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Monday, 25 June 2012

Soccer is More Important than EDUCATION

A normal morning at Nuova Lazio High School.

At this point I wish to apologise to the poor bloody readers of this Blog.

Personal and family commitments precluded my posting for most of last week.  What makes it even worse is that almost all of the details are sub judice, and if I make any comments, I may well end up in Gaol.

However, back to the main thrust.

Every morning, with the exception of Wednesdays, when we go through the sheer f*cking torture referred to as Professional Learning  (it used to be called Professional Development, but as usual, some namby-pamby-ivory-tower-based-completely-out-of-touch-bloody-educationalist got the name changed to PL instead of PD.  I bet that made his f*cking day.  It's still mostly complete crap) we get what is laughingly called, "The Morning Brief"

Question: "How can I be a better Teacher"

Answer: "Give me a 20,000 volt cattle prod"


However, I digress.

It was a normal Monday morning at NLHS.

Oh, another digression.  The pay system in NZ for schools has been based on a company called PayServe, and although famed for numerous cock-ups, they have stabilised in the last year or so, and have produced a fairly reasonable service.

So the MoE (The Ministry, not the blogger) changed the contract.  Obviously.  If it works, f*ck with it.

A new company called NovoPay is taking over the system in the next couple of months.  Because I'm concerned with recording teacher absences and relieving teacher hours and contracts, I've been told to undertake some training in the new system.

So I went on-line today to start the training session (Please note, no extra time allocated for training, we do out out of the goodness of our hearts.  We do it for the kids. *snorf*)

The training system uses a "fictitious" school called Novo Sands High School. It's just to close to NLHS for comfort.  Is there somebody in the ministry reading the blogs?


Sorry, back to the main post.
This has got to be the main post.Anything less would just collapse.

We were all assembled on the staffroom for the morning Appel, and Dancing Bear did his usual bit.  A bit of jiving, a bit of joking, a bit of dancing, and a funny story.

Then the DPs (Abbreviation for the Deputy F├╝hrers.) gave their contributions.

But wait.

Someone was missing.


O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

Ringo was absent.

But why was the Ringed One not present?

Was it (hold breath, daring to hope) The Black Death?

Was it (sphincters twitching in anticipation) something sexual and decidedly dodgy?

Was it (cardiac muscle so excited it was causing arrhythmia) Terminal Pedagogy?


It was worse.

I found out later that the reason the our professional f*cking leader was late was because he had something much more imprtant to do.

Something much more important than to be a peer model for our teaching staff.

Something much more important than being present for a restorative meeting with me and a student who told me to "chill out, because he was having a smoke".

More important than any lesson preparation, marking, or anything to do with teaching and learning really.
The only good thing about Soccer (Sorry YONKS, I just couldn't resist)

He was staying at home to watch the football match of England v Italy.

As far as I'm concerned, he has now lost all credibility with the staff, who now universally recognize him as a complete wanker.  (This is actually the mildest epithet used by some of our Deans who are in close and frequent contact with him.  Poor buggers; no wonder one's leaving and one's threatening to leave.)

All I can say now, as a professional teacher and middle management leader and a Scot.

I'M SO GLAD ENGLAND LOST  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

"Tak that ye Sassenach bastards"
Robert the Bruce, Bannockburn,  (AD1314)

"Tak that ye Sassenach bastards"


  1. I fear that if I were him I would have stayed at home as well. Although I hope that I would have been clever enough to just show up and watch the thing on my laptop.

  2. Sometimes Loch, I believe you're just evil.

    Well done.

  3. How odd. I visited earlier this evening, and the Googles told me that your blog had been deleted. I thought you'd been banned from blogging by Ringo or summat. Welcome back.

    1. What's even odder, is that Blogger put your comment in the spam bin, I just spotted it and released to to the world.

      I know what the problem was, I'll try and do a post later, explaining the whole screwed-up situation.

      Banned by the Ringed one? Never.

  4. He wanted to stay at watch THAT!!! Honestly - it was banal at best - England were rubbish, the Italians somehow managed to not score, goodness knows how with the possession they had... and anyway... he lives in NZ - what the hell has it to do with him now anyway? Never understand people who emigrate then continue to support the old country? I've several mates in the USA I normally point out the USA failures in rugby, cricket etc. and they say "But I'm English"... Not any longer pal you buggered off and left us having to bear that burden.

    1. I agree on many levels.
      1. I hate football
      2. I thouroughly dislike the Ringed one.
      3. I thoroughly duslike England (soory, I'm Scottish, it's in my genes.
      4. He live in NZ.

      I live in NZ, and support the All Blacks, not Scotland, so I can't see the sense in moving to a new country, adopting their life style, gaining permanent residence and citizenship and still support the old country...mad.

  5. Apology not accepted. Don't let it happen again.

    He couldn't save face by inventing an excuse? He actually let it be know that he stayed home to watch football? He's too honest for his own good. Or did you find out surreptitiously?

    England has the summer Olympics. It would be just piggy of them if they won Euro 2012 as well, don't you think?

    1. I'm not sure why, but it was hinted at by our Principal. I've just remembered he was late for a similar reason last week as well.

      A pox on the Olympics. It's grown far too big with too many sports. Synchronised swimming?

    2. I'm with you re: the Olympics. Not only is much of it irrelevant and dull, it leaves a trail of bankrupt cities in its path. I pray it's never held in NYC.

    3. You're right, it is mostly boring, but there is a new sport being played this time that I might actually watch, namely 7's Rugby, I would suggest giving it a go.

      Yep, the costs are horrendous, and I cannot understand why all those major cities are fighting it out for the privilege of going bust.

    4. It might surprise you to learn that I know a little bit about 7s rugby and I'm looking forward to that. It's fantastic. I think if enough Americans saw rugby, they'd never watch another (American) football game again.

  6. Damn fine way to start a wet Monday.
    Pictures of the Bruce and the fresh memory of the three lions (Kittens) bowing out with tails tucked like spanked children.
    Cheers, Sausage...

    1. Welcome sausage and I'm glad I can make you feel better. After that harrowing incident you described on your blog I think you need cheering up.

      We (the Scots) normally refer to the three lions not as kittens, but pussies.

  7. Morning TSB. He was doing what? Pedag... Pegad... good teaching practice goes out the window. Well, this will cheer you up, I'm giving him the bill for the microphone he lost this morning.

    1. Morning Richard. I'm sorry, i can't eve bear to look at the P...word anyore.

      Yes, that does cheer me up, until I realised he'll probably get the school to pay for it somehow.

    2. Typical bloody Ringo. Thinks he is above the rules and standards of everyone else. Seems as if he is failing in his duty "to be of fit and reasonable character" which we have to be assessed against for our annual appraisals andrenewing one's practicisng certificate. A goo leader would pint this out to him very strongly.

      I think I know where your lost microphone may be RBB. Could some one have shoved it up Ringo's arse and he still can't get it out perhaps?? The Football absence thing could be a cover for him goin to the hospital to get it extracted maybe?? God forbid if he does present it back to you.

    3. I agree it's typical Ringo, but what can we do?
      He has the authority of his position.

      OOOhhh, a microphone shoved up where the mokey hides its nuts?

      I'll ask Richard if he now wants it back.
      it might require a Dettol wash.

  8. I swear you're one of the funniest TSBs around.

    Oddly, the only sport I'll watch is curling. I don't know where this came from, there was/is nobody ever in my life who liked curling, but I love it.

    1. Soory Austan, do you know of any more TSBs?

      I must admit, Curling is a bit of a surprise. I thought it was only the Scots and the Canoe heads who played the "sport".

      I used to like it because of the copous amounts of whisky required to keep one mobile.

  9. Staying at home to watch the footie? That's surely a borderline sackable offence. Oh no, hang on, he's management isn't he? Right, that's OK then.

    1. The inequalities of life often grate, especially as he accused a colleague for being unprofessional.

    2. I do feel for you with this (I would use a rude word there but I actually like the thing it refers to).

  10. God, I am utterly sick of people worshipping at The Church of Football! I have seen grown men - actual adults! - literally cry when their team has lost an important match.
    In my previous jobs, if I'd refused to go to a work related appointment due to something so trivial, that would've been the end of that job.

    1. Welcome Steve, I agree. One of the reasons (a minor one, but definitely on the list)why I left the Uk was to get away from the mindless adoation of soccer, and move to a country where they have the mindless adoration of rugby.

      At least here in NZ, our national team actually win (smash the opposition to pulp)and while being treated a national icons and heros, they don't actually get paid that much.

  11. Where in the heck did you find these photos is what I want to know. A for resourcefulness. Sassenach (never heard of that word!)...must work that into a conversation this arvo.

    1. Just off Google images, it's the careful selection of keywords plus having a twisted sense of ironic humour that let's me find them. Being just a tad perverse also helps. Sassenach was originally a Scots Gaelic word meaning Saxon, thus referring to the English. Some Highlanders however, use it to refer to all Lowlanders, both English and Scottish. Do you think your fellow Californians will understand it's meaning, or even understand arvo?

  12. Hilarious!!! This made me giggle - so many aspects I can relate to!


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