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Thursday, 14 July 2011

I'm going to the World Cup

This has been a very long and strange week.

Now fully recovered from the various bugs, ailments and sundry syndromes that have made my existence a varied hell for the last two weeks, I can return to the calm, sane world of Blogging with a clear mind and conscience.

The last week of school is always a bit weird and we seem to keep all the strange activities of the teachers and students to this period.  We've got kids and staff away on Kapa Haka (Maori cultural performance), Shakespeare day, where the Year12s and 13s put on various excerpts from the plays, MyTube, where the kids (and a few deranged staff) put on skits, sketches and musical performances and not forgetting Parents' evenings.

It all sounds great, but I've got to make sure all the classes are covered by at least one responsible adult (a difficult task in this asylum we call Nuova Lazio High School) and today (Shakespeare Day) is probably the worst.

Add in the end-of-termitis which always strikes teachers and removes them to self-medicated delirium, writhing in their sweat-soaked bedding, and tempers get a bit fraught.

Well mine does anyway.

I sent out a mildly humorous email, referring to S*****, a pupil who has oft been a real pain-in-the-arse for these last 3 years.  It was his birthday, and he's achieved the great age of 16 years.  It's a great age, because it's also the age at which he can legally leave school, and I referred to this in the missive, sent to all staff as a bit of light relief.  It was pointed out at the morning briefing that such emails were completely unprofessional, and that we should be more careful in the content of such emails.

I didn't say the kid was a scrote, or an unrepentant malingering trouble-maker, merely pointed out that S***** had a birthday, and that he'd turned 16. 
Admittedly I did include the words "Glory Hallelujah ", and I think I asked what was the legal leaving age, but nothing too scurrilous.

It's about time some of our senior colleagues developed a sense of humour.

Talking about humour, my beloved indicated that she would like to go and see one of the Rugby World Cup(RWC) matches being played in our beautiful country in September.

If you aren't aware of it, the whole of New Zealand comes to a grinding halt when the All Blacks play, and when the RWC is on the effect is greatly amplified.  This has caused even the school terms to be adjusted so that no teaching occurs during the Cup matches (not that there's much teaching going on anyway during the other times)

My beloved, an avid All Black fan hinted (well actually she said "When are you going to get off your arse and book us some tickets") that she wanted to see the All Blacks play beat completely stuff another country's pitiful excuse for a Rugby team.  But she didn't want to travel far, and hinted that a match in Wellington (close to where we live) would be preferable.

So I booked the tickets.

At $198 each.

To see what could well be the match of the century..

NEW ZEALAND versus f*cking CANADA.

It'll be like the British Army attacking Monaco, with Chieftain tanks and a battalion of the Black Watch versus two (Italian) policeman in a Fiat 500.

I ask you, where's the sportsmanship in that?  If we don't beat them by at least 100 points, the All Blacks should get shot. (If by some kind of black miracle, and the Canadians actually win, or even draw, it is well within the bounds of possibility that the populace will riot and take the ABs apart with their bare hands.)

My kind of match actually.  All the blood, guts and thunder of a professional Rugby Match with a pre-ordained result.

But $198 each?

Ah well anything for a quiet life.

My apologies to my readers (if any) out there in cyberspace for the long gap in posts, I'll try and do better.


  1. Twisted,
    You are the leader of 'the other way' at NLHS and you are appreciated by many.
    I particularly liked your "It wasn't me!" joke when a certain young lady announced that she was with child.
    You're going to the NZ - Canada match? Are you insane? Even watching it on TV would be time frittered away.

  2. Good to know you are alive TSB. SMT with no sense of humour? Tell them to remove the carrots from their bums! BTW Papa T says hi. Was chatting to him in the staff room today at one of the colleges I am relieving at. He is very happy and not missing the wrath of Ringo.
    We shared sob stories over lunch. Enuf said.
    I have a cousin currently in the AB's and he and two of his brothers play for the Crusaders. Have not brought tickets to World Cup though as I am heading to Aussie for a holiday instead. Was actually living in Oz when we won the first world cup in 1987 so hopefully this strategy works again.

  3. Richard(of RBB)
    PLEASE don't call me a leader. Opinion maker perhaps, but If my beloved wants to go, we go. 'Nuff said.

    Valley Girl: Thanks again for the "Mother's Milk: It's all gone, due to the exigencies of my "syndrome" and a great thirst. Give Papa my regards if you would. Is your cousin a "locke" hahahahaha. Lucky you, heading for Aussie. Hope it's to a warm area. You lived in Oz??
    You poor Shiela!!

  4. Pleased to hear the prescribed medication worked. Yes my cousin does play at lock ha ha.
    And the girls at my school wear Doulgas tartan kilts as their uniform, ha ha ha.

  5. Oh dear... that's a funny one. I'm honoured that you think of my country's miltary might so highly, although yes, Monaco might not be detain us too long. Andorra though, I'm glad they're on our side.

    Re the humorous email. I've got myself into lots of bother over the years sending stuff like that. In every single case I am open-mouthed with surprise that managers, who like to present this easy-going, Down Wid Da Kidz attitude, are so touchy when it comes to having a fraction of the humour that you need to survive teaching.

  6. Ah the Rugby World Cup - bless it.
    We have just rented out our Auckland apartment for 4 weeks during September/ October to a nice English couple. The rental will pay rates and body corp for a year.

  7. looby: Writing as an ex-British Army officer, I certainly hope so. Not too sure about the Andorrans. Weren't they trumpet-eared aliens on Star Trek?

    I agree about the humour. Some of ours think that they are funny; they're not.

    TC: You Gouger. What will the poor Poms/French/Aussies think of your poor business practice? But on second thought who cares what the Poms/French/Aussies think anyway.

  8. Well actually we didn't gouge. I was pissed off with the crazy prices some people were charging and set ours at about half 'market' value. We chose a retired English couple who are mad on rugby. We have invited them to come and stay a weekend with us up North as well if they can make it. I just hope that they are for real after reading Richard (of RBB's) post on the disappointment to be had in trusting people. They might turn out to be yobbos or, even worse, Scottish!

  9. TC: Sorry, didn't mean to offend. I also always trust people until let down. It doesn't happen very often, and I believe most people are good.

  10. Sorry you got spanked for sending that email. But you know you were voicing what most of the teachers were thinking.

  11. Patience_Crabtick: Maybe I enjoy being spanked? But not in public, especially by the d*ck who is the most incompetent bastard of all of our managers. I actually got many emails later, offering support, so I think you're correct.


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