Bin Thursday

This is not a reference to that occasional blogger "Bin Hire", but to the odd Kiwi rubbish removal system.
We live in Silverstream, a pleasant, slightly upmarket area between Upper Hutt (UH) and Stokes Valley in Lower Hutt. I pay rates to the UH council, to the amount of $566 every two months.
This is not an inconsiderable amount, and for this money, I expect to get a reasonable service.
Ha.
OK, UH has a reasonable library service, some decent gyms and swimming pools, and some very nice parks and walks. But I have to pay again for council-authorised bin bags if I want my rubbish removed, and I have to of course, dump the rubbish at the road side for collection.

In the UK, my rates were very similar. The council there provided three large wheelie bins, one for household rubbish, one for recyclables and one for organic garden waste. The bins were emptied every week and the cost to me? nothing. It was all included in the rates. As was completely free education for my kids in primary and secondary, a great library service, fully professional fire brigade, good policing levels and all the other services you would expect in a civilized country. Everything was delivered without an extra charge.
As the rates are very similar, why the hell doesn't the Kiwi councils manage to do the same?
I actually now find it cheaper to use a private service which costs me $140 per year for a wheely bin plus weekly emptying. This works out to about the same as if we were buying the council authorised bin bags, and we can stuff all sorts of waste into the big bin.


I suspect that the Kiwi councils are spending too much on all the loony-lefty-greenie causes. You know the ones. With names like: "The Maori Lesbian Coalition for Artistic Expression Through Public Defecation "

or

"Gay Horse Fanciers and Flower Arrangers Supporting the Freedom Fighters of the Taliban".

The loons.
Plus of course the large dinners on the council credit cards.
Abandon the loons.
Support the schools
Make rubbish collection more efficient and totally free.
There's an idea. We could chain the loons to the rubbish cart, get them to work for a change and reduce my rates.

Wonderful Wednesday

What a lovely day.
The relief is all set, and I've only got two classes today.
I've no meetings tonight, so I'll get home at a reasonable time.
I'm getting to know our relievers a lot better, and they're a nice bunch. It feels strange to be in "charge" of such a group, especially when I realise that I'm the guy who says if they work or not, which means of course if they get paid or not.
So the attitudes of the relievers to me is also a bit ambivalent. I'm the guy who phones them at 7:00 in the morning, and drags them out of bed to supervise a bunch of noisy kids. I'm also the guy who decides if they make any money.

Actually the money side is a bit of a concern on a couple of fronts.


When Ringo was in charge of the relievers, he was a little bit careless about putting in the claim for pay for many of our relievers, and some of them didn't get paid for quite a few weeks, even though they'd worked the hours.
My other concern is the amount of money paid out. Not that the relievers don't deserve the money, but the get about $250 per day. If we have many teachers out, as happened on Monday, and will again on Friday, then we may employ up to 5 relievers. That costs the school $1250, and it comes out of our operating funds (sort of)which are not exactly abundant. It worries me sometimes, that our staff are not aware of the costs, and book days of, and expect cover for unnecessary meetings and events. I'm not complaining about taking a day off sick, but arranging a meeting when you're supposed to be teaching, when it would be fairly simple (mostly) to re-arrange it for a time when you have a non-contact spell.
Maybe I should start to educate my colleagues.
I am a teacher you know.

On a different tack, my beloved dragged me of to the cinema last night. It's the Ascot in Upper Hutt, and Tuesday night is $10 each night. (Actually it was $9.50 each, but I didn't have the moral courage to ask the dreadlocked teenage Pakeha who served us why the 50 cent reduction. Maybe I just looked like an old tired decrepit teacher and he felt pity for me. Maybe he was the product of our amazing educational system and thought that $9.50 was the same as $10.00. Maybe he was just an idiot.)
We saw Inception.


Go and see this film. I won't spoil it for anyone by saying that it makes you really think about reality. It works on many levels. Plenty of bangs, crashes, fast cars (and speeding trains), shooting etc, mostly in the James Bond style. Very little mushy stuff, except that love is at the core of the film.
Completely recommended. make the time and go and see it. The special effects are fantastic, but it's not really a special effects film like Avatar was. The special effects are an intrinsic part of the story-telling. For those of us at Nuova Lazio High, if a certain lady (with the same first name as Superman's girlfriend) teacher sees this she'll be raving about it for weeks, and probably base her entire Film & TV course around it.

Magic.

Relief 2

This was my first day of taking over the duties of organising relievers for teachers who cannot be, for whatever reason, in front to their classes,
Today we had 10 teachers out. Some to attend a Powhiri for our departing Mr Hardmaterials at P-college, to stand with him on the Marae as he "crossed over" to the dark side.

It was tricky, but as usual, the thing that made it bearable was the fantastic collegiality of our staff. They are incredibly supportive to newcomers and poor sods like me, starting on a job with no experience in that particular area.

I enjoyed meeting our relievers as well. Normally I don't speak to them, not out of any conscious act, just that I'm normally too busy to stop and spend time.
It was very rewarding, these relievers cover a huge range, from older teachers who want/need the extra money, to returning OE Kiwi teachers, who need to build up experience and references before returning to teaching full-time.

We also get some who, in all honesty, are past their sell-buy date. They mean well, but they're basically baby-sitters. Capable of keeping a class of kids under some semblance of control. Just. But as for following a lesson plan given to them by the "normal" class teacher, forget it.

I look forward to building up my knowledge of these essential components of Kiwi teaching, so I can gently remove the dead and rotting wood, and build a structure stretching into the future, of active and aware relief professionals.

Yeah, Right.

Sunny Sunday

Gorgeous day.
I'm planning on spending a good part of it in the garden.
With the bad weather we've been having, the weeds are getting out of hand.

My beloved does not believe in "Chemical gardening" so I am not allowed to use weed killers, and have to dig the things out by hand.
My beloved is away to Church, doing whatever it is God-botherers do, leaving me in peace with a cup of coffee and the computer.

I am resisting temptation to go and look at essential things, like NZQA, school web-mail etc.

Dog is asleep on the sofa, sunlight is streaming in the windows, bacon, hash browns, egg and sausage are sizzling, the All Blacks beat the Wallabies (again).

Life sometimes just doesn't get better.
I can forget that tomorrow I pick up the reins of Relief Setting, that I have to arrange the Report Templates, that I am starting on the Timetabling committee.
I just enjoy the moment.

Oops, I smell the bacon starting to burn.
Brunch calls, my beloved will soon be home. I'll set the table in the garden, and we can enjoy an al fresco brunch under the stranger Sun.

Have a nice day.
I will.

Pornography.

I'm a teacher.

I'm the Head of Faculty of ICT at Nuova Lazio (Also the guy in charge of creating the report system, the SMS (KAMAR)fixer-upper, the go-to guy for any minor/medium computing faults/problems, the mug who is taking care of relief, and much much more. But I don't like to boast.)
One of my jobs is to do the weekly trawl through the student's files for any "Unsuitable images"
By the nature of searching in an ICT system, and to the fact that any file can be given a name which bears no relation to it's contents, each file in the student's directories has to be examined visually to ascertain the suitability or otherwise of it's contents.
In other words, I have to look at every file created/saved/modified by the 958 pupils in Nuova Lazio.

It's a dirty job, but some one's got to do it.

The major search is for mild to severe porn.

My general criteria is the press. If an image could appear in the Dom. Post, then I deem it acceptable.
Girls in bikinis are OK, naked breasts or other exposed areas are verbotten.

Of course a double standard applies.








An image of Carmen Diaz in briefs is noted and erased, whilst a picture of Dan Carter in his Jockeys is ignored.






Over the last 5 years of doing these searches I have seen much amusing material, but actually very little porn.

The worst was found in the files of a Thai boy. He seemed to have developed a taste for Coprophilia. Mind you this same boy was also known for his propensity of cutting a hole in his trousers just below the zipped fly, and poking and waggling his index finger out of this hole. Especially in the presence of female teachers.

I think it would be fair to say he had some problems.

Most of the kids are just too embarrassed to look at "naughty" pictures when others are present, and many don't even know what they're looking at, they're just too young and immature.

It's been an interesting exercise. It certainly broadens the mind, never mind the tent effect. Funny. When I'm doing this search in the staff workroom ( I never do these searches in private, it's too dangerous. I need absolute transparency. As do some of the young ladies undergarments.)the other, (mostly male) members of staff tend to cluster around, looking over my shoulder, muttering comments like "Tut tut", "Well I never", "Would you look at the knockers on that", "Could you send that one to me?".
Guys never seem to tire of looking at the female form unclothed.

We're all little boys, embarrassed to admit it, feet crossed over in squirming awkwardness, but we don't close our eyes, just quickly avert them when caught.

I don't believe that the gentle sex suffers from the same obsession with naked glistening bodies as do the males.
I might be mistaken, and any ladies reading this feel free to correct my misapprehension.






Be warned.

The next image is, I think tasteful and not obscene, but some may find it offensive.

I find it eminently desirable. I could look at it for hours, just imagining the taste.

Do not scroll down if you think you may be offended by such an image.

Ultra Short Friday

Not well yesterday, dizzy and a bit feverish. Went home early (for me) at 3:30, asleep in the couch beside my beloved who has a stinking cold from 4 until 7.
Meal, shower and in bed by 8:30.

Slept right through unitl 6 this morning. I feel so much better, not 100%, but capable of work.
Nuova Lazio calls, and my ingrained protestant (or in my particular case, agnostic) work ethic will not let me stay home unless I'm really not well.

By the way, I spotted this image on the web.
It's Brittany Murphy.

Don't you think it looks like our own fair Fflur?

Thursday Extra

Had to add this image.

Spooted it on a website while I was looking for an image for sparrow-fart (An old Army expression meaning very early, before the birds are awake)

Short Thursday

I have to get into Nuova Lazio early this morning. I'm taking over the control of the teacher reliever system next week, and the current guy in charge is showing me the ropes. Unfortunately I have to be in the place by 7:10, which means getting up at 5:40.
This is really too early, and it does not put me into a happy frame of mind.

Ah well.

Yesterday went well, most of my problems were resolved satisfactorily, and I had a good day of teaching, with plenty of learning apparent (For the uninitiated, the presence of one does not always assure the presence of the other)


Slightly worried about the beginnings of an outbreak of swine flu in schools in the Wairarapa.
It's just started, and they've already got 25% of kids off sick. I hope it doesn't spread over here.

Wonderful Wednesday

What a beautiful day.

I was pretty down on Monday after having survived a day from Hell in Nuova Lazio High.
Actually it wasn't a day from Hell but just one hour.
One of my Year 10 classes became impossible to control. There were a variety of factors involved.

• It was spell 5, the last spell of the day
  
  
• It was a Monday, when the kids are still a bit unsettled after a weekend of fun and freedom.
  
  
• Many of the kids had just come back after a week away at national Kapa Haka (they did really well)
  
  
• A small group just didn't want to work.
  

No matter what strategy I used, which techniques I employed, even with over 12 years teaching experience, I could not get the little darlings to settle down and do some work.
It ended with me:
Putting 3 kids out of class (first time in 6 years), and handing out 4 detentions.
Calling a DP after one little spoilt sweetheart told me to "f*ck off", and go and "f*ck myself" after I had picked up her phone (banned from school, especially in classrooms)
I was really down that evening, didn't want to go back to school next day, but I'm old and experienced enough to know that a good sleep puts things in perspective.
So I had a good sleep.



On Tuesday I went in with a plan. A seating plan.
The class who had been a problem on Monday spell 5 were my first class on Tuesday.
They were met with:
Wait outside please until I am ready.
Then (after 2 or 3 minutes) allowed into the class.
Every computer had been switched off by me.
They were told (nicely) not to turn the computers on.
They were then given a quiet little talk about the events of yesterday, and an explanation of my fear that no Learning took place.
So there would have to be changes.
I also apologised for losing my temper and shouting at them yesterday (I have been in the Army, and can still project a parade ground bellow), as many of them had been trying to work, it was just a small minority.
I gave them a seating plan, worked out with their individual personalities and characteristics in mind, and with the objective of altering the class dynamic.

Two pupils refused to abide by the plan and when I refused quietly to alter my room's seating to their satisfaction, they grew upset.

I gave them the choice. Accept it or leave. They both left in a real hissy fit, slamming the door behind them.

The rest of the class sat where I asked, and we then got down to a good 35 minutes of teaching and learning, in quite a subdued atmosphere.
It was a successful lesson, and informal assessment via questions and answers seemed to indicate that the main points had got across to most. Some revision and re-statement need for next spell, in the area of Intranet, Extranet and Internet definitions and usage.

Two of the girls came to their detentions, did the exercises I set, but 1 boy and 1 girl didn't. Never mind I'll get them on Thursday.

So today is a good day.

Major problem sorted (for now)
And I've only got two spells of teaching today, both with my senior classes, both on assessments, so only have to circulate and supervise.

So today is a wonderful day.

Back to Normal

Thank goodness for an efficient Telstra help desk. It took me 30 minutes to get through, but when I did they were really helpful and knowledgeable, and had my system back up in 5 minutes

The cable network had a glitch yesterday, with many subscribers being cut of from network access. I had tried to reset my modem/router while this was going on, and inadvertently deleted all of the IP and DNS settings.
Here's a helpful note to all of you out there in blogland.
Open up your network area on your computer, look at the properties of your connectors, and make a note of them on a notepad file, so you can use them to reset your modem/router if needs be.

There seems to be a proliferation of suspect identity bloggers suddenly around. I wonder if this is linked to the sudden disappearance of Tom, and the sudden disappearance and reappearance of Second?

Strange things afoot.

Hell on Earth

Keeping in the ever-popular biblical theme, I discovered I was cursed.
NO INTERNET.



From Sunday night to this morning, I was cut-off. Alone. Isolated.
No Blogs, news, email, software updates. Nothing.
It was like being transported back to the dark ages, or in New Zealand terms, back to the "Piggy" Muldoon era.

It is only through the manipulation of my miraculous computing powers, that I can get this minimal post off through the quagmire we call the Nuova Lazio network.

Hope it's back up tonight, or I'll get really upset.

Apocalypticaly upset.



End of the Universe upset.

Flatulence

Seeing how we've become a wee bit serious over the last few days, I thought I'd change to a more light-hearted (but not better smelling) area.
Like many of the population over 40, I get my blood cholesterol checked regularly. After my last checkup, my doctor put me onto a Statin type medication, designed to reduce the "bad" blood fatty acids/triglycerides.
Unfortunately, Statins can have some side effects, and the one that hit me was excessive flatulence.

Luckily I'm a bloke. Blokes like to fart. Other blokes laugh when blokes fart. It's the way we are. We also use farting to mark our territory and possessions. Married blokes often fart in bed, to give their "mark" to their nest and to their mate. The women moan, but they really know that farting in bed is a sign of love and togetherness, and they don't really mean it.

If two or more blokes are together and one of them farts, in can often trigger off a mass fart episode, where each bloke tries to outdo his mates with a bigger, better, noisier and even smellier fart than anyone else. We might moan, hold our noses and even gag, but then we laugh or giggle (It's one of the only times a guy can giggle in public with other guys)

Being a teacher can have it's own problems however. In class, farting from the kids (especially the boys) is practically de rigeur, but it is not normally a major problem form the class-control viewpoint. (Unless the fart that is released moves into the area of toxic pollution or approximates a military incapacitating agent, necessitating evacuation of the area) But a farting teacher is more problematic. Pupils "know" that teachers are only human, and that all normal bodily processes apply, but to appear superior to the little darlings, we try to project a god-like infallibility. Farting spoils this effect.
There is however an easy solution, requiring only the mastery of the silent fart, which only requires a little practice beforehand.
(Or one of these commercially produced "Fart Silencers"

When the teacher feels a fart pressure buildup that is approaching critical levels, all he has to do is begin to wander among the pupils, making comments on their work, giving feedback and feedforward. As he passes two or more boys, let the first wisps escape. This works only when you have boys in your class. Try and time it so the release happens when you're between two of the kids, so no-one is quite sure who released the miasma of corruption. As the mutters of the unclean increase, as they begin to smell the gas, quietly turn, nostrils flaring. Allow a slightly pained look to pass across your face, direct your gaze to the two boys near the centre of the gas cloud and sigh gently. A slight mutter of "Boys, boys, please." can add a subtle hint of superiority. There are no punishments awarded, slight grins can be exchanged with all males in the area, accompanied with a small shake of the head.
Hey, it's no big deal, we're all blokes together. Works.

You'll notice that there is no mention of ladies in these notes on flatulence.
Obvious.

Ladies don't fart. They project bodily perfection at all times, and such gross metabolic functions are never mentioned or alluded to.
Ladies don't fart, they just discretely exude methanoic waste products.

Hey. Maybe when just women get together they fart, belch and make fart jokes in the same way as groups of blokes do?
Maybe.
But I don't believe it.