Greed

Last weekend was our 40th Wedding Anniversary, and before any of you readers (if there be any) clutch your chest in shock and alarm, I can reassure you, I did remember it.

A Big List

I kid you not.  The girl in the bikini has a list of new domain names written on her for an auction.
The company is GoDaddy

I've got a big list of things I must do today.

Shaving a Shin

No, no, you're not mis-reading the title, nor have I mis-typed it.  It does say Shaving a Shin.

Lust

I saw it yesterday, and I can't get it out of my skull.

Congee, comfort and a wrecked fence.

My Beloved is a superb cook. Even though at the moment she has a major health issue (semi-continuous nausea) she always has a hot and delicious meal waiting for me when I arrive home.

Bored and Bloated

I'm bored.

I've Got A Problem (Part the First)

The problem is that I quite like Christmas.

Beware

The news that a healthy NZ Fur Seal was shot dead on a beach near Foxton should be making many teachers, bureaucrats and politicians very nervous.

The Delights of Cottage Cheese

Last night on the TV, an advert came on for Cottage Cheese and it included a competition asking for the best Cottage Cheese recipe, so here's mine.

Ethics, Love and Dinner.

I love my Beloved.

Every day, in many ways I demonstrate my devotion to my Beloved.

Dolls

I finished a long term restoration on a chaise-lounge which we keep in the bedroom.

France

This Sunday, the Pride of New Zealand; The All Blacks, face the perfidious French in the RWC® final.

Love, Affection and Saturated Fats

I love my Beloved.

My Beloved loves me.

Simple Pleasures

Sitting on my front deck, watching the sky change colour as the sunrise begin

Scottish Diet

Scotland

One of the better things to come out of the damned Rugby World Cup® is the suddenly fierce competition between our school staff to outdo each other.

Eggs

My son dragged me out of bed this morning at 5:40.

Bad Weather

The rain was so heavy on Sunday morning that we didn't go to the Wairarapa.  I cancelled the booking at the Tirohana Estate, and gave my son the option of going somewhere else, or trying again for the Wairarapa next week.  He chose to go to Wellington to try out La Boca Roca in Miramar.

This is a small Mexican themed cafe/bistro.  We found it OK in Park St., but it was undergoing some renovation, and they only had 4 tables available, plus the long counter.  The food was Ok, but not spectacular.  My son chose an extra side of ceviche (raw fish in lime juice) which my beloved also tried. I didn't.  I don't eat any type of animal raw.  I'm a microbiologist.  I know what can exist in raw meats.

Then we headed over to Lambton Quay and had desert and coffee at Bordeaux Bakery.

Then back home to a gentle afternoon of wine, rugby, and a good book.

Until.

About 6 o'clock, my beloved and my son began to feel a little nauseous and by 9 they were both throwing up. 
See.

Never eat raw fish.

Add in the intestinal explosion that was my ongoing post-Aussie parasitic infection and we were a very happy family.

I do wish however that we had another toilet.
My beloved wishes for it even more so. 
It cannot be very pleasant throwing up down a toilet 5 minutes after I've finished spray-painting it.

I leave the details to the now-nauseated reader.

Back to school.

Anchovies

Every time I leave Nuova Lazio High to head home, I send a text message to my beloved, telling her of my love, devotion and hunger. 
This efficient method of communication ensures we keep in touch and also that my Dinner is ready when I get home. (Please understand that this is in no way an order to my beloved to MAKE FOOD, just a gentle transfer of information and intent)

Just a bit Corny

As I think I've mentioned before, my beloved is a great cook, and when I return to the family home at night, after leaving that educational hell we laughingly call Nuova Lazio High, I can always look forward to a tasty and substantial meal.

However, the years of consuming all of this wonderful food has had an effect on my waistline.  For some strange reason, it has expanded over the years, and we recently decided to cut back a bit, and perhaps take more exercise.  (whisper: actually it wasn't "we", I was told that my beloved doesn't fancy a long extended widowhood, and that I'd better, for the sake of my health, start losing weight)

Last night as I arrived home, I could smell something strange, something different.  Could it be?...  Was it really?.... Yes, it was.  I could smell frying.

Our frying pan isn't used that much anymore, and to tell the truth, fatty food now gives me incredible indigestion, although I still crave the occasional bacon in a roll for breakfast.  But this didn't smell like bacon, so what was it?  I got changed into traditional kiwi garb for home ware (T-shirt  and shorts) and went into the kitchen.

Pancakes.  Pancakes?...for dinner?

I must have muttered something, because my beloved whacked me with the spatula.  "We're having corn fritters" she told me.

She served up these fritters with a little salad, some of our homegrown tomatoes, and pieces of poached salmon.  Really tasty, but the corn fritters were addictive.  They didn't taste fatty or greasy (my beloved wisely using the minimum of vegetable oil when she cooked them) and had a surprising crunch as they were eaten. (I believe the water chestnuts cause this lovely texture.)  My beloved made quite a few extra, most consumed by our son when he came home a bit later.  All the extra, uneaten fritters slowly disappeared from the fridge over the course of the evening, so my beloved's intent, to decrease my trouser size, was largely defeated, but I don't really care, and I will urge her to make the corn fritters again soon.

Here's the recipe. These type of fritters do not deep fry well, so only shallow fry in a minimum of oil.

Fridge Raiding has some odd effects

Enjoy.  (Eating them from the fridge in the middle of the night, with an extra dusting of salt and pepper adds a superb piquancy)



Corn Fritters

420g can Corn Kernels (drained)
310g can Creamed Corn
4 eggs
230g can chopped Water Chestnuts (drained)
½ cup finely chopped Basil leaves
¾cup Self Raising Flour
salt and pepper to taste
Vegetable oil for frying

Place corn kernels, creamed corn, water chestnuts, the eggs and Basil leaves in a large bowl
Mix well
Season with Salt and Pepper
Gradually whisk in flour until well blended

Heat a little oil in frying pan
Cook fritters in batches, using ¼ cup of batter for each fritter
Fry until Golden Brown on each side
Drain on absorbent paper

Serve with salad of greens, basil and bean shoots

The Wonders of Mince

I've noticed recently, that on quite a few blogs, domestic Goddesses and Gods display their expertise in the kitchen and discuss recipes for their favourite foods. Hestia's recent and very interesting post on the "Flavour Thesaurus" is a case in point.

But we married men are not completely incapable in a kitchen setting, and in the past, when my beloved has had to leave me alone with our kids, I have been perfectly capable of providing tasty and nutritious meals to keep us going until my beloved returned to the family home.

However, I have always been a believer in efficiency, and see no reason to exert myself un-needlessly (my beloved refers to this excellent character trait as bone idle, or lazy, but I think she's just jealous of my powers of energy conservation), so I always plan my week's cooking in advance. 

Here's my menus for the week, including recipes, so that you to can benefit from my energy saving methodologies, and so you can devote the saved time for your own essential projects like beer drinking, reading and dozing in front of the TV.

Monday:  Mince and Tatties

Buy 5 - 10kg (depending on how hungry you are at the moment of purchase) of best mince from the supermarket.  DO NOT buy the well advertised low-fat variety, they may be supposedly more healthy, but lack real depth of flavour.  I suggest that you also buy 4 tins of canned tomatoes, 2 tins of borlotti beans and at least 10 kg of potatoes.

Brown the mince in a pan using a little oil.  (Do not try and brown all 5 kg of mince at once, as this requires excessive stirring, and may cause a future weakness in your beer-drinking hand.)
Peel, chop and slice 5 large onions, and soften in a little oil in a large stock pot.
Wash hands thoroughly and have a beer to wash away any lingering irritation form the onion vapours.
When onions are softened and just starting to brown, add all of the browned mince.
Peel chop and dice 4 large carrots and add to pot.
Add 4-12 dried Bay leaves, a large pinch of dried Thyme or Sage, or any other dried herb (the green stuff) that you can find in your beloved's herb/spice drawer.  (WARNING. Powdered cinnamon or mace does not really work, but cloves add an interesting taste dimension)
Add salt and black pepper (ground) to taste.
Add a pint of boiling water and simmer for 1 hour, stirring occasionally
Peel and boil 5 kg of potatoes until cooked.
Have another beer or two now.  I find that it helps in timing the meal, having a beer between each visit to the pot for the occasional stir aids the process. You can also check the potatoes progress at the same time.  (See Ladies, efficiency, always efficiency.)
Put a serving (about half a packet) of frozen peas in a bowl in the microwave, and start 5 minutes before serving.
Serve mince and boiled potatoes to family. Make the effort to display the meal attractively.  Flowers in an empty beer on the dinner table can add a certain ambiance.
Instruct offspring to wash the curiously large number of pots, pans, plates, bowls which have accumulated during the cooking process, and have another well-earned beer, you deserve it, especially as you've done 80% of the work for the week.  Have another beer (wine optional) before staggering off to bed, but make sure the lid is firmly on the mince pot.  Resist the urge to make a large mince sandwich, as you will be need  the remaining mince for the week's meals.

Tuesday:  Savoury Mince

Peel and boil 5 kg of potatoes
Peel and crush 6 large garlic cloves, and fry gently in some oil.
Add to the mince from Monday and heat gently until simmering.
Add two tablespoons of Worcester sauce (Lee and Perrins is the best)
Beer time
Put a serving (about half a packet) of frozen peas in a bowl in the microwave, and start 5 minutes before serving.

When the potatoes are cooked, drain an and allow to dry for 5 minutes.
Mash violently, add ½ kg of salted butter, cream and milk and keep pounding.  Using power tools from the garage at this stage can make this boring and repetitive job much more interesting. I've noticed that using the 30,000 rpm wood router for this job speeds it up remarkably, and can also be used in quickly redecorating the kitchen walls with interesting and random patterns.
Serve the savoury mince and creamed potatoes to family. Make the effort to display the meal attractively. Flowers in an empty beer on the dinner table can add a certain ambiance.

Instruct offspring to wash the curiously large number of pots, pans, plates, bowls which have accumulated during the cooking process (not forgetting the walls if you used the router), and have another well-earned beer, you deserve it, especially as you've done 85% of the work for the week. Have another beer (wine optional) before staggering off to bed, but make sure the lid is firmly on the mince pot. Resist the urge to make a large mince sandwich, as you will be need the remaining mince for the week's meals.

Wednesday: Spaghetti Bolognase

Heat the mince and bring to the simmer.
Add the 4 cans of peeled and chopped tomatoes
Peel crush and fry another 4 cloves of garlic, and add to mince
Add 4 Bay leaves
Add ½ bottle of good red wine
Add a tube of tomato puree concentrate
Finely chop a bunch of fresh Basil and add to pot, simmer for 30 minutes.
Have a beer, and/or finish off remaining wine
Put on a large pot of water to boil
Have a beer
Add sufficient amount of spaghetti for family to gently boiling water.  (I have absolutely no idea how much spaghetti is enough.  I generally just grab a big handful for each participant, but it always ends up as either too much or too little.  Always add more than you think you'll really need.  That's what the dog's for)
When aldente, drain, allow to air dry for 3-4 minutes (1 can of beer) and serve with generous helpings of the mince Bolognase sauce.
I recommend using large bowls, and removing the table cloth before the meal
Instruct offspring as above, and have another well-earned beer, you deserve it, especially as you've done 90% of the work for the week. Have another beer (wine optional) before staggering off to bed, but make sure the lid is firmly on the mince Bolognese pot.

Thursday: Lasagna

Heat the mince Bolognese sauce and bring to the simmer.
Add ½ bottle of good red wine
Have a beer, and/or finish off remaining wine
Layer Lasagna sheets with the mince Bolognese sauce in a well buttered dish
Have a beer
Then you either:

1. Make a Bechamel Sauce
2. Buy a packet of Bechamel Sauce mix and follow instructions
3. Buy one of those fancy freshly pre-made Bechamel sauces from the deluxe end of the supermarket
4. Buy a carton of custard and add cheese.  (Not really recommended, caused a tendency to vomit amongst the offspring, but that might have been due to me forgetting to add the cheese last time.  Worth experimenting with though.  Try it with more Bay Leaves and dried Sage)

Pour the sauce/custard over the layers of Lasagna and mince Bolognese sauce.
Pop in the oven for 1 hour at  hottish temperature, not forgetting to scatter ample amounts of grated cheese on top of the dish before putting it in.
Have beers/glasses of wine while waiting.
Serve with a green salad, or just serve if you don't like rabbit food, or if you've had too much beer/wine to find the bloody green stuff.
Instruct offspring as above, and have another well-earned beer, you deserve it, especially as you've done 95% of the work for the week. Have another beer (wine optional) before staggering off to bed, but make sure the lid is firmly on the mince Bolognese pot.

Friday: Chili con mince Carne

Heat the mince Bolognese sauce and bring to the simmer.
Add ½ bottle of good red wine
Have a beer, and/or finish off remaining wine
Peel and chop another onion , brown and add to the pot
Open, drain and add the two cans of beans.
Add sufficient dried chili flakes (or fresh diced chili if you're feeling frisky. 
CAUTION If you use fresh chilis, do not:

1. Rub eyes
2. Scratch sensitive areas
3. Go to the toilet

unless you've thoroughly washed hands.  Use beer to wash, but don't waste.  Drink what's left.
Boil enough rice (about a tea cup per person) do not add sugar.  This is not a rice pudding.  It does not go with chili.. i know. I've tried it when I used 3 tins of creamed rice because I'd forgotten to get enough dry rice.  Believe me, it DOES NOT WORK.
 
Have another beer
Serve all the remaining mince Bolognase Chili in bowls over the boiled rice.  Tortilla chips optional.  Add grated cheese to taste.
Instruct offspring as above, and have another well-earned beer, you deserve it, especially as you've done all of the work for the week. Have another beer (wine optional) before staggering off to bed, but make sure the kitchen is clean and tidy.
 
 

Saturday:  Fish & Chips.


For some reason, my offspring gave a huge cheer when I arrived home with the Fish & Chips from the local chippy.  Can't understand why.  They've had a different, well balanced meal every day.  Sometimes there's no pleasing the younger generation.

Sunday: Steak

Steaks, Barbie, Wine.
No further explanation should be needed.  Beer is optional on Sundays.
Kids seemed to really enjoy it.  Daughter mentioned something about having to get her cholesterol checked.  Ridiculous she's only in her 20s, why should she need her cholesterol level checked?
Must be a hypochondriac (like her Mum)
 
Monday, my beloved returned home.  Offspring smothered her in kisses, hugs and affection.
 
Nice to see how how much they love their Mum.
 
Went through the traditional post-excursion debrief.  No (real) worries.

 I did notice that night, the kids were very emotional when my beloved served them up a simple Chinese stir fry chicken. 

No imagination. 

Pretty simple.