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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Spoiled Dog

As I've mentioned before, we have a little dog, a Bichon-Frise.

One of the reasons we (actually, it was my Beloved who chose the little shit-machine, I'm responsible for shit-collection and walking duties) chose this type of dog was that it has a very tightly curled coat, almost like wool, that doesn't shed.  But it also means that fairly often we need to get the little ankle biter shorn, as the coat builds up until he takes on the dimensions of a bloated hyperthyroid sheep.

So today we took it down to the local (Waiwhetu) dog-barber, where for the princely sum of $65 it had its coat reduced to a millimetric fuzz.  I should also point out that MY haircut costs never rise over $10.  Easy to see who's the boss, eh.

Now all of this is bad enough, but the icing on the bloody cake was when we collected the little defecating device 2 hours later.Unbeknowest to me, my Beloved had come prepared, and as we started to leave the canine barber shop, she stopped, and from the depths of her capacious handbag she produced a hand knitted cardigan which she had made for the bloody thing.

The ignominy of it.

The Inhumanity of it .

Walking a small dog which was wearing a Fair-Isle style hand knitted cardigan along the main road.

I couldn't meet the eyes of other pedestrians, I felt demeaned and used.

Later on I felt so proud. I managed to kick the bloody thing after it stopped to sniff at a lampost.

I showed it who's boss.


  1. The only thing a dog should wear is a Hallowe'en costume.

    I used to work at a Veterinary Surgeon charity in the UK and vividly recall a dog being brought in for some kind of surgery. We had a bit of a WTF moment when the nurses started to shave its abdomen and suddenly pink wool started to appear! Yes, the dog had been wearing a pink woollen jacket for SO long that the hair had grown right through it and was no longer visible. Can you imagine how uncomfortable that must have been for the poor thing?!

    Not suggesting that you would do that, of course, but makes me feel a bit shuddery when I see any dog in a knitted jacket.......

  2. imagine my embarrassment when in a trendy London market i asked which way round the cute little baby outfit went only to have the item snatched away and be told it was for A DOG!!

  3. AliX: Pink? They dressed a poor little doggie in Pink? The cads. The poor wee thing must have felt almost as bad about the colour as the increadible ichiness. At leastmy little ankle biter's cardigan has buttons. PLEASE NOTE. My Beloved did not knit ME a cardigan.

    Young at Heart: HAHAHAHA. Sorry, mustn't laugh at embarrassment, but really. HAHAHAHAHA

  4. Good to see you back TSB.
    I'm getting one of those outfits for the ginger bastard - then Shelley won't have to worry about him being outside and cold. The little shit will be able to sleep under the house.

  5. Cats don't get cold. Well known scientific fact. Prove it. Throw the ginger bastard in the freezer and check after 24 hours.


    Well at least that problem's solved.

  6. I would have shared your humiliation on this one.

    In fact I probably would have walked back well ahead of him.

    What a great excuse for refusing dog walking duties though eh?



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