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Friday, 4 May 2012

All is Sweetness and Light

What a lovely day!

It was a bit brisk this morning (about 9ยบ C), but it soon warmed up nicely.

I had no surprises regarding relief, and all of my pre-planned relief teachers turned up at the appropriate times to cover their classes.

We even had one ex-teacher (on sabbatical, not retired ex-Clive) who turned up and was given a timetable with absolutely no given work, who didn't complain or whinge, but got stuck into the classes.
Just perfect

My own classes were perfect (as always) with the students vying with each other to see who could produce the best designed assessment.

Nothing untoward marred the perfect day, with temperatures soaring to the high teens.

My classes in the afternoon were as perfect as my classes in the morning.
Just perfect again

Each pupil was polite, respectful, and industrious. I was soon running out of time in complimenting the little angels.

All of my relieving teachers were on time, and actually taught the material as given to them, and accurately completing the class roles (always a b*gger with relievers, as they can't (even with the best will in the world) identify all the students in a class)

My afternoon classes were an absolute delight, with everyone, and I mean 100%, on task and completely focused.

I couldn't have asked f....




Not a nice bloke
My peer model

I hate RINGO.


I had a full f*cking load of relief teaching for today, but it was all pre-set and pre-arranged.

Then Ringo texted me.

He had forgotten to :
  1. Give me a class roll
  2. Give me a lesson plan of any f*cking sort.
  3. Given me the special keys needed to release the laptop computers he's managed to con from our school board and that he needed for his "lesson".

Now I was still expected to arrange the bloody relief.

If a 'normal' teacher had done something like this I would have explained (gently but aggressively) that

Especially as it was all (or supposed to be) pre-planned.

It wasn't a sudden sickness or an accident, it was all arranged.

Sometimes I f*cking despair.

If the people who are supposed to set a good example to the rest of us just f*ck up because of forgetfulness or just sheer incompetence, then they should be called up for their absolute disregard of their basic duties and responsibilities.

I'm very, very, very tempted to call the bastard out.

6 months ago he pointed out in a staff meeting, that an email I had sent to all staff was unprofessional. 

All the email had said was to point out colleagues that the age of a certain student was now over 16 and that he could be legitimately sent out into the cruel, cold world.

I disagreed at the time that it was unprofessional, but I didn't say a word, biding my time.

I wonder what the reaction would be if at tomorrow's staff briefing I said something like:

"6 months ago, Ringo told you all that my actions on sending a humorous email were unprofessional"

"Yesterday Ringo left me to arrange relief for a LINKS class (the less-able, and often disruptive students), with no class roll, no lesson plan, and no keys to open the COWS computers in his room.

In my role as relief coordinator, I would deem that action (and lack of planning) exceedingly unprofessional"

I wonder if I'll have the guts to do it.

Our management philosophy

We'll see.

BTW, I was sorely tempted to use this picture for my bit about perfect.  I'm sure you'll all know why.


  1. I'm glad your day wasn't all sunshine because the angry stuff makes for better reading. Nice picture at the end. I needed that because it has been a bloody hard week. At least I get to teach art next week - you know, that subject that is just like music. Just like how all maths teachers can teach science. Enjoy your Friday TSB.

    1. But you're in the Art faculty. At least you're not as bad as The Hobbit, who is, I believe going to teach graphics next week.

      I'm glad that my writing about my pain makes it easier to read for you. I just love helping people in every way.

      Enjoy your Friday as well. At the moment I pray nobody else is ill, I've not got a reliever left.

  2. I'll take Ringo out for ya, just because I'm sick of humans! No charge even!

    1. Great. I'll send his picture, home address, food preferences (in case you want to try cyanide) and daily schedule. That'll be a great weight of my mind.

      Why are you sick of humans, if you want to share?

      Being Scottish the bit about no charge is an incentive I can't resist.

    2. Humans are a huge obstacle to getting anything done!

      Please investigate his food allergies. If peanuts are in there, it'll be very easy. And cheap (I'm Scottish and Swedish).

  3. I saw it coming a mile away! And I'm new here!

    There will always be a Ringo. If you move to a different school, there will be a Ringo there waiting for you with open arms. It's part of the human condition, brother.

    1. Damn. And I thought I was being subtle.

      If Ringos are everywhere, then there's no hope.

      Thanks TUB, I'm now heading for a deep depression. I wonder if I could become a monk?
      Who knows, maybe the Pope is a Ringo as well. He's german, so he's got a head start.

  4. Replies
    1. Yes you really are too much of a gentleman, and far toooo much of a professional to do such a thing - unlike fucking Ringo (Unprofessional, Selfish Narcistic Bastard that he is).

      Why is it he is so quick to point out other's faults, when he is just as bad or much worse!

      I think he gets a trhill/kick out of annoying the shit out of people. He gets away with it too because people rarely stand up to him, so he coontinues his rotten ways. A true bully in every way. This toxic beast needs casting out of NLHS, if not the world.

    2. Just calm down VG, he's not worth it.

      I'm working on it.

      Austen volounteered to remove him from the land of mortals, so we'll wait and see what happems.

    3. Sorry TSB you know I can't help it. I had such a warm relationship with Ringo (If that is possible with a cold blooded creature like Ringo) as I'm sure you will recall.

  5. For a while there I thought you lived in some sort of twilight zone where students were perfect...welcome back to the real world!

    1. But it's so frightening.

      I think I have to insulate myself from reality.

      I'll go and read a bokk, with a wee glass of vino.

    2. Your post just seemed too perfect at first. I thought you would then say... and then I awoke, my beleoved nagging me to get up for work.

      I discovered we have a magic new fridge in our beautiful new staffrooom yesterday. Every day this week I pop my lunch box in the fridge to keep my food cool. I then retrieve it when I get up to the staffroom for my lunch break. Well gosh did I get a huge fright yesterday - such a huge fright that I squealled with excitement. My lunch had disapperared. It had turned into a fridge full of beer and wine bottles. By that stage of the day/week I really needed a drink too! I then quickly realised it was just the doing of the social club chilling up the liquid refreshments for after work Friday drinkies. My lunch was in the twin fridge next to it. At least no one had stolen it, then what would I consume for lunch? (Knowing I had a rowdy Year 9 class for the last lesson of the day that would suck the remaiing energy I had left). So I ate my lunch quietly on the lovley new soft leather couch(one of 6 we have acquired as part of the new fit out) and rested. This is nice I thought.
      Can't wait until they get the SKY tv working either to show on those lovely new flat screen tvs on the walls. Then it will be even better.
      Shame we don't hear the school bell very well up in our new loft of luxury. Makes it hard to get up and get to class on time. Could stay there all day.

    3. Gosh, you've got a magic fridge?

      It converts food to booze?

      Not fair, we want one to.

      Do you have another magic fridge that converts Ringo to corpsicles?

  6. Perfect? Not sure C or D cup do you think? Sorry what else was in this post... oh yes... Shoot the f*cker

    1. I think a "D", but I'm not sure. Anyway I prefer quality ot quantity.

      Thanks for the advice. I always say that Mr 7.62 is my friend. Over 400 metres anyway.

    2. BTW, pay attention next time please.

  7. Hi nice to meet you. We have a few things in common (maybe not) I'm from NZ and we had just got a small white fluffy dog. Also I must use the word on your sign in one of my posts and sort out the women from the girls.

    1. Thanks for dropping in and leaving a comment ALW. What sign? What word?
      Do you mean Hell? or Work?
      I'm confused, but my Beloved says I'm confused most of the time.

      I've been in godzone for almost 9 years now, and have no intention of returning to the grey depressing UK (Sorry any Brits reading this, it's true, and you know it).

      We all love NZ, the people, the food and the climate.

      Actually, reading your last post, that tunic/dress would certainly sort out the women from the girls, but I'm too sensitive to say any more on that matter.

  8. During the first part of your post I was thinking "Be afraid. Be very afraid!" When I saw that things were normal for this part of the school year, I was no long afraid for you.

    1. Thanks for that. But as teachers we're always afraid.

      We're afraid the bloody government are going to add some new educationalist's paradigm to our already cripplingly heavy workload, or that the kids are going to revolt. By the end of the school year, we're mostly afraid of our own shadows.

  9. TSB, your inappropriate hunger for ratings is turning up some pretty strange blog followers. What are you doing? Offering freebees if they join up?
    I suggest free tickets to the Prowse Brothers. That'll sort them out.

    1. Inappropiate?

      All I do is visit other blogs and leave the occasional comment.

      Can I help it if they find the tales of Ringo fasciniating?

      The only freebies I ever offer is ... sorry, I never ofer freebies, not snce I left sales and marketing.

      Why should I wish to bring pain to these new arrivals?

      The Prowse brothers?

      They should change their names...the Demons Prowse.

  10. I understand the thirst for vengeance. I guess my thought would be to quote Ralph Waldo Emerson in saying, "If you strike at a king, you must kill him."

    I realize that he is not a king but I do think if you are going to publicly strike at someone it should absolutely eviscerate your enemy. No small measures. If what you are suggesting is strong enough I would proceed, if not I would gather evidence and wait for a killing blow.

    1. Thanks for your advice. Have you studied under Machiaveli?

      I however agree. no action will be taken.

      Sometimes the most postive actions are the ones that go undetected.

      Like leaking brake fluid.

    2. Oh yes especially when one has to drive back home from NL down that bloody steep hill. Could be quite lethal if the brakes did'nt work eh??

  11. I thought there was, a few weeks ago, the delicious prospect of him fucking off to be useless elsewhere?

    1. Hi looby,
      yes there was a rumour that he'd applied for a Deputy Principal's job in a posh Wellington school.

      Fortunately for them, he didn't get the job.
      Unfortunately for us, he didn't get the job.

      Sometimes life's so depressing.

  12. I saw you comment on a post by Jody, 'about last weekend' and, being married to a Scot, I had to come over to see the owner of such a great blog name. I wasn't disappointed. Will come again!

    1. Hi Trish@Mums... Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. I always try to reply to all comments made.
      Being married to a Scot? You lucky girl (well, I assume you're a girl, but you just can't be sure these days) Please feel free to call me TSB, everyone else does. The actual name came form a teacher friend of mine when I was teaching In Perth, Scotland. He wanted me to make a web site with stories from teachers about their experiences in schools. he wanted to call it Twisted Bastards. We never actually set it up, becaudse of the dangers of litigation from the studnets, but I remembered the name.


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