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Tuesday, 22 November 2011

It's Strangly Quiet

And I am calm.

Regardless of the strange stresses produced by working on the hyper-tesseract we laughingly call our timetable, I am at one with the Universe and exhibit a bland shell of calm indifference to all of the "slings and arrows of Outrageous fortune" that constantly descend on me in a continual stream.

Some of my colleagues do not seem to be able to read English.

A large sign with the clearly written words:


Is clearly visible on the door of the office we are using, but people breeze in for a quick chat, to pass on a joke or a piece of gossip, or to ask a blindingly obvious question about something else entirely.

At one point, my normally good-natured friend and colleague, who is a whizz when it come to pattern recognition, was in the midst of a complex  mental juggling act, trying to fit one period into a required timetable by moving at least 3 others, when Ringo barged in demanding we change the whole school KAMAR system so that the attendances would work correctly. 

While I was trying to explain that we had fixed it the previous night, I noticed that my mate was beginning to exhibit the first signs of a murderous rage.  Gritting teeth, twitching muscles across his face, protruding eyeballs, the whole works.  While Ringo was wittering on, my fellow timetabler had lost his place in his mental gymnastics, and would have to start again.

I think Ringo was completely unaware of what was going on, in that insufferably self-centered way of his.

Sometimes I think, that deep down, there is a nice bloke inside Ringo.
Maybe I should help the nice bloke to escape.
A hole the size a 12 gauge shotgun makes might be the way to make a start.
If he comes in again I'll be helpful.
Let me help

But I am calm.

I am only teaching 1 hour every other day at the moment, so there isn't that much extra stress.
We start our junior exams on Tuesday, and I'm not completely sure that the exam cover will be as smooth as everyone seems to think.  I've got to give my lovely Year 10s their exam over the next 3 days, and then mark and grade their papers and computer files.
Then I've got to add their grades into the report due in 10 days.
Then I've got to help my colleagues write their bloody comments in the correct place in the computer system.  

Over the last 4 years, we have produced 11 batches of reports, and in every case.someone has typed in their Form Teacher comments in the wrong place, or has forgotten to put in any comments at all, or hasn't entered the exam or assessment grades.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Trying to organise teachers is like trying to herd cats.  Actually it's more like trying to herd deaf, dumb and blind cats, because very often, no matter what you do, they ignore signs and emails, don't listen at briefings or instruction sessions, and don't ask questions to help them understand a problem.

This does not mean that they are quiet, far from it.  Everyone in teaching likes to express their opinions at the top of their voices.  I just wish some of the bast*rds would learn to listen as well.

Especially Ringo.


  1. Poor TSB. That bloody Ringo! How you suffer him. Hint - Try locking the door to your timetabling room!
    Then he might read the notice on it.(Interesting if he can't cos he has a Masters in English Lit). However I get the feeling with Ringo he thinks he is above the law, and that he cand just walkainto any room when he wants. He did this to me many times while I was in teh midst of teaching classes to go and arrest a particular student he was after. He's soooo rude GRrrrrrrr.

    All is quiet here too. No work. Just domestic duties, which have increased with both my young ladies home for the summer. Back to being a Mum again.

  2. John and Paul never really trusted Ringo ...

  3. Hmmn - never thought of the quietness of a strangulation before.

    Oddly - it fits perfectly.

    I wish you'd 'get a grip' perhaps. ou never know - there could even be a promotion in it for you.....

  4. VG: We cannot lock it,we need to get out at frequent intervals to release the stress. I feel a Really Raging Ringo Rant Resuming very soon. It's nice being a Mum.

    Richard [of RBB]: Gosh, you're awake.

    Laoch of C: I agree, Ringo was too much the greasy, smarmy bastard. Too flash. Too many rings. He was the drummer. 'Nuff said.

  5. Alistair: You insightful and observant bastard. Well done.

    Nobody else (including me) spotted that one. Hmmm, it does strangely fit, even though the thought chokes me.
    Funny you should mention promotion.O ne of our DPs announced her move to a posh school next term; but alas, I'm probably too old.

  6. Thanks for the kudos TSB - strangly I did think it probably deliberate.

    You should apply. You may be right although I would have thought your more likely failure criteria to be too bolshy, too, experienced, too good at the job and lacking political correctness and arse-licking qualifications. Still apply though - at the very least it will make those with more 'suitable' CV's need to work a little harder, you'll really enjoy challenging them to come uo with justifiable reasons to give you a body swerve and Ringo will probably be well P'd off with the whole scenario.

  7. Yes TSB you go for it. Never too old. Anyway you are just about doing a DP's job now with the releif managemnet and Timetabling. May as well get more MU'Swhile you can. Very important Strategic mangement roles. Think about being the same rank as Ringo and socking it too him every day. Just the though alone would amke me apply if I was eligible. You are very highly respected at NLHS TSB. Don't you ever ever doubt it.

    BTW which lady DP is going? Is it GA or JM?

  8. Alistair: Don't mention it, I'm strangly embarassed that it was an error and not a deliberate pun. I think you're correct. I'm too much a bloshie bastard to have much of chance. I've been knocked back twice before, and I'm such a quiet insecure chap, that I don't think my ego could stand any more rejections. *sob*

    VG:Yes, telling Ringo to f*ck off would well be worth it, but at the moment, I'm getting 4MUs and I don't have to deal with the endless stream of wild-eyed kids queing up at the doors of the DP's offices. Actually when GA goes, I'm not completely sure that they'll replace her. Not many schools our size have 4 DPs.

  9. Yes I suppose you are right. You don't need the stress. Your a bit like my Dad was I reckon in that you still want to teach kids as well as being a HOF. Thats why he neve bothered becoming a DP or P,
    so he told me.However back then they still had corporal punishment in NZ (they only canned it 20 yers ago woudl you believe). THought it was GA going. She seems the more ambitous one. Got her Masters and now she's off. Good on her. You have a point about the 4 DPs at NLHS. There are 4 at the two colleges I've releived at this year and they both have rolls over 1500. Twice the size of NLHS!


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