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Friday, 30 December 2011

Bored and Bloated

I'm bored.

I've flown my remote controlled rotary flight evaluation model until the little shit machine (The dog, not m'son) grabbed it and bit of the tail.
I've got the iPod working to Window's satisfaction.
I've just given the woodwork it's second coat of Danish Oil.
I've finished all of my nuts (cashews and Beer nuts) I got in my stocking.
I've finished about half of the Ham my Beloved cooked for Christmas, and I really cannot take anymore; I get a dry retch just thinking about pigs.
The salamis, cured meats, cheeses, pates, smoked salmon and Rillette are all finished, as are all of the sourdough artisan breads and butter.
There is nothing but unadulterated crap on TV, and the DVD m'son bought me (Toy Story 3) is asinine and predictable.

All of the films and programs recorded on our Telstra T box are either crap, or I've seen them before.

Even the all-time classic of Die Hard can become a little predictable after the 6th viewing, as does Cannonball Run II.

Predictable, but moderately funny (plus lots of pretty girls in very tight clothes)

I'm bored.

I tried listening to the audio book (Tom Clancy's Executive Orders) I managed to transfer onto the iPod, but my Beloved said I was being antisocial.

I managed to smuggle myself out of our family room, into our computer room, to "answer some emails" while I write this.

I'm bored.

How in Hell can I be bored with such a plethora of technology surrounding me, devoted to my entertainment and education?

Simple answer.

I'm not "allowed" to use it because it's antisocial.

I'm bored.

I'm also bloated. I think all of the ham is converting to methane.

I think my next post will be about the classification of Ham Farts.

NOTE: NEVER Fart in a wetsuit.


  1. Crashed and broke my helicopter too.....


    Antisocial? And making him stay where he don't want to be is - what exactly Mrs Beloved? Be careful or you're going to lose that B for b again!!!

  2. You broke the toy helecopter? Well, I suppose that, if the rotor blades still work, you could use it as a fan. Think outside the square TSB.

  3. Alistair: You too? Damned shame. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.

    Now, now, Mrs TSB is a cheerful, caring, loving and absolutely delightful Beloved. It says so on her label.

    Patience_Crabstick: Actually, I quite enjoyed the original Toy Story, but the third iteration had to much synthetic schmalz to let me really enjoy it. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, suffering from Ham poisoning, so I'll try it again sometime next week.

    Richard [of RBB]: I didn't break the remote controlled rotary flight evaluation model, the dog bit off it's tail. I'll fix it with a piece of Number 8 wire tomorrow. We TSBs don't give up so easily.

  4. Get in her way and make whatever she's doing more of a mess by "helping". She'll tell you to get lost and you'll be free to go play. Happy New Year!!

  5. I'm bored too TSB. I think the rain has something to do with it also, limiting ones scope of activites to participate in.
    Actually if I get much more bored I may have to drag my beloved to he local for a pint. That's being social. Otherwise he will spend all day on the computers in our house. That's anti-social.

    Fear not TSB the local library is still open today. Better get there quick and pick up some new reading material. ANd you can use thier internet and wireless for free (Up to a time limit). Blog your heart out there.

  6. At first appalled and then intrigued by the thought of ham-farts I Googled it and discovered a whole lot of discussion and videos (mostly puerile) on the subject.
    The 'gold' in my search though was this clip.

  7. Whilst sitting at perfect attention to show fealty to my family, I would probably play chess with myself in my head.

  8. Austan: Absolutely Great Idea. I'll tell her you told me to do it.

    VG:Thanks, but my supplies of alcohol are quite satisfactory, and if I go out there's always the chance I'll be asked to actually BUY a drink. *gag*

    Wine Guy: That video is just wrong. Just wait until my next post.

    Laoch of Chicago: No offence, but that's just weird.


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