Just to keep the causal symmetry of the Universe balanced, I suppose I'd better mention the Things I really, really wish I hadn't DONE.
Getting up in the middle of the night and remembering that I hadn't brushed my teeth, Trying to avoid waking my Beloved form her deeply-deserved slumbers, I put the toothpaste on the toothbrush and commenced to brush. For your information, a tube of Anusol ("Preparation H" to any readers from the USA) feels very similar to toothpaste, but I can assure you from the bottom of my now-malfunctioning taste buds, that it has a very, very different taste and effect. The good news is that my gums no longer bleed.
|Do NOT confuse with toothpaste|
|Do NOT confuse with Anusol|
I indulged in Rum and Blackcurrant
I indulged in Pimms and Gin
I indulged in Martini and Vodka
And finally I indulged in Creme de Menthe.
I suspect it was the green stuff that did me in. I remember re-decorating the tiles of the roof (we were in attic rooms of an old, converted SS barracks) with copious amounts of lime-green vomit. Never touched the stuff again. Ever.
|It's the creme de Menthe|
Buying m'son a car
Telling the truth to the IRD
Telling the truth to the DHSS (Department of Health and Social Security) when I was made redundant.
Eating about two Donner Kebabs before a very toxic Vindaloo curry and 6 pints of lager in Glasgow.
Using a public toilet in Glasgow after the Kebab and Vindaloo without checking if there was any toilet paper stocked.
Staying with the same f*cking Building Society for 8 years then finding out that loyalty in business no longer exists when they refused me a Mortgage.
Buying 3 handmade suits in Bangkok without checking for references or being fully aware of the exchange rate. (They still fit. Even now, when I'm about 30 kg heavier. I never threw them away, especially after I figured out how much they cost)
Watching my Beloved give birth. Twice. (I give eternal thanks to the Universal Principal that I'm a close facsimile of a male)
Giving myself a haircut at 2am after a night on the town with one of those razor-blades-in-a-comb. The closest I can describe the effect is if you can imagine a cat with the mange that's been assaulted by a Doberman while catching a weasel equipped with both a lawn mower and a flamethrower. There was blood involved.
Ah well, we live and learn.