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Sunday, 18 March 2012

Getting the Needle

No gentle reader, this is not a rant/vent or even a diatribe against the uncivilized teaching practices here in the Sunny, South Pacific Paradise called New Zealand. (Isn't a 12 hour day, with at least 3 committee meetings a week just a little bit like TOO MUCH F*CKING WORK ?)

Nor is it a screaming response to the complete unfairness of the electoral system which sees the Loony Green Left gaining more power to inflict their vision of Paradise (Cess Pits, Marijuana and banning all of those reprehensible and outdated practice, like being an Omnivore.  Lentils for all)

What's going to happen if they get more power

Nor am I referring to my great friend and respected colleague Ringo (of that ilk) of Nuova Lazio High School.

Ringo is a reformed character.
He no longer walks into a room and immediately interrupts any discussion taking place, he now waits at least 2.34 seconds
He no longer completely ignores you when you pass each other, he now gives a companionable (yet somehow, deprecating) grunt as he passes.
He gets on really, really well, with his little friends (otherwise known as the little shits from Year 11), protecting them from any nasty consequences of their actions.

Nor am I referring to that reprehensible practice of disfiguring the skin of a person; the embedding of noxious and probably toxic stains, inks and dyes under the epidermis. 

The disgusting art of tattooing.

At least M'son's tattoo isn't as bad as this

M'son, who now has three pieces of artwork embellishing his person, may well disagree, but anyone who is happy with his tattooed forearm showing a delightfully rendered image of the Mexican Day of the Dead with the addition of a Chinese script which he was told meant "May the Lord Bless You" but which really says "I've got a Bastard of a Cold" and a circlet of a blurry representation of barbed wire with a f*cking Robin Redbreast round his f*cking ankle doesn't have enough artistic or basic common sense to comment.
Or as bad as this

Or this

Or even this

Nor am I referring to any slight hint of sarcastic/ironic comment originating from my Beloved.

My Beloved is perfect in every way, like all women.

Just perfect

However, my Beloved does have a great deal of skill in her fingers.

I'm not talking any salacious nonsense here.  I'm not referring to any manipulation of any delicate and sensitive parts. (Even though the wish for such manipulation may lie just under the surface of every breathing male)
I'm talking about skill with a needle.

My Beloved spends some of her copious free time (She's got plenty, because apart from the cooking, I do everything else) doing needlework.

Once she's completed it, I frame it up for hanging on the wall, or even make a wooden frame as a fire-screen.

Some she makes into lovely cushion covers.

Here are the latest examples of her work.

And here she is herself.

Love you my Dear.


I know this is bit out of character for TSB.

Showing affection, compassion, AN EMOTION??

Yeah, well as Walt Whitman once said;
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."

I also liked from Whitman;
"I am for those who believe in loose delights, I share the midnight orgies of young men, I dance with the dancers and drink with the drinkers."

He must have been a High School Teacher.
Why not?  She was a High School Teacher, but she was sacked for having a personality


  1. I like the progression of the images (not the women pics I'm talking about the needlework).

    Framing the work without a mat surround makes it looked cramped.
    The 'floating' style of the last couple is good and works better.

  2. Mrs T will have to make a sampler for the baby now (your future grand child). A former neighbour of mine took up needlework when she retired. When my daughters were born she gave them the most beautiful embroidery samplers.
    They are so amazing. All the work that went into them.

  3. Ah, TSB, you're a rough tough cream puff, like my brothers. But don't worry, we won't tell anyone.

  4. TC: Thanks foryour feedback. I was not too sure which method is best, I'll pass your input to my boss.

    VG: A sampler, we've got a complete baby layette already in the chest of drawers.

    Austan: I'm the toughest cream puff that ever was. I can punch my way out of a paperbag.

  5. So can my brother Beery, a Green Beret and NYPD vet. Still, a cream puff.

  6. I like the cushions

  7. Laoch: Thank you. I know it's a bit dated, but what the hell.

    Austan: Yep, the toughest can be the softest, but the softest aren't always the toughest.

    nursemyra: Thank you, I love the cushions. My Beloved has much better colour and dress sense than me, so she's incharge of all decor and soft furnishings. Except the lighting. She seems to think a 200W fluorescent tube is sufficient for all needs.

  8. Good grief - getting sentimental in your dotage old un???


    Oh and by the way - 'Wear a lanyard?'

    {blows a raspberry}



  9. And the most quizzical aren't always the most open-minded. Few things in life are correlative.

  10. Alistair: Yep, I'm becoming a big softie.

    Actually I wasn't joking about the lanyard. I tie my keys to my trouser belt by a big blue lanyard. Not lost one yet.

    Belts AND braces guys,
    Belts AND braces.

    Austan: I'm not quite sure what you mean here. I'm always open to ideas, but they have to be rational and causative.

    My Beloved is a practicing Christian, and even though I think the idea of an invisible omnipotent God is as laughable as the tooth-fairy (and probably a bit less. I still remember the silver threepenny piece I got for my first tooth)I would never ask her to give up her beliefs. Each to their own.

  11. I think you should take up needlepoint , then you can enjoy the activity together.She must have a lot of patience,and good eyesight.I once bought an old chest of drawers at an auction,when I got home found a couple of old framed samplers in the drawer which were probably worth more than the drawers.There's an important lesson to be learnt here,always check your drawers.

  12. Northern Snippet: Nice to hear from you again, so I suppose you haven't burnt the place down yet.

    She does have a lot of patience (she's put up with me for 35 years. HAHAHAHAHA. That's a joke.)

    Thanks for the tip. I'll remember to check my drawers every morning.

    I'll even give them a good waxing every weekend.

  13. I have a soft spot for samplers. Your beautiful wife's specimens are very expensive future antiques, make sure she dates them! That's my profiteering head talking. Nice of you to share such emotion with us. Makes me feel like saying "Awwwww, he is one of us after all"!

  14. And that begs the question of what you deem rational and causative..?

  15. I posted your haiku on colonialist's blog where the contest is. Sometimes it's hard getting on a word press blog. I posted your blog ID in case you put up visuals. Curm

  16. Two Curmudgeons!
    Your wife is very attractive TSB, and she does nice needle work.

  17. Two Curmudgeons!
    Your wife is very attractive TSB, and she does nice needle work.

  18. Austan: A definition of terms. Lovely. No bloody idea. I suppose it may be does the observed phenomenon obey natural laws, is it repeatable, is it predictable.

    Curmudgeon: Thank you. I wasn't even going to put it in the contest as I'm not completely sure what the standard Haiku template is. You're right about the difficulty though. I tried to put a comment on nursemyra's blog, and it wouldn't let me.

    YONKS: oops, sorry, I got the order wrong this time. Thank you for your kind comments. My Beloved does work a date into each one, although I can't ever see them being sold as m'daughter has first dibs if/when we shuffle off.

    What do you mean by "one of us"?

    A cringing, simpering emotional wreck?
    A bloke who has been hiding his gentle, vulnerable core from the cruel, cruel world for over 50 years?
    An antiques dealer?

    Richard: I know. I refer to them as The Curmudgeon and The Other Curmudgeon. An embarrassment of riches really. Thanks for the compliment; I'll pass them on when she's in a better mood. Seemingly i was snoring worse than usual last night.

  19. Dear Twisted, Glad to see you take an interest in life. Lindaxxx

  20. Patience_crabstick: Thanks, the cushions geometric design is curiously relaxing. Forsome reason I fall asleep every time I use them on the couch.

    Linda in Chile: Always. Unfortunately, Life isn't always interested in me.


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