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Thursday, 1 December 2011

It's that time of the bloody year again

Look you poor sods who live in the Northern Hemisphere, this is our Christmas scene.  Depressing, isn't it?

It's December.

Only 24 days to the dreaded day and I've got a bad attack of Humbug. 
It was 23ÂșC outside yesterday evening. 
There was barely a cloud in the deep blue evening sky and some f*cking idiot was singing  Frosty the F*cking Snowman while he cut his lawn. 
Doesn't he know that the bloody song is infectious? 
Once it gets in, it just sits there and occupies valuable brain space, causing intermittent flashbacks of jam packed elevators during Christmas Eve shopping

Here's a list of the Christmas songs I would like to see being more popular

Lets see your nose go Red now,you big lump of venison

  • Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer is hanging from my gutting rack
  • White Christmas means bad driving conditions
  • I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause, now they're getting a divorce after I told Daddy.
  • Little Bummer Boy
  • Mary's Boy Child is a Bastard
  • Do They Know it's Christmas, or are they just f*cking thick?
  • Mistletoe and Whine
  • Do they still not know it's Christmas the stupid sh*ts.(You've got to give it to Band Aid, the bastards never learn)
  • Let it go, let it go, let it go
  • Winter Wonderland; White Death for the Elderly.

  • Hark, The Herald Angels are just a figment of your imagination
  • Away In A Manger, Awaiting pickup by Child Services
  • Good King Wenceslas was a typical royal parasite with a stupid unpronounceable name.
  • I Shot the Fat Bastard Off of my Roof

And finally, only to be sung in Nuova Lazio High School,


  1. Looks like you're really getting into the Christmas spirit TSB.
    Personally I've always liked the song that mentions an Auckland newspaper... "Hark, The Herald."
    In the past I've read and reread that newspaper looking for meaningful messages.
    I wonder why there isn't a Christmas song about The Dominion Post, or Nuova Lazio's City Life paper?

  2. I'm really trying, especilly after the Gym Lady told me off publicly for being a lazy good-for-nothing tosspot in front of all of the staff.

  3. I've a touch of that too.
    Anticipating the influx of inexperienced seasonal diners for their one trip out of the year,not sure of the protocol so they get bladdered and leery instead,the final insult being the disgraceful tip.
    Re the songs,may I add:'When Santa got stuck up the chimney,no one heard him shout so he stayed there'
    Its freezing here BTW.

  4. Northern Snippet: Oh goodness, I forgot how trying it must be in the catering/entertainment industry at this time of the year.

    I also forgot about that song. I'm still trying to forget that song.

    Sorry about the cold, but at least in deepest Northumberland you've got a good chance of a white christmas.

    I think my Beloved is planning a barbie on the beach.

    Just promise me that you're not playing christmas muzak in the pubs.

  5. Looks like northern Mexico in Winter. :/ Facebook Twitter

  6. Totally agree with you TSB about those carols / christmas songs. They really thrash them this time of year. IN NZ "Snoopy's Christmas" by the Royal Guardsmen -a 1 hit wonder from the 1960's really really gets thrashed. Every year since it first came out. And as for Cliff Richard - barf.

    Anyway chin up old chap - you should be rejoicing in commencing the Final Countdown for the acadmeic Year. ONLY 7 more sleeps and it will be all over rover for another year.

  7. My 2 Pesos: Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment.I've never been to America, North or SOuth, but I always thought Northern Mexico was hot and dry all year round.

    VG: I know, those songs just make me depressed. Unfortunately, the powers that be have been dropping hnts about staying later and coming bak earlier to do some fine tuning on the timetable.

    Haveyou tried singing the Ringo song yet?

  8. Love your faith based connect the dots!

  9. Patience_Crabstick: Thanks, I actualy copied it off the web, but to me it shows the causal blindness of the religious fanatic.

  10. emishTSB I would have a crack at singing the Ringo song if I knew howthe tune went. Like give me a its alkiek to something more familiar. I really can't imagine it right now. Too tired.
    Been out all day for the 2nd day in a row helpign my daughter deliver CookieTime christmas cookies (oneof her summer holdiay jobs). I hate those cookies. They ahve taken over my house, my garage, my cars, my computer, my fax,my phone. Bloody everything. Then I have to help the wee dear count up her takings, and help balance her accounts. Never again. Then the bloody car died on me this arvo. Ran the battery flat with short runs and keeping the fan going to cool me down. God bless the AA though. They came to my rescue once again. Alsa another two weeks of this to put up with.
    The things we do for love.

  11. Sorry that was me. I'm a bit tired and abit useless at thsi posting comments crap.

  12. Anon: Have you been on the sauce again dear girl? We can always tell those who are a bit "tired"; their spelling and grammar goes to sh*t.

    Have a wee rest. Eat a cookie. Drink more of the nectar.


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