A Really Odd Three Weeks

You cannot get much odder than this

First of all, I'm sorry for the long delay in posting, but I'll try and explain why.

It started 3 weeks ago when we were released from the Hell-on-Earth known as Nuova Lazio High School.

Free at last

The feeling of freedom was so euphoric that I was floating on such a cloud of good-feeling and positiveness that I couldn't bring myself to write anything deeply cynical as is my usual style, and my Beloved had a little list of jobs she wanted me to do. Add in m'son who hogged the computer almost non-stop and I hope you will see why I couldn't really post or even read and comment on all my blogging friends.

You want me to do HOW MANY jobs?

The my beloved flew of to the UK to be with my daughter when she gave birth to my granddaughter, with an expected date in the first week of November.

So for a glorious 5 days I was on holiday from NLHS AND having a little break from my beloved's demands.

I admit it.

I went a bit mad.

Eating forbidden fruits (well not really fruits, more steak, pate, butter, vino and even spam), lying in bed until the early afternoon, reading books when I wanted, watching the TV programs I chose, and having little naps whenever I felt tired.

Forbidden (normally)

Then it was back to NLHS and the glorious time we all had when ERO (The school inspectors) were poking into everything and observing us teach.  Plus Ringo, in his usual disorganised way had me do an extra audit of our careers department, at the same time as the ERO inspectors.  In my humble opinion, it was completely f*cking insane, but as they said in the Wehrmacht, orders are orders.  (I know they actually said "Befehl ist Befehl" but most Kiwis don't speak German, and I try to be helpful when I can.  I'm that kind of person.) (What they also said was do this or get shot, which is more of the way Ringo's mind works)

When you add on all of the extra jobs I now had to do, like washing, drying, folding and putting away the clothes, making the meals, keeping the house tidy, I had very little spare time, and the call of the unfinished books was stronger than the will to blog, especially when I added a couple of glasses of Cabernet Merlot to the mix.  I was as busy as a one armed (pissed) paper hanger.

He wasn't as busy as me.

I was so busy, I almost advertised for a housekeeper to give me a hand, but I resisted the temptation.
I don't think my Beloved would understand.

Then my daughter was rushed into hospital with the symptoms of pre-eclampsia. My beloved had forgotten her charger for her mobile phone, and I was only getting very occasional texts describing what was happening, and I was worried sick.

Then we heard (unofficially) that ERO were not very pleased with our performance and the stress level in the school went off the scale.

We were under more stress that the supporting straps of this lovely young ladies bra.

My mind was on other things, and although I did feel a bit guilty about leaving all my blogging friends in Limbo, I just couldn't bring myself to complete a post.  3 or 4 times I started, but my heart wasn't in it, and I have my standards, and I refuse to put out a half arsed attempt.

Then I got a text from my Beloved saying my wee daughter was being induced in an hour.

THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 12 BLOODY HOURS.

My stomach was in knots.  I tried phoning the hospital in Dundee (Scotland) to find out what was happening, but the midwife wouldn't tell me anything, because I was no longer my daughter's next-of-kin, that position now being taken by her husband.

I felt absolutely helpless.

The a text.

She's in labour.

THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 12 BLOODY HOURS.

I cannot describe the joy and relief that swept over me when at 7 in the evening I got the text:
"Sophia Jade born 05:27, weight 7lb 11ozs"

Hallebloodylujah, I was a grandfather (Koro in Maori)

The I got another text.  Daughter went into shock, lost 2 litres of blood, will let you know.

THEN BUGGER ALL FOR 14 BLOODY HOURS.

I should add that I was getting texts from 3 different phones that my beloved had managed to get hold of, so I was never sure who was calling.  I was still getting texts from teachers who were going off sick and needed relief, and every text caused my heart to skip a beat.

At last I got the message (at 8:00 am NZ time) that all was well, and that there was no more cause for concern.  I hadn't slept well that night and wasn't at my best at school that day.

Sorry kids, but I really don't give a f*ck, so shut up and let me sleep.

But all's well now.  I finally got some photos from the UK, and we managed to Skype last night, so I've seen my lovely wee granddaughter and my brave wee daughter, plus of course a Beloved who is so proud and happy.

Welcome to this world Sophia Jade.
Don't blame me for the bloody awful state it's in.

I'll try to get back to my usual twisted and deeply cynical posts next week, but at the moment, I'm just to damned happy.

Have a lovely day. 

I am.

See my proud Beloved.  Is that a hint of moisture in her eyes perchance?