Oh Bugger!

Fear not gentle reader, TSB has not succumbed to the deviant pleasures (if they so exist) in arse-rogering.

Back Home

Last view with morning coffee of Hawkes Bay

Most of the holiday is over now, and I'll be starting back at Nuova Lazio High School next week.

I'm not looking forward to this week.

Only two weeks to go to the end of term, but I feel that this one's going to be bad.

The Best of Times

Two weeks off.

Recognition

At last, my contributions to our school in Nuova Lazio have been recognised.
My years of ceaseless toil in the classroom and office are going to gain me the ultimate accolade,
My sterling qualities of leadership, grammatical fussiness, organisational excellence, duty-dodging without being caught and general rugged good looks have all resulted in a glorious outcome.

My rugged good looks

No, I haven't been appointed an Assistant Principal, or a Deputy Principal.
No, I haven't been given a pay rise or extra holidays.
No, I haven't been crowned "Ultimate Control Freak" by my fellow pedagogical practitioners

My award is much more profound (and satisfying) than any of these.

I found out about my recognition from Wayne, the caretaker at our school, who occasionally teaches music with Colin, our leaf-blowing bassist.  I had just arrived at school at 7:20 am, and had been surprised to see that my usual parking spot under the trees next to the school minibuses had been taken.  It wasn't my spot you understand, only the Principal, DPs and a select few have designated parking spots, but this was the spot I've been using for the last 7 years, and all the staff who drive know it's mine.

I was actually quite surprised by the intensity of the emotions which surged through me when I saw the other car parked in my spot. 

Astonishment; that anyone else would even contemplate using, let alone actually use my spot.
Anger; How dare they use my spot.
Resolution; I'd get my own back, I'd have my revenge for parking on my spot.
Puzzlement; Whose car was it parked on my spot.  I didn't recognise it.
Concern; What if it was a big rugby (probably League)-playing contractor who could snap me like a twig?
Fear; Maybe the car's driver didn't know it was my parking spot.  Maybe It had never been noticed.  Maybe nobody knew or cared what I did..  Maybe nobody knew me.

Wayne was passing by and I asked him whose car it was.


Disaster.  It was the new DP.  I was stuffed.  He could park where he wanted.  He outranked me, and he got in to school just as early.

Then Wayne told me about my recognition.

As from next week I would have a NUMBER.
I would be given (with due ceremony I am sure) a Staff Car Park Sticker, with my own unique number on it.  Wayne and Colin would then paint, with their usual grace, style and attention to detail, my number on my parking spot.
It would be mine for all eternity.  No other mortal would dare use my spot ever again.
The ultimate recognition of indispensability to Nuova Lazio High had been awarded to me.

I was so proud.

Never again would I have to worry about losing my spot.
Never again would I lie awake at nights worrying about the car parking in NLH.
My spot was secure.
Nobody would ever dare as much as set foot on the hallowed ground of my spot.

Unless he was a big rugby (probably League)-playing contractor who could snap me like a twig

A Fair Division of Labour

I recently commented that my beloved objected to my using the Devil's Computer during what little spare time I have.  I just thought I'd share with you all the very equitable division of labour in our household and comment on how it is with your own domestic arrangements.

My Beloved’s Duties	My Duties
Plan Meals	Put groceries in correct place
Buy Groceries	Wash pots and pans
Cook Meals	Load Dishwasher
Dust (once a month)	Empty Dishwasher
Occasional Gardening	Load Washing Machine
Hang up and fold washing	Vacuuming (weekly)
Attend Tai Chi classes	Wash Bathrooms and Toilets (weekly)
Attend flower arranging club	Walk dog
Read books	Bath dog
Watch TV	Car servicing and WOF
	Check ALL cars tyre pressures
	Check ALL cars oil and water levels
	Painting
	Decorating
	Electrical Maintenance and Repair
	Plumbing Maintenance and Repair
	Window Washing
	All Heavy lifting
	All Heavy gardening
	Mowing
	Weed Spraying
	ALL Computer problems
	Explaining how the computer works, re-explaining how to send an email, re-explaining how to download photos from our camera
	Polishing shoes
	Putting clean clothes in drawers and cupboards
	Ironing
	Barbequing
	Mice catching
	Gutter cleaning
	Paying Bills
	Balancing Bank Accounts
	Booking holidays
	Working as a full time teacher from 7:00 until 18:00 5 days a week