For all you readers (if such there may be) of this collection of scurrilous tales, blatant mistruths, outright insults and many, many images of scantily clad ladies if have some bad news.
The entity formerly known as TSB is undergoing a thorough retraining session, designed to mould him into the behaviour expected of a senior member of management. He will shortly be allowed access to a computer where he will be encouraged to create posts of a positive and uplifting nature with numerous references of a pedagogical nature.
He will of course be unable to refer to himself as TSB as the underlying reference is just not acceptable to all right-thinking people.
He will be reborn as Senior Manager Education (Generic)
Thank you for your patience.
Is that a picture of your new face? It's the cleanest shave I've seen outside of a Gillette commercial.
ReplyDeleteThank you Gorilla Bananas, I'm glad you think of me as a clean-shaven exemplar of all that is good and PC.
Delete(SMEG)
That sounds a bit ominous. Will be still be allowed to peek at your "weekend" life?
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid looby, I am quite content in my new persona. There are so many things I'll have to chastise you about.
DeleteIn my new role I am not allowed a weekend, nor a "life"
(SMEG)
Senior Manager Education (Generic) = SMEG
ReplyDeleteWell that sounded familiar.
Wikipedia says:
"Smegma (Greek smēgma, "soap"[1]) is a combination of exfoliated (shed) epithelial cells, transudated skin oils, and moisture. It occurs in both female and male mammalian genitalia."
I wouldn't own up to that if I were you.
And don't you have a MA?
DeleteYes, I did notice that TC, but I do not have a choice in the matter.
DeleteIsn't life just wonderful?
(SMEG)
No, I have an MSc...MAs are for those lovely people who study the difficult ateas of reading.
Delete(SMEG)
Sorry, the previous comment was repeated (again)
ReplyDeleteThat's alright, even the cleverest among us make the occasional mistakes.
Delete(SMEG)
Sorry - can't see that shoe fitting. Your going to hurt your feet!
ReplyDeleteHappy Hogmanay to you and yours my friend. And mony o' them!
Thank you for your concern Alistair, but my feet are quite well thank you.
DeleteSorry, i don't celebrate any pagan festivals anymore, and I am forbidden to touch alcohol in any of its evil forms.
(SMEG)
You'd better be back with only minor alterations....what will I do without regular (totally inappropriate) images of scantily clad young things?
ReplyDeleteHave an excellent New Year!!!
See you in 2013!
Ali x
Oh AliX, I am so sorry I allowed my baser (former)self to publish those terrible images. You can rest assured that it will be allowed to happen in the future.
DeleteThank you so much for your good wishes for next year, but every year is now so good.
(SMEG)
You're not going anywhere, bucko. You'd better get your ass back here post-haste. And I don't want a dip in the quality, got it?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your good wishes TUB, but please don't demean yourself and this forward thinking and completely PC blog by using such rather crude terms.
DeleteThe quality in the future will be better, cleaner and totally smut free.
(SMEG)
Fight it, fight it you'll end up a failure like me!
ReplyDeleteThank you Furtheron, but I cannot fight it. It is just a better way of living.
DeleteJust because you're a failure doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Think positive.
(SMEG)
Say it ain't so, TSB!
ReplyDeleteAnd what The Unbearable Banishment said!
Thank you Austan, but I'm quite content in my new role. The only thing that slightly concerns me is the headaches I get if I think of any bad words or concepts.
Delete(SMEG)
DITTO!!
ReplyDeleteThank you fishducky, but I'm quite content in my new role. The only thing that slightly concerns me is the headaches I get if I think of any bad words or concepts.
Delete(SMEG)
Each day we are reborn.
ReplyDeleteExcellent thought Laoch, I'll keep that in mind each and every glorious morning.
Delete(SMEG)
This wont end well...your usual ascorbic personality is likely to be somewhat damaged.... Oh well, no damage done..
ReplyDeleteThank you for your concern Tempo, but I am sure things will turn out for the better. My vitamin C level is, as always, excellent, but thanks for the hint vis-a-vis my personality.
DeleteDamage is just an alteration required in haste.
(SMEG)
Happy New Year to the new Big Man on Campus at NLHS.
ReplyDeleteMay you enjoy what remains of hte holdiays and please do have a holiday. About time you went away for your summer sojourn. You need to get nice and rested up for what is going to be a big year for an old guy with all your extra responsibilities now you are a Koro and SME (Better know as an acronym to us comemrce teachers as Small Medium Enterprises - in other words mall businesses - the backbone of our economy). I am sure you will become the new backbone of NLHS unlike the other spineless ones there.
All the best for a very prosperous 2013 and may you by bouyed along with a regular supply of whisky to keep your motor running. Lang may yer lum reek as they say in bonnie Scotland, or She'll be right in New Zild.
Thank you VG, but I'm really much happier now.
DeleteAlcohol is no longer on my agenda, nor is any form of disagreement. Anyway, you know it's never the lovely children's fault, it's ours.
(SMEG)
OMG what has happenned to you? HAve you hada braintransplant or been brainwashed in prep for
Deleteyour new role?? I feel your replies are too nice too generated.. too robotic. I hope you have not become a pedogocical syncophant.
To stop partaking in your daily dram. Something is not right here. Where are you TSB?
Good luck with your image-scrubbing and happy new year!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jen, I look forward to a future brimming with goodness and correct thinking.
Delete(SMEG)
So you've given in to them - shame on you!
ReplyDeleteHNY!
Di
X
Thank you for your concern Di, but I'm really much happier looking at life with the correct viewpoint. Have you considered giving all your antiques to a charity? You'll feel much better.
Delete(SMEG)
Sad.
ReplyDeleteSad.
So sad.
Thank you for your concern Jacquelineand..., but why sad? It's really much nicer looking at lie with a postive and completely correct viewpoint.
Delete(SMEG)
WHAT?!!
ReplyDeleteHello BDM, yes, the whichness of what has been concerning me for some time now, but don't worry, everything will work out for the better.
Delete(SMEG)
"Smeg"....Red Dwarf is back on TV.
ReplyDeleteI know, but it's not as good. BTW, SMEG is a name of a European cooking appliance company.
DeleteE tu Brutus?
ReplyDeleteWill you be posting as Senior Manager Education?
DeleteYep., sorry, sic.
DeleteWhat does SMEG mean?
ReplyDeleteBuying european (Italian/Chinese) cooking appliance of superior design and exaggerated cost.
Deleteor
Senior Manager Education (Generic)
You have very artistic ears, think that's what you need as a dep head right?
ReplyDeleteMy ears do indeed protrude to a slight degree, but it's the pressure of the brain that really causes it.
DeleteI think TSB might have gone.
ReplyDeleteOn the way
DeleteNever mind. As I pass his office, early on a school day, tradition (and habit) will probably determine that I'll mutter,
ReplyDelete"Morning TSB."
Ypu do, and I always reply, "Bugger Off"
DeleteHe has gone, gone to another place. A place where the naughiest children sit patiently waiting to break bread with you. Rest in an office TSB.
ReplyDeleteI never rest. The little bastards always come.
DeleteHe's moved on to a better place now. I bet he even gets fully-funded choccy biscuits in his meetings.
ReplyDeleteI'm diabetic. I Don't eat chocolate.
DeleteTis a loss. Paid silence.
ReplyDeleteThansk to the giant fuck-up that is Novopay, I haven't even been paid for the extra hours and responsibilities.
DeleteOh you too now. Sharing the pain with us common teaching folk now. I am still waiting for a payment from September last year! Last week finally got the problem acknowledged and a ticket number assigned by Novopay after 6 bloody months. Still no sign of any money though. When you have been waiting for 6 months see how scratchy you are. However I bet you make sure your relievers get paid eh TSB?
DeleteJust to keep you in the picture, it's now been 6 BLOODY MONTHS and I'm still underpaid by about $12000
Deletethat's you been away long enough. Come back.
ReplyDeleteI shall try Ali, just for you. And the odd little bit of dough in your bread bin.
Delete"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
ReplyDeleteBut I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
R. Frost
Funnily enough. you have managed to quote from my absolute favourite poem of all time...it's really the only poem I've ever liked, apart from
Delete"Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,..."
by James Henry Leigh Hunt
Hey entity formerly known as TSB - are you ever going to be back? Is the sheep dip process of renewal not working on the old curmedgeon then and you are being ritualistically returned after each failure?
ReplyDeleteAlistair, it's mostly a mix of exhaustion, lack of time, and zzzzzz
Delete*taps foot* this has gone on long enough. I shall hold my breath until you return. Come along!!!! I have photos of Tartarus with a MULLET to show you this week!!!!
ReplyDeleteDearest AliX,
Deleteyour kind thoughts are re-awakening my urge to post. My curiosity about Tartarus's mullet is however minute and diminishing by the minute.
BTW, Like your new photo...it suits you.
Dear Twisted, I miss you. Hope all is well with you and yours. Lindaxxx
ReplyDelete