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Thursday, 10 May 2012

Why Can't They Make Up Their (little) Minds (Part Deux)

Last month I told you about the gruesome journey that was the booking/unbooking/rebooking/unbooking/rebooking again nightmare that was my Beloved attempting to help me buy her air tickets to the UK.  (See Why Can't They Make Up Their (little) Minds)

Last night the second, and I sincerely hope, last instalment in the process came to a head.

Having despaired of making all the little changes my Beloved wished, I had instructed, asked begged her to go into a Travel Agent to explain exactly and in excruciating detail what she wanted .

She went into an agent in Upper Hutt, close to where we live, gave them all the instructions and returned to chez TSB.

The agent responded with an acknowledgement a couple of days ago, and then last night their quote arrived by email.
My kind of agents

She (for the Travel Agent was of the female variety...God, you'd think they'd learn by experience.  I wonder if they can make up their minds as well.  Probably they can, but I bet it needs some really intensive training) gave the details of a flight they proposed for my Beloved.

Via Wellington, Sydney, Hong Kong, London and at last to Edinburgh in the land of midges, haggis and whisky. (plus snow, cold, unending rain and an appropriate dour outlook on life.  Look, living in that bloody climate in the winter, and putting up with midges in the summer and an anti-Scottish Parliament based in bloody London all year long would make you dour as well)


The agent had booked Qantas.

Her agent

Qantas on every flight.

You may remember that the previous escapade was partly initiated because my Beloved had insisted, very vehemently, that Qantas had a rather racist outlook on passengers of Asian descent and appearance, and that she would never fly with them again.

I printed out the email and carried it through for Der F├╝hrer's inspection and said the fateful words:

Me "Look Darling, the stupid agent has offered to book you on Qantas"
MB(My Beloved; pay attention please) "So?' "What's the price?"

Me *confused* "They're saying NZ$2980" "But it's Qantas" 
MB "So?"

Me *accusingly* "Didn't you tell them to only book AirNZ or Singapore?"
MB "No" (And really sit down for this bit) "WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?"

I tell you, in the words of the late, great (but very odd) Frankie Howerd "My flabber has never been so gasted"

Me "But you told me that you'd never, ever fly Qantas again"
MB "No I didn't"


Long silence. With hints of strain.  I could hear the faint sounds of veins bursting, just under the skin of my temples.

MB *almost tearfully* "I really wish you'd listen more carefully to what I say and remember ALL the details"
MB "I said I didn't want to fly Qantas unless they were cheaper"

Cheaper?... CHEAPER?... CHEAPER?...

Those words had never, ever passed her lips.

The words that did pass that I remember were NEVER and RACIST and $%##&@ AUSSIE BASTARDS.

Me "So are you saying that you'd be happy in flying Qantas if I can get a cheaper flight?"
MB "Yes, of course"

I retired back to my computer and started a furious web search

I managed to find a good flight, with shorter stopovers at about NZ$250 cheaper.


Checked (of course) with my beloved and then confirmed and booked the flight.


I did not mention, even once, that if my beloved had decided on this course of action two weeks and 2 cancellations ago we would have saved abut NZ$600.

I'm proud of my restraint

I was really proud of my restraint.

Really proud.



  1. Have you heard that goldfish have such a short memory that they swim around their bowl and dont know where they are by the time they get to where they started?
    Now I'm not saying women have a short memory but....

    1. Careful Tempo, I suspect you're on very thin ice. Actually, in my experience, women can have very, very long memories.

      Fot instance, quite often my Beloved refers to an incident where I said/did something during our wedding, over 34 years ago.

      I can't remember the f*cking thing, but she obviously can...or is she just playing game...Hmmm....thinks.

  2. Methinks it maybe you lacking in grey matter, beloved obviously knows which buttons to press to bring on the desired effect. Is there a wry smile on her face? I must admit it is fun to wind up ones partner. Does she have life insurance on you?

    1. Thank you for that kindly insult Dear YONKS, but I watched very carefully and there wasn't a trace of a grin on her face.

      You mean you do the same to your partner? Do all women go to a secret special school where they learn all these tricks?

      That could explain a lot.

      Yes, she does have life insurance on me, but I'm not worried. Who else could put up the shelves?

    2. There is a secret school. I can't tell you where cos it's a secret!

    3. HAHAHA.

      Actually that's not funny.

      I'm frightened.

  3. Sometimes one cannot win. Has your better half considered politics?

    1. Thank you for that positive thought Laoch, but to quote the Laws of Thermodynamics:

      First: You can't win.
      Second: You can't break even.
      Third: You can't quit the game.

      No, my Beloved has never even thought about such a thing, and why didn't you put Better Half in italics??

  4. Perhaps you imagined the entire "racist" episode. Husbands do that, you know. Imagine they hear things. I do all the time.

    1. Thanks TUB, you may well be correct. I'm glad to see that you seem to have the same affliction, as do many of my male friends. Why is it that she can remember something I said from 30 years ago, but can forget to put oil in her car?

      Ah well, we still love them.

  5. You really must learn to listen man... even to the words they don't say - it is a talent I'm still trying to master as well

    1. Thanks for the tip Furtheron, I'll try. maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'm hearing and remembering the words they don't say.

      I'm getting confused.

      Maybe I'm telepathic and don't know it.
      Maybe I'm remembering her actual thoughts, not her words.

      I'm getting very confused.

  6. Selective memory: that twenty seconds you might have spent smiling at that pretty friend of a friend a decade a go (while on the other side of the room she was chatting warmly to some tall charismatic Mah Jong teacher) is carved in stone; but her instructions of a few days ago are forgotten, erased from the record. My sympathies TSB. Never mind, think of that beautiful couple of weeks when she won't be finding jobs for you mid-afternoon doze.

    1. Funny you should use that particular example looby, but i must point out that there is no such thing as a charismatic Mah Jong teacher, they're too focused on their tiles and Chows to even have an inkling of charisma.

      I'm actually going to have 8½ weeks to myself.


      And to be fair, she said that she would fill up the freezer with plenty of her delicious food before she left. If she remembers her own words that is.

  7. Titter - Me - Not...........

    I hear you!

    1. Goodness Alistair, I'd forgotten that particular phrase. Thanks for reminding me, I'll try and work it casually into conversation today.

      Thanks. I know you can't say too much in case someone reads it, but thanks.

  8. You get so many comments! There's nothing left for me to say except,
    "Good morning TSB."

    1. Good morning Richard.

      I always appreciate your gems of commentary.

  9. 8 1/2 weeks?

    Be careful in the kitchen then while your wife is away.

    1. Thanks TC, I'll be careful.

      I'm always careful.

      I don't want to get caught.

      I was going to look at that youTube video in school, but when I saw the comments about "food porn" I decided to wait until I can watch it in the privacy of my own home.

      Do you think I should share it with my Beloved?

  10. By all means yes if it is the excellent Fellini film 8 1/2

    If it is the execrable American film 9 1/2 Weeks (sorry I put the wrong digit in before - oops, that sounded rude)then I don't think you should show the wife. She might reconsider leaving you alone for so long.

    1. I can vaguely remember the Fellini film from long ago, and to be honest, I've nhever even heard of 9½.

      Technical note:
      If you want to insert odd symbols into a blog or comment, you can use the Alt method.
      Click where you want the symbol to go press the Alt key and keep it pressed, and on the number keys on the right, type in 0189, then release the Alt key.

      There are many, many symbols which can be inserted in this way. Sorry, it's the compuiter teacher in me

      Don't worry about sounding rude. I'm married. I'm used to it.

      ANYTHING that may change my capricious Darling's mind on my extended 8½ holiday is to be discouraged.

      My, it must be nice to have all your spare time now.

      Blog man, blog.
      Make Richard proud of you. *giggle*


    1. I know.
      You posted this one already.

      It's a shame when senility strikes.

      Ask Richard.

  12. No. It didn't work (not for us Luddites anyway.

    1. Just checking.

      Click in a comment box and type 8.
      Then push down either of the Alt keys on your keyboard. Kepping it pressed, type 0189 using the number keys on the right hand side of the keyboard (making sure your NumLock is on before you start. A little light should come on on your keyboard, telling you that NumLock is active)then release the Alt key.
      The symbol ½ should then appear.

  13. Thanks teacher, but .... I wasn't interested in the bloody number symbol!
    I thought your tutorial was to do with inserting web links into a blog comment.
    Ok, ok, I didn't read what you said properly but hey, I'm busy. I've got cute sales reps to see, devious marketing programmes to devise, totally bogus wine information for back labels to write, very important magazines to read for market information (Cuisine, Metro, North $ South, Cosmopolitan)and then wines to taste!

    1. Sorry TC, I know (obviously) how to do it, but as it uses HTML tags, the actual instructions will not display properly.

      Enjoy your wine tasting

  14. Oops yes Kevin and I would save ourselves a lot of money if we were just more organised (or we had a full time ass.)

    1. Hi again ALW, thanks for leaving a comment.
      I think most of us would benefit from being more organised. Certainly and without question, my Beloved could do with adapting to a more rational approach to making decisions. But I'd never say that of cuorse. I want to live in peace and harmony.

      If I was of disreputable character I would make some sort of scurulous comment about your use of the word ass.

      I would bring in references to derriers, bottoms, smacking and even possibly donkeys (but that would probably be going too far, even for a disreputable character.)

      But having seen most of your nether regions on your last post about that skirt/shift, only a cad would comment.

      I'm not a cad.


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