Blogger's Block

I've got Blogger's Block.

I've lost the will to live blog.

Nothing I've done or am doing is worth writing down, and nobody would want to read it anyway.

The block hit last week while I was getting my Audit observation from Ringo.

My lovely Year 10 class had just started an assessment, and thet were all working away quite quietly. I wandered around the class, making positive comments and gentle suggestions, and finally arrived beside RIngo. He was writing up the observation form and I noticed that he had written "Not Done" in the sections about Learing Intention (LI) and Success Criteria (SC).

Now I need to explain to non-teachers out there, The LI and SC are the object of the lesson and the individual students criteria for self-judgement for success. We use them frequently in most of our lessons, but not during an assessment.

So I said to Ringo:

"It's an assessment Ringo", "what's the point of using LI and SC?"

He just looked at me, then added to the LI and SC sections "No evidence observed"

Sometimes life's just not worth it.

I could actually envision the 7.62mm SLR snuggled up into my shoulder.

I could really see the sight picture superimpose itself between his beady eyes.

I could feel the kick as the 7.62mm copper-jacketed messenger of death went downrange at 823ms^-1.

The satisfaction was immense as the pink and grey spray erupted over the wall.

But I've now got Blogger's Block, so it's not worth writing about.

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I've got Blogger's Block.

I've lost the will to live blog.

Nothing I've done or am doing is worth writing down, and nobody would want to read it anyway.

One of the classes I teach is Advanced Relational Database, using an Access front end.

I've just finished two practice datbases, and I'm now half-way through the third and last practice, before the class start on the assessment.

I'm at a critical point. Explaining how a complex calculation can be easily made up by using small steps.

Complex calculation, simple (and stupid) girl

The problem is to automatically calculate a fine for an overdue library book, based on the date it was brought back, the day it was loaned out, what type of book (fiction or non-fiction) because fines are levied at different rates accoridng to type.

I'm demonstrating on the Data Projector and SmartBoard how the query is built up, the essential use of the realtionships within the database, and the SQL generated from the GUI.

Before I started, I explained to the students that if they didn’t understand what I was doing, or that they couldn’t replicate my actions on their database (They were copying my actions on their own computers) then to tell me immediately.

Furthermore, at each step, as I demonstrated and explained the query construction, I asked if anyone was having any problems.

What I actually said was “Has anyone NOT generated this answer?” “Please tell me now if you HAVE NOT got this bit working”

Just as I reached step three, Ringo burst into the room in his usual vainglorious, egotistical and pseudo-dramatic fashion.

Not a word to me, the teacher in charge of this class and room, just bursting in, for a quick check on the pupil’s uniform.

Strolled around the class, ignoring the fact that all the students were trying to keep an eye on the projected example on the screen behind me, and also trying to duplicate the query criteria and structure on their own databses.

He found nothing wrong with the kid’s uniforms (I check them all as they come into the room) and then left with a disparaging “Thanks Mistah”.

I took a few seconds (I slowly counted to ten to stop me shouting “DICK” at the top of my stentorian vocal production) then re-started the last phase of the lesson, just in case the kids had lost track.

Fifteen minutes later, just as I was explaining the last calculation field, on the the pupil’s arms shot up.

“Yes A*****?” I said. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t get it to work” he said.

“What bit can’t you get to work A*****?” I asked.

“All of it”he said.

I stopped the lesson and went over to have a look.

It took me about 5 minutes to discover what was going wrong. Eventually I found that the very frst step, where we selected the fields and tables to use had been wrong, and it hadn’t worked for the last FIFTEEN MINUTES.

I almost broke a cardinal rule of teaching.

I almost swore at the kid.

I wanted to say “WHY THE F*CK DIDN’T YOU ASK FOR HELP AT THE START A*****?”

It was really close.

A whispered“Bloody Hell” might just have escaped my lips, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t hear it.

So I had to leave the rest of the class on another prepared task while I sorted out A*****.

Nothing I've done or am doing is worth writing down, and nobody would want to read it anyway.

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I've lost the will to live blog.

I've got Blogger's Block.

I've got Blogger's Block.

I've lost the will to liveblog.

Nothing I've done or am doing is worth writing down, and nobody would want to read it anyway.

It was a lovely, gloriously sunny and warm Saturday morning. The sky was blue, a gentle and warm breeze was blowing up the valley (now you see why I love NZ winters. It’s the equivalent of February, and it’s 21°C on our front deck).

I innocently asked my Beloved if she wanted to go out for a walk. (I should make it clear that I didn’t really want to go out for a walk. I wanted to lie on the couch and read a book and drink some nice Cabernet. But I needed to build up some Brownie points after the “Missing Cheese Incident”)

I didn’t get a reply.

Well, I didn’t get a verbal reply.

I got the LOOK.

“Why do you think I’m making all this soup, savoury muffins and pumpkin pie?” She asked.

“Lunch?” I replied hopefully.

“Lunch with M***, B*****, C***, S***, R*** and A*****.”

I vaguely remembered M***, B*****, C***, S***, but R*** and A*****?

“R*** and A*****?” . “Did you invite them?” I enquired sweetly.

“No, you did” she snapped replied.

“No I didn’t, my Dear” I replied in my most oleaginous manner.

I got the LOOK again.

“I asked you to invite them last week” she snarled said.

I did the sensible thing.

I looked down and mumbled something like “I forgot”

Luckily for me, the other two couples phoned a few minutes later and cancelled, so I got a double bonus.

I didn’t get blamed for mucking up the lunch, AND I got a beautiful bowl of Leek and Potato soup accompanied by fluffy savoury muffins.

I’ll still swear on a stack of Operating Theta (The Scientology load of complete f*cking claptrap bible) that she never asked me to invite R*** and A*****, but I’ll never prove it, so peace is best.

But I've now got Blogger's Block, so it's not worth writing about.

I've got Blogger's Block.

I've lost the will to liveblog.

Nothing I've done or am doing is worth writing down, and nobody would want to read it anyway.