Sometimes some thoughts are better for not being thought at all.
In the morning, what is the first thing you do when you wake up.
It should be WASH YOUR HANDS.
Do you know what you've been scratching while you were asleep?
(A survey showed that over 76.3% of respondents scratched an itchy anus during the night)
Less than 25% of the population wash their hands before eating breakfast. Or before gently caressing a loved-one's face.
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| What's that smell on your fingers Dear? |
In the shower. Think on this.
What is the first thing you wash? (A survey showed 94% washed their faces first)
What is the last thing you washed? ( A survey showed 96.4% washed their arses (asses if you're a citizen of the US of A) last.
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| Wash first? |
Did you wash the soap before putting it back in the dish? (A survey showed that less than 1.1% of the population do so)
How many people wash the soap before doing anything else as they start their shower. (A survey showed less than 2.1% washed the soap before washing their faces)
This means that more than 92.7% of people wash their faces with ass-contaminated soap.
Happy showering.
In the toilet.
A survey indicated that around 55% of people DID NOT wash their hands after going to the toilet.
Most of these people work in offices and on computers.
A microbiological survey has shown that computer keyboards have a heavier faecal bacterial contamination than toilet seats.
How many of you wash your hands after using a computer but before eating?
How many of you have had an unexplained food poisoning incident.
"Nuff said.
After a heavy rainstorm, the waste-water treatment facilities of most cities are swamped with the run-off water. This water has the heaviest contamination of all types of waste-waters due to it's very high concentration of dog faeces.
It has been estimated that every city street has over 1 kg of dog shit per 100 square metres. You cannot see it, it's spread too thinly.
How many people remove and disinfect their shoes after returning home?
Less than 1.3%.
Which means that every carpet in your house has a nice layer of dog shit being ground in every day.
Just let the kids play on it. It builds up immunities.
For the record. I don't scratch my arse when I sleep. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteHow do you REALLY know. You're asleep.
DeleteYou mean you DON'T do the sniff test?
DeleteAhah...proves my point. Anyway, everyone's noses are all stuffed up in the morning. Layers and layers of dried mucus and snot, so you can't really smell anything anyway.
DeleteThat what our immune system is for..interestingly the native peoples of the planet generally have much fewer bacteria in their environments. How is it that modern living seems to concentrate germs and bacteria right into our immediate surroundings..it's like we're trying to kill ourselves.
ReplyDeleteKeeping the immune system challenged is quite easy working in a school. The little ambulatory germ factories contaminate everything. If it doesn't kill off the teachers in the first 6 months than you end up being mostly immune to everyting, probably including the Black Death. It's the stress that makes them go off sick, not the germs.
DeleteYou could wear latex gloves and take them off in the morning before eating breakfast?
ReplyDeleteFunnily enough I tried that once. The problem was I woke up with only one glove on my left hand.
DeleteThe right glove had vanished.
I did have a vague memory of a dream where I chewed a lot of gum.
Constipation was a problem that week.
68% of quoted statistics are just wrong TSB. {Aye - I just made that up}
ReplyDeleteSome of these 'facts' may be gross exagerration - or certainly just gross.......
How many people cleanout their shower heads regularly before use - a great place for bacterial build up. Fact is we're constantly bombarded by bacteria but basic hygiene routines keep us safe most of the time and our immune systems are there to protect us too.
How much bacteria is there on a car steering wheel that's regularly sneezed on? - and of course there's that old one about never eating from the dishes of free nuts in a bar as they have traces of an average of 11 persons urine on them. And what about us pet owners handling and living with ball licking dogs or arse cleaning cats every day?
I work with an autistic client who has pica - a compulsive disorder where he will eat any - and I do mean any - organic matter he can get his hands on. {It's incredible the things you find down the side of bus seats by the way. Yum!} He also has very high levels of anxiety and wants to hold hands or stroke your face to look in your eyes etc. Helping him keep it under control is exhausting - and as I'm about to go and spend a shift with him I can't thank you enough for bringing this info to ny attention. Aye thanks pal - like I'm not paranoid enough about my personal hygiene these days! lol
That's OK, I made up mine as well.
DeleteLet me make it perfectly clear; I do not lick my dog's balls.
We had a pupil with pica about 7 years ago. Some of the sillier kids would guide her all around school at break by dropping bits of food in front of her.
Paranoia is good.
This is why I try never to think about bacteria. Life is pretty gross when you think about it.
ReplyDeleteTracy.
Ah, but I'm a microbiologist, so I can't stop thinking about them. Life is gross. Enjoy.
DeleteHow's this for a made-up statistic: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080603085914.htm
DeleteI'm sure I'm reading it wrong, but it seems to imply we are 9% human and 91% bacteria.
In RIngo's case, the human side is overrepresented...I'd say that about 2% for him would be closer to the mark.
DeleteIt's the NUMBER of cells they're talking about. Bacteria are normally much, much smaller than many human cells, and most of them exist in a very concentrated form in our guts, so the ratio of weight is probably reversed. About 10% of our total body weight is bacterial/microbial.
PS Poo is almost 95% dead bacterial cells. (That's why it smells)
can't remember the last time I scratched my anus in bed frankly... so not sure your stats are accurate old boy
ReplyDeleteSorry, I mis-typed the title. It should be Gross Thoughts and Bad Statistics.
DeleteUgh
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteMr Nkt Nkt (aka Vampire Satan, Cat of Evil) licks his arse. I've never seen him washing his tongue.
ReplyDeleteOh, and morning TSB. I wonder what Pompous managed to fuck up over the weekend? Maybe he lost one of his children on a trip to the supermarket? Maybe he drove his car into the garage door? Maybe he mowed his neighbour's lawns, thinking they were his?
Now don't get too cynical and twisted Richard, that's my job.
DeleteWho is Pompous? Is he as good as Ringo? Need more stories.
DeleteThe bloke referred to by Richard [of RBB] as Pompous is another DP who has some rather odd personal characteristics. He took over(with Ringo) the creation of the reporting system from me, after the bastards cut my money last year. He's made a few errors and the reports on last friday really got f*cked up.
DeleteHe is a little full of his own importance, but i don't think he's nearly as bad as Ringo...we'll see.
I scratch my arse when I'm awake! I do wash my hands after though :-)
ReplyDeletex
Thanks for sharing that Diane. Glad you wash though.
DeleteMy mum always used to say "you need to eat your own weight in dirt as a kid to stay healthy". She used to let me lick the mud off potatoes - I loved it! God, I'm weird!
DeleteDi
Wow, that's a first. Licking mud of potatoes!
DeleteBut wait.
I vaguely remember that Alistair mentioned licking mud of his knees...have you two met?
I always wash the soap before using it.
ReplyDeleteThe Seinfeld programme 'Soap on a Rope' gave me that 'heads-up'.
I try and avoid shaking people's hands.
I do scratch my arse ( but am aware of it and wash my hands - when I'm washing the soap ..... which means I have to wash the soap again...Oh bugger!)
Life gets so complicated sometimes.
DeleteI had mild food poisoning symptons this morning . . . I thought through everything I'd eaten yesterday . . . well, everything I was aware of eating . . errgh.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, some thoughts are better off un-thought. De-thunk.
Sometimes it's better not to think through these things too deeply. Sorry your tummy is bad.
DeleteI'm a nurse, so I have an immune system of steel. I do wash my hands, but I don't stress about germs and I rarely get sick. I am convinced that exposure to germs keeps the immune system working well and that antibacterial soap is one of the first horses of the apocalypse.
ReplyDeleteMy Beloved, who worked as a nurse for many, many years always said that she never got sick, but every nurse I've met always seemed tired. I think it might be the continuous immunological challenge which weakens you carers of the sick.
DeleteI always liked the smell of Hibitane and Physohex.