Soap 'n' a Ringo

Tracy, a sometime visitor (not to be confused with Tracey) and commentator on m'blog mentioned in a comment how she would appreciate my invaluable insights into soap.

We're not just talking about any kind of soap here, but Imperial Leather.

It's the stupid bloody label on this type of soap which is exercising Tracy, and I don't blame her.

What is the f*cking point of a label on a bar of soap? 
It will invariably wash off when the soap is used for it's main purpose (more anon) and end up blocking the drain, or being wrapped around the little yellow floating plastic duck in the bath.

It's insane, a complete waste of time and effort in trying to make their product look exclusive and expensive.  Some poor bloody designer has sat down and actually laid out the specifications for the label.
Border: Gold
Background: Black
Lettering: Gold
Additional Details: Gold and Silver crest, Red wavy lines
Main text above crest: Cussons
Minor Text below crest: Imperial Leather.

WTF

I KNOW IT'S Imperial Leather.  I bought the bloody stuff.

And while we're on it, why the name.

Imperial Leather (Originally "Imperial Russian Leather")

Why Leather?

Not too good for the complexion

I can sort of understand Imperial, sounds grand, good for persuading Joe Public to part with a few pennies extra, to "buy quality", but Leather?

Do they want us to think it was derived from Saddle Soap?

Is it any good for cleaning Leather?
Was it made from the bits of leather rejected by the shoe industry?

Farewll my love

I used to buy the stuff.  This was before my Beloved took over all the domestic buying decisions, which is why I never see real butter, cream, full fat cheese, bacon or hash browns any more, but when I used to buy the Imperial Leather, it was for a rather esoteric reason.

I didn't buy it because it gave an extra soft and luxuriant lather.
I didn't buy it because I liked the aroma of its delicate innermost oils and unguents.
I bought it because of its shape.

It's the only soap which has rather angular edges, and that's the reason I bought the stuff.

I used it for my ironing.

Now before any reader (if such fabled creatures actually exist) starts thinking that TSB has lost his marbles completely (I know that many think I'm at least partly off the rails) there was a specialist function in use here.

No, I didn't heat the stuff up and try to iron my shirts with it, that's just plain daft.

I used it for my creases. 

In the Army, you learn all sorts of rather weird and wonderful techniques for doing things.  Methods which have been passed down from times immemorial, from Sergeant to recruit, from old soldiers to the young innocents.

Soap is an invaluable aid in attaining razor sharp and lasting creases in trousers, blouses and shirts.(You use it on the inside of the garment, silly)

The sharp angles on the Imperial Leather bar of soap make it possible to get accurate and sharp lines.

Changing of the guard after a bad rainstorm

There is unfortunately a tendency for the garments to foam slightly when on parade in the rain, but those times were (thankfully) rare. 

So please, any Gods of Soap out there, STOP USING LABELS

You know it makes sense.

---

Ringo strikes again

The guy's just got a special talent.

He was out again today, but I didn't know it until I arrived at Nuova Lazio High School this morning.

I spotted an email from him , and thought (as I always think when I see his name on the header)

OH SHIT

WHAT NOW

It turned out that he was going to be away all day, AND that he had prepared no rolls, no relief cover,

Admittedly, to be fair (and I always try to be fair, regardless of who is involved) he had only one class.

It's what we call an elective class, where the students, for one period a fortnight, choose something extra offered by our teachers.  Something off the normal curriculum.

He was offering Philosophy!

He thought another teacher was going to be covering the class, but the person involved said NO, it definitely wasn't going to be her, and that he'd got it wrong.  Again.

So one of our relievers was going to turn up and discuss Philosophy with a bunch of kids.

I suggested an investigation of the finer points of Stoicism, demonstrated perhaps by her having the whole class standing outside in the pouring, freezing rain, and NOT COMPLAINING.

Excellent. 

Pity he couldn't have been there as well.