So after discovering that everything was not "all right", I decided to phone the primary mover-and-shaker (m'son) and try to find out WTF was going on.
We had agreed to meet at his place of work after I had finished school, and I knew he was pretty busy during the day.
So I decided to use that new-fangled piece of TechnoTomFoolery called texting, sorry, txting.
See, even though I am rapidly approaching my 7th decade on this godforsaken object we call Earth (although Richard [of RBB] calls it Jasper) I am fully cool and aware of the modernisms inherent in using such advanced devices called mobile phones.
|SEE. I've got a mobile.|
If they txt brg drnk, does it mean:
Anyway, I txtd m'son.
Me: Why was your car towed away?
Him: Y (See what I mean. Does this mean why or does it mean Yes?)
Me: Just tell me. Why did the Police have your car towed away?
Me: Just fkn TELL me. (See, clear, unambiguous and in no way breaching any misuse of a radio transmission for the broadcasting of fkn Obscenities Act (1981))
Me: Well is there any point in me picking you up?
Him: nt reely. I wuz goin 2 tel u when u saw me.
Me (after taking a deep breath): If you're (see, apostrophe) in trouble, tell me and I'll help.
Him : I stuffed up Dad. I feel so bad.
Me: Right, please phone me and just tell me my wee dear. I do love you you know, and we'll sort this out.
I answered my phone 5 minutes later.
Me: "Why didn't you tell me?"
Him: "I was too ashamed, and also worried that Mum would go ballistic"
Me: "Was there drink involved?"
Him: "No Dad, just something silly. There was no accident or drugs or anyone hurt, I promise"
Me: "OK son, you just go home as normal tonight and we'll tell Mum"
|Hurts worse than a rectum full of Napalm|
Me: "Don't worry about it. We just want you safe at home. Well sort something out. We all love you, but you need to tell me the truth"
Him: "OK Dad, thanks, I love you too. I've been so worried I couldn't sleep, and I feel so sick"
Me: "I'll see you at home and we'll sort out how to tell Mum" "OK now?"
Him: "Thanks so much Dad, I feel better. See you"
Back to teaching classes for the rest of the day, then back in my wee office working on some relief/exam problems, when my phone rings.
"Hello is that Mr TSB?" said a gruff voice that I recognised as being SSRB from Porirua
"Yes, is that you SSRB?"
He then recounted the details, just as m'son had told me. Whew, the wee sod had actually told me the truth.
Me: "Thanks so much SSRB, I managed to get the story from him this afternoon" "What's the next thing I have to do"
SSRB: "You will need the relevant paper work Mr TSB." "A copy was given to your boy at the time, but *slightly amused yet understanding chuckle* sometimes these lads get too embarrassed to tell their parents"
Me: "I think that's what happened SSRB" "What happens next?"
SSRB: "You can get the car back in 28 days, and your boy will have to appear in court to face the charges"
Me: *Gulp* "Are the charges serious?
SSRB: "Not as such" "I tell you what" "I'll drop off copies of the charge and incident sheet at your home tonight, just in case they somehow get lost"
ME: "Much appreciated SSRB, you've been very understanding, thanks again"
SSRB "I'll see you tonight then Sir, goodbye"
M'son and I had a long chat, and I made it clear that HE would have to tell his Mum, not me.
It took him 2 days to work up the courage, but he told her.
She was disappointed, but understanding, and m'son could then sleep at night.
The next week, we appeared in court. (We, because I took the day off school to offer parental support) and the Recorder took a semi-sympathetic view of the incident.
Recorder (after hearing the police disposition) "Is this all true Mr TSB?"
Son: "Yes Sir"
Recorder: "I do hope you've learned your lesson Mr TSB, you cannot flout the court's ruling on your previous disqualification"
Son: "Yes Sir" "Sorry Sir"
Our Lawyer: "I believe that Mr TSB was ashamed of the previous incident Sir, and he tried to hide the disqualification from his parents" His father is court today to offer his support"
|The side of me my pupils see the most|
He gave me an approving glance.
Recorder (to m'son): "Are you still living at home Mr TSB?"
Son: "Yes Sir"
Recorder: "How old are you Mr TSB?"
Son (looking rather shamefacedly at his feet): "26 Sir"
|He'd better damn well move out before he looks like this.|
Son: "Yes Sir, sorry Sir"
M'son paid half of his fine immediately, and promised to pay the balance within one month.
We left and went for a pint (only one; I was driving, and had no intention of appearing in front of this Recorder for DUI)
We went home, and all was sweetness and light.
|That'll teach you.|
I did not want to offer him ANY temptation to re-offend, although I'm sure he won't. He said when he was in court for the first offence, without anyone else in support, was the worst day of his life.
He's obviously never taught a class of feral Year 9s, but he's young.
|Morning kids. Sit down and shut the f*ck up.|
Some of the tarts (ladies of negotiable virtue, for any non-British English speakers) were quite attractive though.
|Hello young lady, can I pay your fine?|