Restarting the Machine

It's been some time since I visited these cyberspace annals.
Since I got appointed as an Acting Deputy Principal, then a Deputy Principal, then an Acting Assistant Principal, and then finally as an Assistant Principal (it's a long, complex and mildly depressing story, so please don't ask) I have found myself being inhibited from posting my normal style of blog.

I'm a Boss

Anything I used to say as a 'normal' teacher could be interpreted in a different way  as a posting from a member of the 'Senior Management Team'

That was what I was told anyway, by a member of said SMT.

I, however have come to a conclusion.

Fück it.

I'll write what I bloody want.

I've only got another year or two to go, then the heady ambrosial plains of retirement beckon, and anything I do/write will have little effect on my colleagues or Stalag Luft III in Nuova Lazio where I work.

(BTW, DO NOT do an Image search for "Prison School" unless you have feelings of a paedophilic and sadistic bent.)


During the intervening time since I paused in posting, I have been very busy on an infamous UK-based forum called ARRSE.
This is mostly populated by serving and retired British Army personnel, so you may find that my posts have gone a touch cruder, exposed as I have been to the licentious, debased but very amusing soldiery.

I'll really get it going tomorrow, when I can think up a suitably engrossing and disgusting topic.

The Delights of being a MAN (part 2)

In an ongoing project to celebrate the differences between blokes and our lovely ladies, I may occasionally meander into areas of some disagreement.

I am quite willing to agree that you may disagree with some of my comments, but I know who's right.

The Delights of Being a MAN (part 1)

On a previous post, I commented (at probably too great a length) on some of the differences between ourselves and our lovely ladies.

Holidays

Being a teacher, I get plenty of holidays.

Sleep and Longing

We survived!

Eleven weeks of trauma at Nuova Lazio High School, but we survived.

Toilet Humour Seriousness

I try to keep a humorous vein running through most of my posts.

There is a reason for this.

Life throws so many damned nasty and unpleasant experiences at us, that I see it as my duty to help alleviate the gloom, and help myself and others to view the lighter side of life.

It also helps that I'm a deeply cynical, old Scottish Sod (M' Beloved's words, not mine)

But sometimes, a gleam of truth shines through.

This is an example.

Intermission

Just to keep everyone happy, and aware the TSB is still posting while I am working on my next masterpiece, just a few amusing images.

TSB Bombs (Part the Third)

The Sergeant looked at me.

 

"Put this school under lockdown immediately" he said.

TSB Bombs (Part the 2nd)

I left the last post just as the school secretary approached at a great rate of knots, telling me that the Police wanted a word.

TSB Bombs

At Last.

After 16 years of teaching, my finer qualities have been recognised.

16 years of suffering teenage body odours.



16 years of maintaining a cool, friendly and professional mien.

16 years of correcting students' essays with such basic errors of grammar, syntax and punctuation as to cause an acute and sobbing heartbreak in the depths of my soul.(which I don't have anyway, so it doesn't really matter, but it's a bit existentialist, so I'll keep it in)

Plus of course 3 bloody years putting up with Ringo. (See earlier posts for this tragic tale of Mancunian angst.  And a right bastard)

I had made it.

I had reached the penultimate heights of teaching.

I was now an The Assistant Principal.

On My Way Back

Be aware that TSB is coming back

Absolute Power

Corrupts.

Great days ahead in Nuova Lazio High School.

Richter Surfing

It was another normal day in NLHS.

The usual steady file of miscreants, no-hopers and just plain evil b*stards was drifting through my office.  I got rid of these teachers by showing either complete indifference or pretending to be deaf. (Getting old has some advantages)

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Last)

The whole sorry saga of the Strange Scotsman is winding down.

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Fourth)

Continuing the tale.

I would recommend that if you are reading my blog for the first time that you go back and start from The Strange Scotsman

Doctor F*cking Libby



Silly lady

I'm stepping aside from the saga of the suspicious Scotsman for at least one post, and concentrating on a certain Doctor Libby, who I found on the pages of NZ Life and Leisure.

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Third)

I was sitting quietly in my office (not my little office, but my big office.  I keep the little office under my control just in case I f*ckup magnificently and get demoted.  Again.)

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Second)

He wasn't quite as strange as this, but close.

The Strange Scotsman

Nope.
Before anyone thinks this refers to me, they're wrong.
I admit I'm sometimes thought a little eccentric, in a loveable yet lightly scary manner, but strange?
I don't think so.

Things to do when you're not blogging

During the 7 or so months when I was rather pre-occupied with trivia, I was unable to blog.