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Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Normal Service Will be Resumed as Soon as Possible.

Sorry for the interruption.

Four days of feeling like shit.

Four days of trying to think with a brain filled with cotton wool.

Now I have some inkling of how Ringo feels every day.

I get the sneaking suspicion that the code, created by Richard [of RBB] has been broken, and he knows we're talking about him.

Every time I mention him in an ever-so-slightly derogatory way on m'blog, I get the silent glare, or the grunted "TSB" in the morning.

But you never know, it might just be his usual mean-spirited f*cking ignorant every-day behaviour.
But I'm a little too biased to be objective.  Honestly.

We've got two lots of reports and a pile of external moderation to get through over the next two weeks, plus of course, the much dreaded Teacher Only Day.

I still fell that we should all just bugger off to the pub and get royally pissed.

Then we should parade the little darlings AND their parents/ Aunties/Uncles/ Whatever and REALLY tell them what we think of them.

Tell them what job we think they're really fitted for.

Dump all of the PC vocabulary, and call a spade a f*cking spade.

But we can't, as half of our Māori students and adults would probably think we were calling them the "N" word.

We can't use the "N" word, but the kids can. 

Every day we hear a student refer to another student as N*gg*r, and hearing the constant repetition of "Bitch" when referring to members of the fairer sex, is, quite frankly nauseating.
God I hate Rap music and the so-called GANGSTA attitude.  I'd give them attitude.

What about a short back and sides and a real job.

Sorry, I digress.

I've just heard on the news about a kid of 14 up in Paeroa (N. Island of New Zealand, near the Coromandel Peninsula) who took an operable but imitation pistol into school and shot another pupil between the eyes. 
The he tried to cap the kid (who was trying to hide under a desk) with a head shot. 

The teacher, MAY HIS FAME IGNITE THE HEAVENS IN REMEMBRANCE belted the kid and floored the little scrote. 
Bliss, sheer f*cking bliss.

He then held the kid immobile until the cops turned up.

I bet over half of my fellow pedagogues felt like doing that, AND THIS BLOKE HAD THE LEGAL RIGHT TO DO SO!

Absolute f*cking bliss.

I wonder if I could persuade on of my little angels to try some role play.


They'd never go for it.

They all know that with my Army training, I'd have their shoulder dislocated, their heads up their rectums and straight-armed out of the window before you could say Political F*cking Correctness.

Ah well, I can always dream.

There's a thought.

I wonder if I could fool persuade Ringo to try some role play with an imitation firearm.

I've still got one of my Ruger .22s somewhere.
This one?

this one?

Remember that line from the Untouchables delivered by the inimitable Sean Connery?

"They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. He comes at you with an imitation firearm, you plug him with a Ruger .22"

Ah, Happy days.  Happy days.

Never mind, I've still got my dignity if not my good health.

I've been checked.


  1. my daughter plugs here iPod into the car stereo - "None of that N*gg*r rap shit" says Mrs F from the back seat... as you say it has a lot to answer for - luckily my daughter does listen to a lot of good stuff too but some of it I just can't cope - one the other just sounded like the ingredients for an omelet with obscenities between each word - I join in with my versions that normally gets her to turn it off.

    1. Good idea. Isn't it a bit difficult to drive and play the guitar at the same time?

  2. Oh yeah - the test card - now that was entertainment in my day ;-)

    1. Yep. I can remember when it was on for most of the day. Probably better entertainment than half the crap shown on daytime tv now.

    2. Have you heard that they had to flip the photo of the little girl on the test card, as she was holding the chalk in her left hand when the photo was taken. Apparently the BBC was terrified of the hysteria on a national level if people saw an apparently-left handed person on the test card every day and couldn't handle the cognitive dissonance. Luckily, it's an urban myth.

    3. Don't you just love a good urban myth, or in this case isn't it an urban Miss?

  3. A really entertaining read, TSB. Hope you're feeling as well as you sound.

    Your students sound a bit scary!


    1. Thanks Tracy, now feeling a lot better. Yep, some of these kids can be scary.

      The secret to survival is to be even more scarier

  4. I share your views onthe rap music TSB. Had an interesting chat with someof my Year 9 girls today about how I reckoned that rap music is sublimanly brainwashing their minds to think it is quite appropriate to address their peers and tehachers/elders using the language of rappers. Also the morals of some of the lyrics are atrocious. It was fired up when I heard on the radio on my way to work today that FLoRider is No.1 in the charts with his lovely catchy new tune called "Whistle". I asked one of my students what the song was about? Sheknew and told me promptly - aw Miss your'e a bit slow -its about how to give head. Well I knew
    what it was about but I pretended I didnt just to test her.
    Bloody Hell! It was bad enough having my Year 13 English studnet discussing the merit sofhte song in class the other day and opening hte floor to a classwide debate about the topic. My God htere is no shame in things these days. Anything is up for discussion (literally!!!). I feel such an old prude, but it really is not approrpriate in my classes. Bugger that Rap music. It's Pandoras Box of inappropriateness!

    1. Oh, so agree.

      What's giving head.

      Is it telling the principal to bugger off?

    2. If only it were that tasteful. Talking of Heads, our Head has taken my worst Year 9 Class off me and decided to teach them! They hate it. She was feed up with there lack of discipline and respect so she has taken the bull by the horns. SO htey have gone from TOugh Love to Boot Camp. My Teacher Aides inform me it is working a treat - the whole shock and aw thing, as we did not tell them this was going to happen. They won't mess with the Head. Secretely though I think she just wanted a chance to test drive the new classrooms we moved into this week by getting back in the saddle. God Bless her and long may she reign over us. No one messes with this lady! ( I wonder if any of the kids have called her a lady dog yet to her face?).

    3. What a great idea. I wish our's would do the same.

    4. Well at least our Head "Walks the Talk" and does not just dance the way through staff briefings, meetings and anything else that reuires a public performance of sorts. This lady has "balls", that's all I can say, and good on her. Apparently this recidivist late comer to my class tried his usual turn up late trick on Monday. THe lookon his face when he waleked in teh dor was priceless. The Teacher Aide reckoned he wet himself in shock, then slowly slinked to the back of the room after a mumbled and profuse lateness apology to the Head. Oh to have been a fly on the wall. Already another star miscreant form this class has already been stood down. Oh how his rap sheet grows. His days are numbered I suspect.
      Let the good times roll! Hasta La Vista 9F!

  5. Careful there big boy...a teacher talking about taking a gun to school might be a bit to much...even for NZ. LOL
    Taking the brat by the throat would be like a dream come true for most teachers I expect. In fact I feel like doing that often when one of the punks gives me me finger for simply existing.
    I dont think Australians use the 'N' word much... it doesn't seem to fit here. My Aboriginal friends call each other names that would see me thrown into jail if I said them, but I've never heard anyone use that word here. (there are lots of others though)

    1. What's wrong with guns?

      Guns don't kill people, psychopathic teachers kill people.

      I do feel like strangling the little scrotes sometimes, but only about 90% of the time. The rest i just cry in the corner.

      I don't hear any adult Maoris using the N word either. I still think it's the influence of rap.

    2. For sure for sure. I notice too its the Pacifikas calling the Maori kids that or vice versa. A kind of reverse racsism. We all know they call the white kids pakehas or palangis. Bu tto call their brothere the N word, I find bizzare. You realist the first Maori migrant to NZ came from Polynesia so they are all from the same gene pool way back yet they hate each other? Its more like sibling rivalry.

      I also reckon the rap music encourage the kids to try and talk with gangsta accents cos it sounds cool. Oh stuff you FloRider and Snoop Dog,Lil Kim. What have you done to our kids?

    3. You and I both, I have to turn the radio down when Rap comes on...and I dont even do that with Country... I've been called 'Casper' 'Whitey' 'snowflake' by Aboriginals.

  6. Extra rest seems like a good idea. As I have gotten older I find I just don't recover well from maladies without it.

    1. Ditto. Especially in your wekly PD sessions eh TSB?

  7. Such memories seeing that TV girl again with the creepy looking rag doll. Wonder what happened to that girl. Sounds like you've bee through hell and back, hope you're feeling better now. That school incident would feature a real gun here in Oakland...

    1. That wee girl does look a bit creepy. I seem to remember the English girl in the BBC test card was in the news, but I can't remember about what.

      Yhanks, I am feeling a lot better. I might be back up to 60% next week.

      Can teachers carry guns in CA?

    2. As long as you have a license it's all good according to the authorities. Crazy! (Though apparently there are more altercations in Britain than the US (per capita) its just that in the US it more often ends in death. Now that's too sobering for a Sat Morn...

  8. Replies
    1. Morning Richard. Thansk for the in-depth comment :=)

  9. Guess what TSB, you won my giveaway mate!!!!! Visit me for details. Glad it was you, and before you ask, it was totally legit!

    1. Oooohhh.


      Little Ol' me?

      A winner?

      Bless you my child, and may the fruit of your loins give you a long and happy reward.

      I'll email at the weekend, as I'm a bit swamped with work at the moment, and m'son has exceeded my bandwidth limit.

      Thanks again.
      Iechyd da!

  10. Is Teacher Only Day the day when you put on paper party hats, drink fancy drinks with umbrellas in them and have karaoke contests?

    There is no middle ground on rap. You either think it's an art form or a cancer on society. I am in the latter group.

    I do not know how you don't lose your temper teaching on a daily basis. Maybe at the college level it's not so bad but even then, I'll bet you'd want to give an occasional therapeutic smack in the head to some deserving soul.

    1. Your'e right on there buddy. I dream about doing horrible things to my miscreants every night now.
      Of course report time as it is now is alos a good time to vents, well intially until the report comments get so cleansed by our superiors due to their PC policies about avoid strong negative comments. What ever happened to the truth hurst soemtimes or the truth will set you free? By thet time the reprots arrive home they are truly diluted and have lost hteir initial impact, resembling little to what you first wrote. However the process can be cathartic.

    2. Nope. Sorry the real facts are kept strictly inside the profession.


      See here for more details

      I cultivate a calm and friendly mien when in scholl. But I scream all the way home.

      It's really tempting to clip the odd ear by "accident", but I value my pension too much. Not too keen on being sent to Rimutaks (local prison), as their's too many ex-pupils in there.


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