Holidays

Being a teacher, I get plenty of holidays.

Sleep and Longing

We survived!

Eleven weeks of trauma at Nuova Lazio High School, but we survived.

Toilet Humour Seriousness

I try to keep a humorous vein running through most of my posts.

There is a reason for this.

Life throws so many damned nasty and unpleasant experiences at us, that I see it as my duty to help alleviate the gloom, and help myself and others to view the lighter side of life.

It also helps that I'm a deeply cynical, old Scottish Sod (M' Beloved's words, not mine)

But sometimes, a gleam of truth shines through.

This is an example.

Intermission

Just to keep everyone happy, and aware the TSB is still posting while I am working on my next masterpiece, just a few amusing images.

TSB Bombs (Part the Third)

The Sergeant looked at me.

 

"Put this school under lockdown immediately" he said.

TSB Bombs (Part the 2nd)

I left the last post just as the school secretary approached at a great rate of knots, telling me that the Police wanted a word.

TSB Bombs

At Last.

After 16 years of teaching, my finer qualities have been recognised.

16 years of suffering teenage body odours.



16 years of maintaining a cool, friendly and professional mien.

16 years of correcting students' essays with such basic errors of grammar, syntax and punctuation as to cause an acute and sobbing heartbreak in the depths of my soul.(which I don't have anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but it's a bit existentialist, so I'll keep it in)

Plus of course 3 bloody years putting up with Ringo. (See earlier posts for this tragic tale of Mancunian angst.  And a right bastard)

I had made it.

I had reached the penultimate heights of teaching.

I was now an The Assistant Principal.

On My Way Back

Be aware that TSB is coming back

Absolute Power

Corrupts.

Great days ahead in Nuova Lazio High School.

Richter Surfing

It was another normal day in NLHS.

The usual steady file of miscreants, no-hopers and just plain evil b*stards was drifting through my office.  I got rid of these teachers by showing either complete indifference or pretending to be deaf. (Getting old has some advantages)

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Last)

The whole sorry saga of the Strange Scotsman is winding down.

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Fourth)

Continuing the tale.

I would recommend that if you are reading my blog for the first time that you go back and start from The Strange Scotsman

Doctor F*cking Libby



Silly lady

I'm stepping aside from the saga of the suspicious Scotsman for at least one post, and concentrating on a certain Doctor Libby, who I found on the pages of NZ Life and Leisure.

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Third)

I was sitting quietly in my office (not my little office, but my big office.  I keep the little office under my control just in case I f*ckup magnificently and get demoted.  Again.)

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Second)

He wasn't quite as strange as this, but close.

The Strange Scotsman

Nope.
Before anyone thinks this refers to me, they're wrong.
I admit I'm sometimes thought a little eccentric, in a loveable yet lightly scary manner, but strange?
I don't think so.

Things to do when you're not blogging

During the 7 or so months when I was rather pre-occupied with trivia, I was unable to blog.
 

TSB is (slowly) coming back

HELLO MY LOVELIES

TSB is going away

For all you readers (if such there may be) of this collection of scurrilous tales, blatant mistruths, outright insults and many, many images of scantily clad ladies if have some bad news.

RINGO IS GOING

Bye Suckers

This has been an incredibly odd month. 

I've become a Koro (Grandfather in Maori), been trying to complete and proof-read my and colleagues' end-of-year reports  been trying to help my students complete their last minute assessments, been trying to understand the new Level 3 standards for next year, been trying to organise next year's timetable and of course, trying to keep on top of all of the housework while my Beloved is away in the UK.

Then it got better... and worse.

First, the good news.

Ringo is departing.

He told us (the timetable committee) on Thursday that he's resigning and leaving to take up a new PPTA post. 

After the cheering had died down (he looked a bit miffed for some reason at our obvious joy) I got some other news.

The Principal (Dancing Bear) has asked me to step in as acting Deputy Principal for at least the first term of 2013, which means a whole shit-load of extra duties and responsibilities, as well as continue as the Head of ICT (Computing) and to keep on doing relief.

I think I can do it, but it's worrying.

I can always try to emulate Ringo's style and do the following:

• Piss off every teacher in the school and make at least 5 leave.
• Become over-friendly with the pupils.
• Ignore the bad behaviour of the pupils and tell everyone it's purely due to the home environment and blame the post-colonisation mindset of the Pakeha (Europeans)
• Forget to tell ANYONE what my plans are.
• Ignore deadlines and all important duties.
• Grunt at colleagues passing in corridors as a form of greeting.
• Bully the staff into accepting that THEY are always in the wrong.
• Speak in a condescending manner to all and sundry, with a nasal Mancunian accent.
• Screw up every computerised system available.
• Lose 3 laptops in one year.
• Insist that the students develop their skills in creating computerised portfolios and keep all their work on the "cloud" where it will promptly disappear.

If/when I take up the post, I'll try and keep Ringo's attitudes and behaviours in the forefront of my mind, and will try and always do the f*cking opposite of what he did.

I can't wait.