For blogs with less than 300 Followers

For blogs with less than 300 Followers
Thanks to Hestia's Larder for this delightful award.
(For Blogs with less than 300 Followers)

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Semi Crippled


I've had it for over 13 years, and it stopped working properly tonight.



It's my Microsoft InteliMouse, the first LED mouse commercially available in the UK.

I bought it for £80 in 1999 when I worked in Comet (an electrical retailer in the UK, I had to pay my student debts back somehow), and it's worked perfectly ever since, until tonight.

The Right Mouse Button has stopped working.  I didn't realise how much the efficient operation of a Windows™ computer relies on the availability of an operational right mouse button.

I know that the same contextual menus can be brought up by using the left mouse button and the menu key on the keyboard, but that's TWO actions rather than the single right button click, and I find it infuriating.

Off to Dick Smith tomorrow to get it replaced.  I suppose 13 years isn't too bad, but it still grates.

Look, it's so old the Microsoft printing has almost worn off.

53 comments:

  1. Doesn't your computer have a touch pad? Great things can be achieved with a supple finger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Gorilla Bananas, but I assume you refer to that minor abomination called a laptop?

      I hate the bloody things and their damned touchpads. If GOD had intended all computers to have a touchpad, HE would have given us small delicate fingers, not the bratwursts I have on my digital extremeties.

      But I do agree with your final point. Great heights can be reached with a subtle finger...just ask my Beloved.

      Delete
  2. Wow, I dont have anything that age or older. My mouse lasts a few years at best and my keyboards last a year at best. You must look after it heaps? I think I've only ever seen dead mice like yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did look after Mr Mouse. Every morning I carefully swept the exterior with a camel-hair brish, to remove any extraneous dust and dirt. Every week I carefully cleaned the exterior with a Lanolin-containing wipe, to maintain the essential elasticity of the exterior plastic.
      Every month I massaged the plastic shell with rare unguents obtained at great risk from the sebaceous sac of a Great White Shark.
      And of course the bi-annual sacrifice of any available rodent to the Great God Gates, to keep the damned thing working.

      Delete
  3. Wow, mouse prices have really come down since 1999. I hope you got your 80 pounds worth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sort of. But I was kind of hoping for "For Ever".

      £80 was about 2 days pay when I sold washing machines et al. Even though I got a company discount it was still a lot, and my Beloved was not amused when I told her, but I was getting so fed up with the damned lint and gunge building up in the old-fashioned ball mice that I had to have one.

      Delete
    2. I have a "PC bits" box with 3 spare laser mice in (perk of the job - strangely, users like keeping their old one instead of using the shiny new one when they get a new PC). If I lived closer, I'd drop one off for you. Knowing you're Scottish, I imagine free would be your preferred price.

      Delete
    3. Thanks for the offer, and yes you are correct. To a Scot, free=good price.

      I've actually got a couple spare in my bits box, but one's a ball mouse which I refuse to use again, and the other has a sticking left button. Don't know why I keep them really.

      Delete
    4. I've only just tidied out my bits box. Finally built up the courage to throw away cables and accessories for devices I haven't owned for 15 years... I still kept loads of stuff like 40GB hard drives "in case".

      Delete
  4. Crickey that should be in a museum - luckily a new one will not cost anywhere near as much ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 13 years isn't that much. As I told patience_Crabstick, I was kind of hoping forever, but I suppose all good things come to an end. I've spotted a new laser mouse for about $30, so I suppose that'll do, unless I buy myself a trackball.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Thanks, I'm trying to work up an inscription for the gravestone.
      Maybe "Squeak in Peace"
      or
      "Click in Heaven my Old Friend"
      or
      "Scroll in Silence For All Eternity Old Friend"

      Or I'll just throw the useless thing in the bin.

      Delete
  6. My God, I can't believe you paid £80 for it back then! Mouses, like so many other electronic items have fallen in price drastically over the years. I have a super duper wireless one now which only cost £10. One change for the better. Are you going to bury it under a tree in your gardenand whisper sweet sorrows over its grave? Sorry for your loss.
    Di
    X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a tad expensive back then, but I fell in love with the silky motion, the positive button feel, the sensuous curves and especialy th red light glowing on the bottom.

      I've always been fascinated by red light areas.

      In answer to your last question, it's going in the dustbin as soon as I get the replacement. There's no room for silly sentimentality in the modern 21st century. Just ask Cameron and his bunch of oiks,

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Morning Richard, I'm sorry to hear that. Too much violining?

      Delete
  8. I use a laptop, but I do like mice. The crabbed, careful way you have to compose your fingers on a touchpad isn't one of the pleasures of using a computer. Get a wireless one maybe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dislike about laptops isn't based just on toughpads, it's the keys being too close together, the lack of a number pad, the delete key in the wrong bloody place and the screen's too small. Plus of course the power always runs out just as you want it, and the complete battery/power pack needs relpaced every 3 years.

      Not too sure about wireless, YONKS mentioned that as well. I'm not too sure about latency and battery life.

      Delete
  9. Oh bloody hell--just went to post a comment, pressed on Publish, and it said 503 serive unavailable. I'm the wrong side of a drunken (and other refreshments) and I can't be arsed writing out my inanities again.

    Right let's see if this goes through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AH, the scourge of inhibited neurotransmitter production.

      It's OK looby, we still love you. just don't do it again.

      Delete
  10. I'd say you got your £80 worth! Did you know that Apple makes products that are designed to be replaced -- not repaired? It's not just that Microsoft logo that's fading. Old world craftsmanship is fading, as well. You should give it a proper burial.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no, no. Sorry TUB, it's just that I expect everything to carry on for all eternity. I'm still using the same printer I bought 15 years ago, and it still works perfectly, AND it's ink cartridges cost about half of the modern ones.

      You've just made me think...repair. I could always superglue a new microswitch onto the mouse shell...let me check my box of bits and odds and sods.

      If I can't repair it, a proper burial is out of the question, although I might put a sticker saying R.I.P. on the black bag. I'm not completely unsentimental, regardless of what I said in my reply to YONKS.

      Delete
  11. No, I need to do more violining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, when I first read that, I thought it said "do more vomiting". By all means carry on with the bowing.

      Delete
  12. UPDATE
    I've just discovered that I can get the right mouse button to work.

    I just have to hit it with a hammer or mallet.
    So I'm sitting here, mouse in right hand and a mallet posied on my left, problem solved, and NO COST INVOLVED!!!

    BUGGER, now I don't have a hand to type with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can also do this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retr0bright) to get rid of the aged yellow colour, and make it feel like new. If you really are going with the mallet solution. I'd personally go with a ball peen hammer for accuracy.

      Delete
  13. I love my trackball mouse which I have had for a paltry 6 years or so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always thought about getting one, but it just seems a bit too geeky for me.

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. I've got a Mac. I use it to prop up a wonky table leg.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, they're so versatile - you could never do that with a big clunky piece of microsoft operated crap.

      Delete
    3. Actually I've also got a Mac laptop, but I gave it to my son for his music publishing. Mind you he runs Windows®7 on bootcamp to get anything done.

      Delete
  15. So, in computing terms is the plural mice or mouses? I've always wondered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The proper usage is "mice", sometimes mouses when ladies are talking, but never meeces, mooses, nor that pointy moving thing.

      Delete
  16. I scored a laser mouse a year or so ago from a school I was working at. It'd stopped working, and it was easier to replace it rather than fix it. I did that, but the techie suggested I take the defective one home and try a vacuum cleaner on it. So I did that too, and lo! - it worked fine.

    It instantly replaced the last of a series of gunged-up ball mice/mouses I'd struggled with for years. It's worked fine ever since, and every now and then I apply a vacuum cleaner to the red light part (don't get excited) to keep it happy.

    I was impressed by your obsessive care of Mr Mouse in your earlier comment, but I think you may have been misguided. I suggest that in addition to your expertise in darning you should also try vacuuming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which school I wonder?

      Have you heard that Ross is coming back, starting next week?

      I was being ironic about the mouse care package, sorry, I'll try and make it clearer next time.

      Are you available next week? or is the skiing too attractive.

      I think we're short a SOS teacher.

      I say think because NO B*GGER HAS ACTUALLY TOLD ME...YET.

      Delete
    2. Ross is coming back? Is Ange coming back too? Hey TSB - any Relief Teacher is an SOS
      teacher and any teacher with life experience can teach SOS. At least our generation knows
      where places and countries are on the map, atlas or globe, unlike most of our charges these days as I have recently discovered to my horror. (Where is Scotland Miss? - true!).

      Delete
    3. Ross is going to be teaching Maths, but I don't think Angela will be returning.

      All I know about SOS teaching is giving the kids plenty of maps to colour in.

      Delete
  17. Too vague TSB. Not coming back to NZ or NLHS? BTW Amy is coming back from Thailand very soon. Heard so from her hubby's nephew who I taught last term. Another wanderer returns home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vague?
      Vague?

      I've been accused of many things in my terribly twisted nad turbulent teaching tenure, but never f/cking vague.

      Do I call a spade a f*cking digging implement?
      Do I call a Year 13 girl dressed in bra, suspenders and crotchless knickers a Tart? or do I call her a lady of negotiable virtue?
      Do I call Ringo an ignorant peddler of pointless pedagogy, or a dick?

      Vague is not my scene VG.

      BTW Ang is (I believe) coming back to godzone, but not NLHS.

      Is Amy bringing her toyboy?

      Delete
  18. Fair enough! Sorry for rattling your sporran. Don't know anything about Amy having a toyboy. Not our pure and wholesome lovely Amy. She's way too young to be a Cougar anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  19. another tail of mice and men......!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Excuse me Mr, but long time no blog. Or have you moved somewhere else to avoid Ringo's spies?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, I've been a bit preoccupied. I'll be explaining later.

      Delete
  21. That's amazing and a good advert for MS. In comparison, just got an I-phone and photo part of it just stopped working and took two and half hours of waiting to get another one (which was also defective). The guy at the store says they test them all and one in ten are defective. Lovely

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just can't beat Chinese Quality Control.

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Site Meter