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Saturday, 5 February 2011

The Feminization of Men

Wow, big title.
But it's true.  Societal pressures are changing.  Men are no longer encouraged to demonstrate what comes naturally to us.
We can't:

  • Thump our mates
  • Stare at women's lovely bits
  • Swear when we bash our thumb with a bloody hammer
  • Drink beer in public
  • Fart
  • Stop shaving
  • Look in hardware shop windows

without being reprimanded by women, and being forced into unnatural behaviour (for men)

What triggered off this thread of thought?

Floral fragrance in the Gent's Toilets in Nuova Lazio High School.
Someone had installed an automatic dispensing system on the wall in the Gents.  Our toilets were filled with a particularly nauseating aroma of what I can only describe as rotting lavender.  When this stench mixes with the usual and freshly generated smells in this room (fart gas, stale urine, sweaty socks from the runners and cyclists [it doubles as a shower and changing room], the poisonous miasma which emanates from S****'s arse, and cannot really be categorised as fart gas as it's more on the lines of a Binary Nerve Agent and should be banned under the Geneva Convention as it produces instant retching on exposure and a slow discolouring of the aluminium window frames) it produces a smell which can only be described as Uuuurrrgggghhhh; spppeewww. (Sorry for being a bit onomatopoeic here)

Essential equipment for using Loo after S****s been in

Why couldn't they just leave it alone?

Admittedly, the photocopier and staffroom phone are just outside the door, and I have noticed some of our younger lady teachers, and some males of a more "delicate" persuasion running away when the loo door is opened, but they need to toughen up.  How are they going to manage with the pupils for goodness sake, if they get nauseated by a diluted whiff of S****'s toxic effluvium.

Most guys have always wondered what the Ladies toilets are like inside.  Do you have flower arrangements? delicate silken towels for your sensitive skins? Little tables with floral tablecloths and bowls of potpourri and aromatic cachous?

Well I don't care.

Keep your floral smells out of the Gents.
Beer, Sweat, Pee and Poo were good enough for our grandfathers, and it's good enough for us.  We survived Long Drops for goodness sake, and we are quite happy to keep on surviving in our normal smelly way.

If, however, someone could persuade S**** to "keep it in" until he gets home, it would be much appreciated.


  1. You're mixing with the wrong kind of woman. Tertarus does all of these things in your list and the only one that he will get a cuff around the back of the head for is oggling ladies bits.

    Like a well-trained wild animal, he keeps his eyes averted.

    Your loo freshner sounds particularly boak-worthy. I get a bit like that with grapefruit air frershner. YEUK!

    You have never lived, though, until you have been to a party and watched a group of men pass around pot-pourri and politely nibble at the contents. Priceless!

    Ali x

  2. I think your rant is a bit OTT there mister. You are merely complaining that one bad smell has been replaced by another and you feel your masculinity is being attacked bacause of this?

    The Women's toilets at that particular establishment are right outside the DP's offices so you need to walk pass the kids on the naughty bench (who often take note of the time you are in there and sometimes comment about it on your way out). There are kids who hang out just outside the window who hear and giggle at you whizzing. Some daring girls even decide the toilets are for them too and march on in. To top it off half the toilet area has been boarded off to be used as a storage cupboard so there is no room for bikes or lockers or anything else. There is nothing frilly in sight. I've been in the Men's - they are far superior.

    So, well, all I have to say is... MAN UP, build a bridge and get over it.

    Other than that I liked your post :)

  3. Ali: Are you saying my beloved is a "wrong type of woman"?
    Shame on you.
    Actually though you're right, and i too have been trained not to ogle, though like most blokes, the minute we cease noticing "ladies bits" we're probably deceased.
    I've never seen a group of men pass around some potpourri, but I have seen one greedy bugger (male) grab a large handful and stuff it in his gob. It was a home-made version, and seeing his face when he started to crunch a particularly large and strong star anise was amusing to say the least.

    Mind you to be fair, and to keep a balance between the sexes, have you ever seen a woman trying to start a 2 stroke lawn-mower with the pull-cord. Especially when you know the fuel tank's empty?...Priceless

  4. Nicola; of course the rant is OTT. I'm a bloke, we're supposed to rant OTT, it's our main purpose in life. I've not been completely de-bollocked yet, so I've still some spirit left (Are your reading this Tertarus?)
    I'm not complaing about the smell really, I'm complaining about change.
    I don't like change.

    I think I'd be happy if everything went back to the 1950s.

  5. Nicola, I know that women's toilets are a mystery to men but why do you need to have a bike in there?

  6. Just a minute.
    Nicola said :"I've been in the Men's - they are far superior."

    Who with?
    Has this been reported to the NZTC?

  7. As a toilet cleaner I can go in any toilets I want.
    Believe me, women's toilets are always the smelliest and dirtiest and they always have those horrible lavender sprays, and throw toilet rolls around. They even need special containers for their pads!
    Men are clean. Quick pee. No mess.


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