Power Tools

An odd thing happened yesterday when I came home from Nuova Lazio High.
But before I explain. let me digress a little.

I like power tools
No, I am in error.

 

I LOVE power tools.  Like most men I just adore the feelings of:

• efficiency
• speed (at least finishing the job quicker so we can get back to TV and Beer)
• Noise (controlled by us)
• Danger (limited and controlled)

Even apparently simple jobs are much more fun when done using a power tool.
Screwing in a woodscrew? Use an electric screwdriver.
Want a nail in a piece of wood? You could use a hammer, but a Nail Gun is much more amusing.  (Especially if you manage to get your hands on one of those "Special" nail guns that uses explosive cartridges to punch masonry nails through reinforced concrete.  Wow)
We guys appreciate the feeling of superiority over the Universe that these tools give us. 
We may be spineless wimps at home or at work, but give us a Chainsaw and every tree is a potential victim.
It's very satisfying.

But seriously, the real reason we get all these power tools (if so allowed by our lovely partners) is to make a job easier and/or quicker.
I can chop down a tree with a chainsaw in about 5-10 minutes.  With an axe it would take hours, if I could chop it down at all. And I could do it without raising a sweat.
I can plane a board of wood using a power plane in 2-3 minutes.  Doing it by hand using a wood plane could take up to 15 minutes, and the result would probably not be as good.
Power tools, when properly used, can deliver machine-like accuracy and precision.
A hand cut dovetail joint for a drawer front is rarely as tight a fit or as good looking as a machine cut dovetail.
In my garage at the moment I have the following:
Power Plane
Electric Grinder
Power Sander
Dremmel micro-tool
Electric Jigsaw
Hand held circular saw
Router (¼" collet)
750 Watt Electric Hammer Drill
2 x 18 volt rechargeable battery drills/screwdrivers
A pillar mounted bench drill press
A Sliding Compound Miter Saw
Electric Bench grinder with water cooled carborundum stone

Drill Press

All of these tools have their own specialised application, but occasionally they can be used for other tasks. But they are really good, fast and accurate in performing their own speciality.
We would expect that similar tools would excite similar feelings in our lovely ladies, but it appears not.

Over the years we have had just a couple of power tools for the kitchen. 

An electric knife
A kenwood chef (with all the attachments)
A Braun food processor
A liquidiser
A Braun hand held thingy that creams soup while it's still hot in the pot.

The food processor is a thing of joy. It has all the attachments you could possibly imagine.
It can chop, puree, mix, grate and slice.  All very quickly and efficiently.

So when I came home yesterday to the lovely smell of cooking I was happy.
As we sat down to our evening meal, I was happy.
As I munched at the crunchy potato and sweetcorn Rosti with poached Salmon in a tomato and Basil sauce I was bloody ecstatic.
Then I thought I detected something else in the Rosti, and I asked my beloved
"Is there something else in these Dear?" I enquired. "Cabbage, perhaps?"
"No" She glared.  [Ed. I know that glare is a word normally used for an expression, especially alluding to the eyes, but believe me, my beloved, like many ladies, can speak with a glare]
"Oh", I said, "Just potato then"
"Yes" She replied  "I had to grate over a kilo, and my arm is so tired now"
"Oh", I said (I know it's a bit repetitious, but it's accurate. Any guys in a long-time relationship reading this will understand.  Ladies, we're not being offensive.  We're just looking for peace)
"Thanks for all your hard work sweetheart" I said in tones of appeasement, love and appreciation.  "It's really tasty" (It really was)
"Hmmpph" But she looked moderately happy.

Rosti

As I washed up afterwards (No complaints. If my beloved spends time and effort in making me an exceedingly tasty meal, I'll wash and dry with a smile on my face.  Inside of course, I'm moaning to myself that this is all women's work, and that my Dad would not be happy in seeing me doing the washing and drying.  And Ironing.  And vacuuming) I wondered why my beloved had hand grated a kilo of spuds.  We had a food processor which would have done the job in seconds.  It would also have made the gratings (?Is this a correct word?  Gratings? whatever) finer and consistent, so making it easier to squeeze out the excess moisture before cooking.

I'll never understand women.  Why on earth didn't she use the power tool specifically designed for the job.
Maybe she has a strong martyr complex, and likes to cause herself pain. I just don't know.

All that worries me is all that extra muscular effort.  If my beloved keeps this up, she'll end up all muscular.

Help.  She's going to beat me up. Stop grating spuds.

Getting beaten up by my beloved does not appeal.


By the way. The most absolutely gorgeous Power Tool I have ever seen was a two-stroke powered portable hand drill.  It was almost completely useless, with the weight and vibration. But it was still gorgeous. I haven't met a man yet that didn't desire it.