Ah, we can but dream.
As the second part of this little fantasy episode, I enjoyed Richard [of RBB]s post on the unsolicited caller who was trying (I think) to convert him to Christianity, and the method Richard [of RBB] used to disuade him.
Here's another method, used on British Telecom. You may have seen/heard it before, but I think it's great. Especially the way the poor sod of a telesales guy keeps trying. Pathetic yet brave but pointless.
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