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Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Congee, comfort and a wrecked fence.


My Beloved is a superb cook. Even though at the moment she has a major health issue (semi-continuous nausea) she always has a hot and delicious meal waiting for me when I arrive home.

Today was a strange day.

Only 2 staff missing and both planned for, so everything seemed rather easy at the start. All the relief was ready, so no stress in the morning.


Apart from Ringo, who grunted his usual "TSB" when I gave him a cheery "Good Morning" I wonder if he is telepathic.

Only two spells teaching this morning (I should explain that due to the influence of a previous member of the senior management who was so f*cking PC that she couldn't bring herself to say the actual word PERIOD in front of the kids, we were all told to use the word "spell" meaning a teaching session lasting approximately 1 hour. I mean what the hell happens in Science?

I kid you not. Someone out there is as sick as me.  But not s good at punctuation.  Wife's you idiot.

Science Teacher "A diurnal period is ..."
Students "Gasp" *faint in horror*

Science Teacher " The orbital period is..."
Students "Gasp" *faint in horror*

Science Teacher "The Periodic Table..."
Students "Gasp" *faint in horror*

Can you imagine it carried to the extreme?

Science Teacher: "After the period of menstruation has finished..."
Students "Gasp" *cut own throats in embarrassed shame*

Get a grip. Many of these kids have been having sex since they were 14. They know.

However.

I felt as odd as this guy looks.

At lunchtime I was feeling a little odd. We had been offered a free Influenza vaccination and as a Scot, intrinsically unable to refuse anything actually guaranteed FREE, I had accepted.

I wasn't feeling very well.

My arm was very tender, and I was feeling a bit feverish.

At 4:15, far earlier than my normal escape leaving time, I headed home.

As I turned into the driveway, I could see for the first time the damage the Mah Jong ladies had done to my hedge and Rhododendron.

Then I saw my fence.
What it used to look like

One of the stupid bloody biddies had reversed into my rather fragile latticework fence, embedded into the hedging. It was completely f*cked.

What it looks like now

I was not a happy bunny when I went indoors.

But my Beloved made all right.

She had made a dish of congee for our evening meal (I say our in referring to m'son and I. My beloved had her usual two mini-crackers and a sliver of cheese which would disappear in a mild zephyr)

Congee is a type of rice porridge.

Don't think of it as any relation to the porridge made from oats which is a traditional Scottish breakfast dish.

It is rice, pork stock, minced pork, leeks, shallots and spirng onions. All simmered gently together for a couple of hours.

Served with chilli in soy sauce, it is a comforting, filling, warming and mouth filling meal.

I was so comforted that I didn't even get my trusty 7.62 messenger of Death out of storage to deal with the incompetent idiot who had wrecked my fence.

I was so comforted that I didn't even mention the wrecked fence to my Beloved.

I didn..... I sleep.

I slept the sleep of the ill yet internally comforted.

I wonder if these would help?

Ok.

I admit it.

I did have a "wee sensation of the crautur" before dinner, but just a wee one. And just the two.

I slept.

Dreaming of Ringo drowning in congee.

Sink you BASTARD, SINK


I was content.

Contentment is in the eye of the beholder.
Or
The shorts of the bolder.

11 comments:

  1. Patience_Crabstick: Thank you, so do I.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TSB can you please explain what exactly is on that plate in the picture?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Twisted, I love congee too! It is an ultimate comfort food. I hope both you and Mrs T are feeling better. Lindaxxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. VG: I'm not sure whichpalte you're talking about.

    it's either a palte of congee (see the link to the recipe)or it's a plate of fried placenta.

    LiC: Yes, we're both feeling better. Mrs. TSB had a good nag at me this afternoon, which lifed her woman attitude to new and (probably)better heights, and I had another (stolen) bowl of congee, which both made me feel better and gave her an excuse to have a quick nag at me.

    What's the point in leaving food on the stove?

    Isn't that an obvious gesture of invitation to eat it?

    I ask you.

    Women!

    ReplyDelete
  5. sorry about all the typos. The 'flu vaccine effect is in resurgence, as is the whisky effect.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh no, the dreaded flu vaccine, always gets me too. Hope you feel better soon. The medicinal dram is definitely in order. Happy winter, o you get any snow where you are?
    Di
    X

    ReplyDelete
  7. Snow - we did last winter in our area - very very unusual. But later in the winter and was much later in the season. Winter has'nt started yet. Another lovely balmy autumn day here today.

    Fried placenta! Ah now I thought there was something slightly familiar looking there, not that I ever ate my baby's placentas. Just had a look at them out of interest.

    ReplyDelete
  8. YONKS: I'm looking forward to my dose of Scottish medicine.
    We don'tnormally get much snow, last year was the first snow for many years. It gets chilly in the mornings, with the occasional frost, but it's normally nice and warm most afternoons.

    ABSOLUTELY nothing like Scottish winters, which is why Scots invented whisky. It kept us alive during the rigours of the season.


    VG: One job I had was to collect placentas from the maternity wards to analyse them for hormone levels. I stongly suspect that the boss of the lab sold them to cosmetic companies after we had finished the assays.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 'Shorts of the bolder'.....


    Incorrigible. Period!

    Look like good quality shorts tho'.....

    ReplyDelete
  10. Alistair: Glad you liked them.
    I think.
    Have you told the lovely G about your short fetish?
    or is it your fetish shorts?

    ReplyDelete

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