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Sunday 28 October 2012

A Really Odd Three Weeks

You cannot get much odder than this

First of all, I'm sorry for the long delay in posting, but I'll try and explain why.

It started 3 weeks ago when we were released from the Hell-on-Earth known as Nuova Lazio High School.

Free at last

The feeling of freedom was so euphoric that I was floating on such a cloud of good-feeling and positiveness that I couldn't bring myself to write anything deeply cynical as is my usual style, and my Beloved had a little list of jobs she wanted me to do. Add in m'son who hogged the computer almost non-stop and I hope you will see why I couldn't really post or even read and comment on all my blogging friends.
You want me to do HOW MANY jobs?

The my beloved flew of to the UK to be with my daughter when she gave birth to my granddaughter, with an expected date in the first week of November.

So for a glorious 5 days I was on holiday from NLHS AND having a little break from my beloved's demands.

I admit it.

I went a bit mad.

Eating forbidden fruits (well not really fruits, more steak, pate, butter, vino and even spam), lying in bed until the early afternoon, reading books when I wanted, watching the TV programs I chose, and having little naps whenever I felt tired.
Forbidden (normally)

Then it was back to NLHS and the glorious time we all had when ERO (The school inspectors) were poking into everything and observing us teach.  Plus Ringo, in his usual disorganised way had me do an extra audit of our careers department, at the same time as the ERO inspectors.  In my humble opinion, it was completely f*cking insane, but as they said in the Wehrmacht, orders are orders.  (I know they actually said "Befehl ist Befehl" but most Kiwis don't speak German, and I try to be helpful when I can.  I'm that kind of person.) (What they also said was do this or get shot, which is more of the way Ringo's mind works)

When you add on all of the extra jobs I now had to do, like washing, drying, folding and putting away the clothes, making the meals, keeping the house tidy, I had very little spare time, and the call of the unfinished books was stronger than the will to blog, especially when I added a couple of glasses of Cabernet Merlot to the mix.  I was as busy as a one armed (pissed) paper hanger.

He wasn't as busy as me.

I was so busy, I almost advertised for a housekeeper to give me a hand, but I resisted the temptation.
I don't think my Beloved would understand.



Then my daughter was rushed into hospital with the symptoms of pre-eclampsia. My beloved had forgotten her charger for her mobile phone, and I was only getting very occasional texts describing what was happening, and I was worried sick.

Then we heard (unofficially) that ERO were not very pleased with our performance and the stress level in the school went off the scale.

We were under more stress that the supporting straps of this lovely young ladies bra.

My mind was on other things, and although I did feel a bit guilty about leaving all my blogging friends in Limbo, I just couldn't bring myself to complete a post.  3 or 4 times I started, but my heart wasn't in it, and I have my standards, and I refuse to put out a half arsed attempt.

Then I got a text from my Beloved saying my wee daughter was being induced in an hour.


THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 12 BLOODY HOURS.

My stomach was in knots.  I tried phoning the hospital in Dundee (Scotland) to find out what was happening, but the midwife wouldn't tell me anything, because I was no longer my daughter's next-of-kin, that position now being taken by her husband.

I felt absolutely helpless.

The a text.

She's in labour.


THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 12 BLOODY HOURS.

I cannot describe the joy and relief that swept over me when at 7 in the evening I got the text:
"Sophia Jade born 05:27, weight 7lb 11ozs"

Hallebloodylujah, I was a grandfather (Koro in Maori)

The I got another text.  Daughter went into shock, lost 2 litres of blood, will let you know.



THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 14 BLOODY HOURS.

I should add that I was getting texts from 3 different phones that my beloved had managed to get hold of, so I was never sure who was calling.  I was still getting texts from teachers who were going off sick and needed relief, and every text caused my heart to skip a beat.

At last I got the message (at 8:00 am NZ time) that all was well, and that there was no more cause for concern.  I hadn't slept well that night and wasn't at my best at school that day.

Sorry kids, but I really don't give a f*ck, so shut up and let me sleep.


But all's well now.  I finally got some photos from the UK, and we managed to Skype last night, so I've seen my lovely wee granddaughter and my brave wee daughter, plus of course a Beloved who is so proud and happy.

Welcome to this world Sophia Jade.
Don't blame me for the bloody awful state it's in.


I'll try to get back to my usual twisted and deeply cynical posts next week, but at the moment, I'm just to damned happy.

Have a lovely day. 

I am.

See my proud Beloved.  Is that a hint of moisture in her eyes perchance?

63 comments:

  1. So happy that everything's (now) well--congratulations on Sophia Jade!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks fishducky, I'm as happy as I can be. Which isn't usual.

      Delete
  2. Congratulations to you all on the early but safe arrival of your precious and most beautiful grand daughter. She is absolutely perfect. A tense time for you all and so good that Mrs T could be there on hand. I am sure it was a great comfort to know she was there, and for your daughter too.
    How wonderful! I was wondering if the wee one had made am early entrance. Shame about all the other crap going down at work. Why were ERO so displeased? The last visit went fine.

    Anyways, congratulations new Granddad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks VG, it was a tense time, but great now.

      Things have changed quite a bit at NLHS, mostly because of the hugely negative influences of Ringo and Pompous.

      Delete
    2. Oh dear that's no good. Sounds like the Cold War. Why can't they just leave their sandpit politics, drama queen tanties and narcisstic egos to the teens at NLHS. After all that's what teens are about. Not middle aged professionals!(choke).

      It must be hard to admire your first grandchild from such a long distance. I bet you can't wait to give her your first cuddle.
      Can't get over how lovley she looks. Was it a ceasarian delivery in the end?

      Delete
  3. Glad everything turned out well. Congratulations Grandpa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Alistair, I've still got to catch up on all my favourite blogs, including yours of course.

      Delete
  4. Good tidings to the new family member!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congratulations Granddad! Sophia Jade is beautiful and perfect! It was a perfectly awful time for you but I'm so glad your daughter and grand daughter made it safe and sound.

    I suspect there was a wee bit of moisture in the lovely Mrs. TSB's eye!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jacquelineand...I agree she's gorgeous. Thankfully all's well that ends well. There was a wee bit of water in my eyes as well. Must be the pollen here in Silverstream.

      Delete
  6. What a delightful human cub! Excellent birth weight and I'm sure grandma will make sure she receives a proper primate diet with plenty of green vegetables and no friend Mars bars. (That housekeeping picture looks familiar - I remember my sitemeter telling me that someone was copying-and-pasting it.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Gorilla Bananas. I think that they'll keep her on milk for a wee while longer, before they start on celery and deep fried Mars bars.

      It's possible that I used that picture before.

      Delete
  7. "lying in bed until the early afternoon, reading books when I wanted, watching the TV programs I chose, and having little naps whenever I felt tired."....you decadent bastard you...
    Very happy to hear your news and most of all that everyone's well. Cheers grand dad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Decadence is nice. It's also nice being a Grand Dad. Thanks.

      Delete
  8. You made me tear up then TSB. What a dreadful time for you. It's often the worst position to be in, the one of ignorance, as then imagination steps in and we never imagine the best! What an awful few hours for you all but gladly, alls well that ends well and little Sophia looks adorable? Will you get a chance soon to meet her in the flesh?

    Fuck school!
    Di
    Xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're correct; it was the not-knowing that was the worst. We plan to bring them all over to NZ early next year, so they can enjoy our summer.

      I thoroughly agree with your final sentiment.

      Delete
    2. Sometimes I can't help my potty mouth. Ok, quite often actually.
      We are off to Bonnie Scotland again on 8th December. I have the calling to go back to the Heelands! How can you live without it?
      Di
      xxxx

      Delete
  9. See, that's what years of army training, management courses, sales seminarss etc have set you up for.
    To be absolutely bloody terrified at times of crisis!
    Oh, also teaching high school kids but I imagine that role means you can handle anything.
    A great result, pleased to hear that everything turned out well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fear strikes unexpectedly, but you are correct, the years of teaching kids have made me a wee bit resilient.

      Thanks, I'm still happy; feels really strange.

      Delete
  10. I thought you'd gone a bit quiet but I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to disturn your peace and quiet sans your Beloved. Little did I know what an eventful time it was! Congrats to all involved -- I'm sure it deserved a couple of large glasses of the water of life.

    The bit about yet another fecking inspection reminded me of a couple of sentences in a book I read for my MA: "The logic of audit means that auditing itself comes to be audited; the phenomenon is recursive and self-reinforcing. The only thing that cannot be queried is the rationality of audit itself. Auditing claims to deliver an ideal of transparency in organisations; yet the audit process itself is opaque, closed to scrutiny."

    Yonks puts it better in her last bit though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks looby, it certainly was eventful and I did celebrate with a wee dram.

      The inspectors are spending most of their time checking the audits, so it's mostly as you said, an audit of an audit. Kafka strikes again. Yonks has a way with words.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Morning Richard, and thanks. Sorry to hear about Uncle Ian.

      Delete
  12. Wonderful news...eventually, after what must have been such a stressful time or all. And isn't she a little beauty!

    My cousin had a baby girl in Kelso a couple of weeks ago. So they're virtually neighbours, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Trish, it was a wee bit stressfull, but it was definitely worth it in the end.

      Kelso? It's a wee bit far away, about 102 miles.

      Congrats to your cousin.

      Delete
  13. I was getting worried about you. Congratulations, Grandpapa!!!! She's absolutely beautiful. You all must be over the moon. Welcome, little Sophia. Ha! You and Greg Lake became grandfathers together. :) I'm tearing up here. All the best, TSB!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was getting worried as well, but thank you, I'm a very proud Granda (Koro). I think she's beautiful, but I'm a tad biased.

      I still see your burning the Greg lake torch.


      PS I was a wee bit tearful at the time.

      Delete
  14. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful granddaughter! I'm sorry the birth was so stressful and I'm glad everybody is healthy now. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. You were correct to lie low. We're only interested in your cynicism. Spare us your happiness.

    Fried Spam + fried eggs = heaven. Simple math.

    My wife had per-eclampsia. It's cure is bead rest. Nothing fatal.

    Never force a post. It'll suck all the joy out of blogging.

    What a horrible wild ride! 10,000 congrats. Glad all is well. Glad you're a gramps. Was just kidding about sparing us your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your interest in my dark, twisted cynicism. Happiness is a rather strange and almost foreign emotion to me.

      I like dipping my spam slices in batter and making spam fritters, fried eggs and chips (french fries).

      Pre-eclampsia can be nasty if it's not spotted, especially when the blood pressure spikes dangerously, but I agree, it's not too bad.

      Thanks, it's nice being a gramps, even a grumpy gramps.

      I thought you might just be kidding.

      Delete
  16. I'm the first to point out an ugly baby. But that baby ain't ugly. She is gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Thenext Genny, I feel she's gorgeous as well.

      Delete
  17. I liked the way you put brackets around (Scotland):)
    Fabulous news though-well done!
    BTW was biting my nails with the mention of Pre Eclampsia-do you get Downton Abbey over there??Shudder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, I put it in just in case some of my more geograhically-challenged readers got confused.

      I used to work as a Biochemist in a maternity hospital in Scitland, and the news of the pre-eclampsia scared the sh*t out of me. We do get Downton Abbey down here (just starting series 3)but I've never watched it.

      Delete
  18. Oh Sophia Jade is an absolute doll - and your wife looks so happy and lovely. Welcome to the world little one. Does she know she's in a blog post with muffins wrongly displayed and women cavorting with hoovers? I've said this before and I'll say it again - where in the heck do you find these photos - do you google one armed pissed painter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks ALW, I think she's beautiful, but as I've said, I'm a wee bit biased.

      My Beloved looks so happy, which makes me happy as well, for a variety of reasons.

      What's wrong with the muffins?
      I think they look quite tasty. The hoover pic I copied from Gorilla banana's blog. The image stuck in my mind for some reason.

      I just use appropriate words in Google Image search, the trick is in using the correct keywords. If I remember the search string I used was "One Arm Painter".

      Believe it or not, the muffin pic popped up when I used the search string "Odd" but then you have to look quickly through all the pages produced to pick the most appropriate.

      PS.. I still think you look ravishing in the blue dress.

      Delete
    2. Ok, I just have to say .... how exactly does the muffin photo qualify as "pick the most appropriate" pic to use in your post? Just saying .... gotta go with ALW here and ask about your 'googling skills' my friend - ha!

      Delete
    3. All I can say is that I've got a slightly twisted outlook on life.

      It's fun.

      Delete
  19. Indeed was wondering what happened to you! But holy f'ning crap ... you've been through the wringer! The misses looks pretty damned happy to be on the other side of that - and no doubt you are. Now I expect your usual cynical side as of next week - but until then I say a good english breakfast, plenty of Merlot for as long as you can mate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been odd. All of my normal routines are shot to hell. I did have a good Scottish breakfast and much, much vino...it helps.

      Delete
    2. Vino always helps, in IMHO!! but then ... well I just like vino

      Delete
  20. Yes Happy Birthday TSB. The Big one? Congratulations. I guesss little Sohpia's arrival was an early and appropriate birthday present. Hope all is goign well for all of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Things are going pretty well, but my normal routine has gone, and for some reason I'm finding that I've got no time to post...I'll try again later.

      Delete
  21. I too have not been blogging as often as I'd like, but my reasons are entirely trivial unlike yours.
    Remember, cynicism is like a friend you've loaned money to; it doesn't stay away for long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynicism is my friend, it protects me from the cruel wolrd sitting out there in reality.

      Delete
  22. How's it going Grandad? Now you are a Golden Boy are you too tired too blog these days?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was always a golden boy, just no time at the moment..washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning and even teaching.

      Oh yes, I forgot to add timetabling as well.

      Delete
  23. Where the hell are you TSB. Is your beloved back? Are you behaving yourself? So many questions
    Di
    X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry for the delay in answering, but I've been so busy you wouldn't believe it.

      Delete
  24. I'm so sick of looking at those Hot Mormon Muffins.

    Can you please do a new post even if it is brief, just to change to picture...please.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This Grandad business is obviously taking it out of the poor lad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks looby, it's not just the Grandad (Koro) it's everything else that's been going on.

      Delete
  26. oh congratulations TSB!!!!!! You will be an amazing grandad to this little scrap! And no wonder that you didn't feel like blogging - most of us go through a lean time, but it's never such a STRESSFUL lean time as you've just undergone.

    Here's to your lovely daughter and grand-daughter!

    Have a wee whisky on Hestia!!! (((hug)))

    Ali xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thanks Ali X, it's been fun, but terribly busy...see what happens next.

    ReplyDelete

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