For blogs with less than 300 Followers

For blogs with less than 300 Followers
Thanks to Hestia's Larder for this delightful award.
(For Blogs with less than 300 Followers)

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Curiosity and Perversion

I've always been insatiably curious.

Even as a young lad, I wanted to know...everything.

When I was told at church to have faith, I asked the forbidden word WHY?
and the quickly followed by WHO?
and WHAT?

and lastly WTF?

I've only been in a church since then for compulsory visits for funerals and weddings.

But lately my attention has been focused on a strange lady.

I do not of course refer to my Beloved.  I will agree she can be strange at times, but she is mostly as level-headed as any lady married to me can be.

I refer to The Lady of the Dairy.

Every morning when I drive into Nuova Lazio High School, I stop at the dairy (New Zealand patois for a small local store) to top up my store of lollies (candies/sweeties) used as bribes for the year 10s, and the occasional small cigar, a la mode de Horace Rumpole, used as an essential stimulant for me.

Every morning as I go into the store I say hello to the Lady of the Dairy.

She is usually sitting on a folded blanket, drinking a V energy drink, and smoking a cigarette.

As I usually arrive at 7:25 ± 5 minutes, it is unusual to see other people about, and I've developed a curiosity about the Lady of the Dairy.

She always wears gumboots (Wellington boots/Galoshes/Rubber Boots for the non-Kiwis).  She either walks, or she has a small motorised scooter, or occasionally a rather bedraggled car of indeterminate model, make and year.

She always says hello as I pass, and I return the compliment.

But what is she doing?

It's in the middle of our NZ winter, and morning temperatures in Nuova Lazio are hovering about 5º-7ºC, so most sensible people are either home in a nice warm bed, home in a nice warm partner, or having the misfortune to be heading of to work, so WTF is she doing?

Richard (of RBB) NOT in bliss.

Over the last year, I've built up a range of possibilities.
  1. She's a drug dealer, who is waiting for our schoolchildren to arrive for their morning fix of lollies before summoning up the courage to enter the hell known as NLHS.
  2. She's an alien vampire waiting for every second Wednesday when Ringo does his morning duty at the dairy, so she can meet a like-minded monster.
  3. She's a poor lonely soul who likes freezing her bum on the cold concrete, just to get a little bit of human contact.
  4. She's a complete nutter.
  5. She's a contract killer waiting to make the "hit" on TSB, contacted by Ringo, but not aware that TSB who passes her every day, is the "mark"
  6. She's a poor lost soul, made pregnant by a teacher at NLHS, and being promised undying love by the bastard of a pedagogue, is waiting to meet him, regardless of the miscarriage she had to endure.  She keeps a copy of the image of a scan she had at 20 weeks before the loss, and in another pocket, she keeps the freeze-dried remains of the insufficient placenta, intending to throw it over the head of the bastard, before she cuts his throat, and then her own.  She needs peace.
  7. She's an undercover cop, watching which kids of NLHS are buying tobacco from the completely uncaring owner of the dairy, who, hailing from the Indian subcontinent, thinks that any laws in NZ do not apply to him, including the one about selling tobacco or alcohol to underage youths, or beating his wife and daughter.
  8. She's a new teacher assigned to NLHS who has never raised the courage to actually pass through the razor-wire festooned gates, nor the deactivated minefield surrounding the "school"
I await every morning with baited breath, hoping against hope that some sort of clue will present itself. 

For instance, last week, I was sure I had spotted the stock of a Mossberg 590 tactical shotgun, which I was sure indicated that number 5 was in fact correct, but on closer examination, it was actually a large piece of biltong, which she gnawed on at odd intervals.  Re-setting the safety on my own Glock 37
 (I prefer the .45 cartridge, it has much more stopping power) I passed by her again into the dairy to pick up my order of pineapple lumps for my class of elective SSR.  On the way out, she was still sitting there, puffing on her fag, and staring meditatively into space, her slightly dirty beanie raked over one eye and a can of V resting on her knee.

What is she doing?

I just don't know, but the tension of unknowing is slowly ratcheting upwards.  Keep watching the news.

Speaking of the news, we had a rather unsavoury incident in NLHS last week.

One of our so-called teachers succumbed to the perils of excess testosterone, and got involved in a rather intimate way with one of our year 13 girls.

The girl in question is rather vulnerable, having had some terrible experiences in previous years, and the teacher involved should really have known better.  He has let a lot of people down, some extremely badly, and the future does not bode well for him, as we have to report him to the NZTC for inappropriate behaviour.

Speaking objectively, I hope they castrate him with a blunt knife.  I know that some staff will give him some support, and that Richard (of RBB) wants to help him, but what he's done is completely beyond the pale.
THAT's the way to do it.

Parents send their beloved children to school in the understanding that the teachers will act towards their lovely children as the parents would.  As in loco parentis. So betraying that trust, and the trust the kids have in us is completely reprehensible, and there is really no excuse.

I act towards every girl in all of my classes as I would act towards my daughter, regardless of any incipient attraction.  To do otherwise is a complete betrayal of every canon of accepted behaviour.


Apart from that, nothing much happened in NLHS.

I told you it was hardly worth writing about last week.

May you all live in Peace and Love...

 (except from that little evil Hobbit bastard who should be quite honestly going to Aussie and teaching in a mining school in Perth, where the irate miners on discovering his past record will rip the little sod limb from limb)

BTW, One of the scariest websites I've ever seen, discovered while doing some research on that cult known as "christianity" can be viewed here.Christian Gun Site.


  1. Maybe the strange lady is there to assasinate the asshat teacher for soiling young girls. Maybe she's like a shoji, but a NZ version.
    Would serve the asshat right.


    1. Hi PolishSPring, thanks for leaving a comment.

      Which asshat teacher?

      The one who despoils young girls
      or Ringo.

      A shoji? *googles quickly*
      WTF? A room divider?

      Sorry, PolishSpring, there seems to be some sort of communication failure. I don't think a room divider is what the bastard need. A loin divider perhaps, but not a room divider.

  2. Oi, dont be sending your trash over here mate! In any case we can find MUCH more inhospitable places than Perth. Perth is a very beautiful city a bit like Auckland.
    I'm thinking the simplest scenario is probably the most likely. (this is a rule I live by)
    In this case she is obviously a Russian spy sent there to steal the teaching styles of the countries best teachers. I cant say more, I've already said too much...

    1. Well, you're lot are recruiting everyone who can still actually breathe to get a job in Pairth.

      I like the idea of a Russianspy.
      I've never realy been seduced by a Soviet Agent, and am quite looking forward to the experience, then Auntie Twisted can remove any problems.

      Best Teachers? You're such a wit.

    2. The short story is that we have more jobs than people who can fill them. Sure we have thousands of school leavers but as you well know, kids leaving school now are bloody useless and in no way ready to work.
      A friends son got his first job at Roxby Downs Mine, worked hard for three months taking all the overtime he could then took a flight to Adelaide where he paid cash for a new a young bloke I could only dream of something like this.

  3. I don't think she's doing anything other than bringing peace to her soul. I often do it myself, except that I'm lying in a hammock and sucking a plum stone rather than sitting on a blanket and smoking. Try it yourself - you might lose some of those ants in your pants.

    1. I would like to think she's bringing peace to herself, but there is no evidence to support that. Sitting on a folded blanket on cold, hard concrete definitely doesn't even bring solace to your bum. and piles would be a definite possibility.

      My pants Sir, have no ants.

  4. I love to come up with possible backgrounds on the people I meet. You've probably made her far more interesting than she could ever imagine about herself :)

    1. Hi Trina Y, welcome, and thanks for leaving a comment.

      It is possible I've made her more interesting than she is, but I just don't know. I somehow get a feeling of deep sadnesss in the few communications we've had.

  5. "I know that some staff will give him some support, and that Richard (of RBB) wants to help him, but what he's done is completely beyond the pale."
    I actually think that what he has done has cast some doubt, in the children's eyes, over all of us and my feeling is not to want to help him - especially since he has chosen to live with the girl. It is hard at NLHS because students ask questions that we are not allowed to answer and they know we know. My feelings are really for the girl. I can't understand why her parents would kick her out - it's times like this when parents should be there to sort things out. That's the hard time to be a parent, but good parents are there at these times. I think her parents have betrayed her if they have kicked her out of home and I despise them the most, if that is indeed the case. What he has done is undefendable and I think, in years to come, he will come to realise that. He'll be making excuses for his behaviour at the moment. It is hard when someone you have worked closely with and shared things with suddenly steps over the line. No, I don't want to help him. I worry about the girl. She's the big loser. She is a vulnerable child. I hope that she can somehow get out of this mess.

    1. You're right. I didn't want to condem him too much initially, but it's hard.

      I didn't say much to any kid who'se asked, but I'm sure my feelings were clear.

    2. Oh dear this is all such a sad sorry mess.
      I thought he was married. I know he has a young family, as I have meet them. Definately a career show stopper for sure. Sadly these things do happen and have in the past in many schools. It does take two to tango as they say but yes, the teacher concerned should know better. All rather seedy really. His job will be impossible now or has he been suspended already?

    3. Has is married. Twice. With either 3 or 4 kids, not too sure about the details.

      Very seedy and so sad for the girl(s) involved.

      He resigned "with immediate effect" on Thursday.

    4. Oh dear. What a bloody waste. It is going to hurt so many people, and of course the studnents will be left wondering, so the rumours will fly. A very very similar incident happenned at our school end of last year. Hushed up by the school, but I found out via my daughter,a former student. This particular teacher was very highly respeceted and talented. He just disappeared off the face of the earth very suddenly at the end of last year. Rumour has it he has left the country, but still has a family and former partner here.

    5. Everyone's waitng for the next dread instalment.

      We just hope he doesn't take the "honourable way out".

  6. Two thoughts spring to mind
    (1) She's at the dairy every morning, could she possibly be the dairy owner?? Maybe, in your enthusiasm to get to the chalkface, you are not really focussing. Does she take your money and say "Thank you very much, come again"?
    (2) They breed them tough in NL. In other parts of the region no thinking teacher ever reward with an edible treat because 93% of children are allergic to eggs/lactose/peanuts/treenuts/colourings/gluten/life and would immediately lie gasping at on the ground while the epipen is brought from their individualised medical emergency kit. And if they injure themselves in the fall they are probably the very same ones who are allergic to the adhesive in sticking plasters.

    1. Nope, she's definitely not the owner of the dairy. I asked the owner if she knew much about her, and he just shrugged.

      HaHaHa; our kids are very tough. I did offer alternative treats (bribes) to the kids, like raisins or carrot sticks, but such food was regarded with contempt. They want sugar and vividly coloured lollies.

  7. Sounds really obvious, but did you ever think to ask her what she is doing? She will then of course reply, "Waiting for the mail truck to come around to get my daily lift into work, milking the cows (hence the gumboots). Or possibly something similar. (But I know you would not do anything as boring as asking her, really. )

    1. Ah, Jenny, you know me too well. I didn't want to ask the obvious because:
      a) I might get an answer I wouldn't like (as in "I'm waiting for you, Big Boy")
      b) Even asking the question establishes a level of connection I'm not sure I want to exist.
      c) She might go for me with the large bottle of energy drink she's always carrying.

      Waht also confuses me is the number of methods of transport she utilises.

  8. Maybe that spot in front of the dairy is a good place to collect handouts, from people who've just been given some small change? If that's the case, I'm surprised the owners don't ask her to move along.

    1. Good idea, but I don't think so. She's never asked me for any cash and she doesn't have a hat pr anything to hold loose change in front of her.

      She's not breaking any laws, and in NZ, you have to get the police to issue a trespass order, and they won't, because she hasn't done anything illegal. As far as I know, she even picks up her rubbish!

  9. I'm surprised TSB that you are still allowed to bribe /reward your studnets with lollies. I used them extensively in my first year of teaching. Worked extremely well. THen at the the end of the year the Senior Mangement told us they were banning teachers using lollies as rewards because they were unhealthy! WTF! Unhealthy to who? They took away another essential/highly successful teaching and learning strategy. SO much for support! Grr. Since then every other school I have taught at teachers use them. Bloody PC brigades. THey have obviously never studied Motivation Theories (Many were developed by Management Scientists overs 80 years ago!).

    1. If bribery works, use it. I tried the healthy option, but you don't get the same response for a carrot stick or a celery stalk as you get with a pineapple lump.

    2. Chunk! Pineapple chunk in NZ, lump in Oz! Surprised this wasn't part of the test at the border when we let you in!

    3. It depends. Rainbow confectionary makes Pineapple Chunks, and they were the first, but Pascall makes Pineapple Lumps in NZ, and exports them to Aussie.

      Maybe Valley Girl can adjudicate?

    4. Yeah Pineapple Lumps are Kiwi fodder. I even had to learn a case study about Pineapple Lumps vs The competition when I did a Commercial Law paper at uni. They are not attributable to the Ozzies at all, thoughthey will try to take credit for them just like anything else great that comes out of NZ but is also popular in Oz.

  10. Replies
    1. Thanks for being so supportive Laoch, I'll certainly remember and value your opinion.

      I'm so overcome that I'll remember it forever

    2. It is important to have interesting challenges to make your days more exciting.

  11. Oh dear oh dear. Sounds like the poor girl is leaping at any kind of affection, because of feeling unwanted and unloved. Her parents don't seem very interested.

    Going to be stuck for money now as well aren't they?

    1. It's turning into a nightmare for the poor girl. I don't want to comment anymore on the sad student, and keep heaping abuse on the bloody betraying ex-teacher.

      Yes, they are going to be completely strapped for cash, especially as he has two ex-wives and 3(?4) kids to support, with no job.

    2. Ishouldn'tcommentsowon'tsay12 August 2012 at 20:04

      According to Facebook they're engaged. And I think the "getting kicked out" was more about engineering a move in. He's digusting and she'll be pregnant soon.

    3. "she'll be pregnant soon.

      My goodness, I hope not, but you're probably correct, whoever you are, you tall dark mysterious stranger.

      But wait.

      How in hell can they be engaged when he hasn't officially left his second wife yet, or even his first...I'd heard they moved back.

      God, he is a little creep, isn't he?

    4. Well obviously he beleives in Polygamy. Would'nt be a Moromon by any chance? Wants his cake and to eat it too! Yes I'm sure the Welfare State will support them, like many others along with his harem and sprogs and the future ones. Us sucker tax payers will end up paying for this for many years to come.

    5. I have just discovered that he has removed his page of facebook. However somone has created a nasty derogatory new facebook page about him and it is full of nasty commnents from students
      present and past. This is going too far now, but indicates how the students feel about it all, and it ain't pretty. They are probably going to have to move away at this rate.

    6. The feeling amongst the students is getting worse, with some saying they've been betrayed by him. I just hope the girl goes back home.

  12. Hey TSB do you think that Dairy squatter lady could be Blanket Man's sister perhaps?

    1. Possibly, but if so, she's a lot cleaner, and suspiciously Pakeha looking. (Blonde actually)

  13. Maybe she's actually a 'he' - an ex- WWII Japanese soldier who doesn't believe the war is over and who is hiding in plain sight, studying the enemy and making plans for a dastardly attack on Ringo.

    Sorry to hear about the stushie at school. Terrible for all when a trust is broken. F'ing poor show by the kids parents though. Throwing the kid out? Shame on them.

    1. Now, that's what I call using your imagination. Well done Alistair, showing the blogging world that it takes a Scot to think outside the box. Well done.
      But absolute rubbish. By my estimate even an Imperial Japanese Soldier who joined at 14 years old, would be at least 81 years pld now, and I didn't see any sign of a zimmer or a Wakizashi.

      Yes, I do agree. The ex-teacher's actions are terrible, but the parents doesn't seem much better, but I'm holding judgement on them as I don't yet have all the facts.

      Just heard.

      Breaking news.

      RINGO'S OFF on Monday. YipeeKiyay

    2. Ishouldntcommentsowontsay12 August 2012 at 20:08

      I really don't think the parents deserve the blame. He was manipulative and she was keen to be shaped. It's really sad and horrible.

    3. I'm not usre. I don't have enough facts to really judge.

      It is however, sad and horrible as you say, regardless of blame.

  14. She's a blanket tester. We have several of them in town. Don't be alarmed.

    As for the teacher who dipped, he should be banished and sent to the desert.

    1. Well, I must admit I never thought of that. A blanket tester, My Word! You could well be right, as I've never seen her without her blanket.

      The teacher mentioned has been banished, but we don't have any real deserts in NZ, so I suppose we'll have to send him to Colorado or Nevada.

  15. Blanket Lady?

    At a guess she's your local Hunter, probably borrows the scooter from weres and carries whatever kit the town's Sanc can sell her.

    Seems to me she'd be an apprentice, still. Probably on daytime stake watching the local businesses for signs of the more business-inclined 'breed and generally keeping an eye on things.

    I'd bet money that she takes the off cases from the local PD as a way of staying in the loop, too.

    1. Thanks for a very interesting ramble Anonymous. I get the general gist of what you're saying but the details remain only vague outlines, shrouded in the mist of confusion.

      3 questions.
      1. What, who or where is Sanc?
      2. Is garlic involved?
      3. Have you sold the rights yet, it could make a great TV series.?

  16. She is most likely number 4 on your list

    1. AH, well said Furtheron, I do believe you are correct.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Site Meter