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Saturday 12 May 2012

Turkey


Gobble-gobble (Which is turkey speak for WTF is that red thing hanging down over my eyes)


Turkey is one of those words which can have many contextual meanings.

Probably the most widely used refers to the large bird of the genus Meleagris, originally from North America, but now common as a domestic fowl around the world.

When I was a boy, Turkey was virtually unknown on dinner tables at Christmas, where chicken was the usual choice, and it wasn't until the mid 80s that it really became popular in Scotland.

I must admit, although the meat is plentiful, it doesn't taste as pleasant (it's far to dry and bland) to me as a good roast chicken,  I used to (and still do) love the side dishes.  The chipolata sausages, the roast potatoes and parsnips, the buttered sprouts, the fantastic gravy, and of course, the magnificent bread sauce.


The bread sauce has caused a few heated arguments chez TSB, and I've referred to it a few times before, so I won't bore you with another repetition.  Let's just say that I get a wee bit grumpy if bread sauce, PROPER home-made bread sauce, does not make its essential appearance at the Christmas Dinner table. 
Actually, my Beloved didn't use the word grumpy. 
She selected and used rather more evocative words that time. 
Words I cannot bring myself to repeat in case I shock any readers of a more delicate constitution.


However, back to Turkey.

Another use of the word also comes from the USA.  Turkey can be used to describe a person or thing of little appeal; dud; loser.

I can think of a few people who could be described thus


Guess who?

Again from the USA, but widely used elsewhere, it can be used  in the theatrical sense as a show which flopped.



But the largest use of the word is probably to describe the country.  Jammed between Europe and Asia, with Greece on the North, Syria and Iraq to the south, Turkey is a land full of contradictions, with a mostly Muslim population but a secular (for the moment) government. 
 
 
It's also full of people who like me.
 
I have no idea why I'm becoming popular in the Republic of Turkey, but I know, and can prove that I am.
 
Every now and then, when I gain a few moments of peace in this madhouse we call Nuoava Lazio High School, I check my wee blog.  Today I checked the Stats.
 
WTF
 
460 hits in one day, on one page.  All from Turkey. (For those of you who have never looked at that area of Blogger, go into the dashboard and look at audience, with the Day button selected at the top right.  You will be shown a map of the world, with the biggest audience countries colour-coded green.
 
I saw this.
 
That green blob in the middle is Turkey.

The other slightly paler green-shaded countries, the USA, UK, Canada, India?, Aussie and NZ. I somewhat expected most of them, although I must admit India was a bit of a surprise.

But Turkey???

More investigation was needed.

They were all (or mostly all) looking at an old and quite short (for me) post from April last year.

I had noticed a sudden upswing in hits on the blog and was a bit dismayed that not that many left a comment, so I decided to put a special page up, just to ask casual viewers to leave a comment.
 


Any sort of comment.

I was expecting a few "Great, keep it up", 
even some "What a load of crap"
and probably a "Piss of you atheist bastard, your going to burn in Hell" (I've noticed that for some reason, the religious nutters cannot spell or punctuate.)

I got nothing.

But I've got 460 hits on that page.

From Turkey.

I can't figure it out.

Have a look and maybe tell me what you think is causing this phenomenon.

The page is Would you bastards viewers please leave some sort of comment.

I just don't know.


BTW, as I used the spellchecker before releasing these words to the world (and Turkey), I spotted a mistake.  Well actually the blog interface spotted it and highlighted it yellow.

The word it spotted was dsimayed, so I clicked on it to select dismayed, but it also offered an alternative word.  It offered  TACHOMETER

Sometimes I just don't understand.

32 comments:

  1. How interesting! I checked my blog stats, and though vastly much humbler in number, they also record a following in India. No Turkey, but I score in Colombia! The refering blogs are interesting too.Second Fiddle is the major source of my flow - God bless him, I think he's my only link!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hiya Tracey, I reckon India is high on most od our stats because of their high ratio of English speakers and a high number of computer users.

      I'm not too sure about Colombia.
      Do you have a lot of comments about Cocaine?

      I used to visit Second a lot, but because he kept on deleting his entire blog, including some many hard-crafted comments, I stopped visiting.

      Delete
  2. Maybe "dsimayed" is Turkish for "Panties."

    My blog is popular in the Netherlands for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Panties? Panties? Why would anyone be looking for panties on anything I've posted?
      *attempts look of hurt innocence*

      Maybe _Crabstick has another meaning in Dutch. Maybe something like seafood phallus?

      Delete
  3. It seems my blog is popular in the old Soviet Union. Makes sense, what with the regular mention of German bows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Richard. I think that you'll find that most Russians hate the guts of Germans since the last unpleasantness in 1941. Turning Germans into bows might however be a popular concept.

      Delete
  4. I think that people named Imayed (and there are millions of them througout the Muslem world, look for themselves on Google. Imagine their surprise and ever-living shame at being directed to your blog via your misspelled link. Then again by looking at your blog these fundamentalist Muslems probably convert and are now onanistic shells of their former selves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is too much rich texture here to comment on. Plus of course the fact that I have no idea what you're on about.

      Maybe I should add some veils to increase the chance of onanism.

      BTW, I thought eery boy who went to Catholic school was indoctrinated against the sins on Onan.

      Delete
  5. A couple of thousand people in Canada like (or hate) me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that is strange.

      Maybe they think a Curmudgeon is a type of Moose.

      Delete
  6. The Wine Guy, is onanistic your new word? You've used it a bit lately.
    Comeinyourpants, it's a blessing if anyone reads your blog. I keep falling asleep when I try.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Richard, please don't slag of TC or TWG, Since the Turks have disappeared, I need every reader I can get.

      Delete
  7. I really enjoyed this post, especially the bit abou... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. " I need every reader I can get"
      I can always make an exception for myths, even angry myths.

      Q. If you're an angry myth, doesn't that make you MZZZZZZ AJ?

      Delete
  8. fortunately I have no clue how to check stats.......but good luck with that!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just click on the Dashboard at the very top of your own blog, and you should see a link to stats on the dashboard page.

      Delete
  9. Sometimes traffic from odd places like Turkey and Russia is driven by SEO marketers who are trying to get you to click on their links by hoping that you will look at analytic material and click on the incoming links.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a possibility, but I think, after some further ananysis, that they were all looking for that picture on That post.

      Delete
  10. Morning TSB. Be extra nice to your wife today - it's Mothers' Day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Morning Richard.
      Why?
      She's not my Mum, she's my wife.
      It's my son's job to do the spoiling.

      Delete
  11. You can also see the google search term people have entered. That too is very mind boggling!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I was hoping people wouldn't mention that. My most popular search term was panties

      Also mind boggling.

      Delete
  12. Yes, that can be weird.
    Some strange person or people have searched on
    'Hot Girl Snooke'r or 'Dawn Earl Lingerie Football' many times on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hot Girl Snooke'r"?
      Could you send me the link please?

      I've already got the other one.

      Delete
  13. What tags do you have on that post? Perhaps theyre looking up tags they like the sound of...like 'boobs' (Ive seen that post) Then again, who knows and why complain? Enjoy it, live long and prosper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The tags are Heisenberg, uncertainty, why. So there is nothing too salacious in them.. Maybe it's some sort of visual pun?

      But I agree, I'm not worried, I just enjoy the moment.

      Live long and Prosper, Death to the Klingons, and May the Force Be With You.

      Delete
  14. Less exotically, someone from Milton Keynes has been systematically working through every single page of my blog, for about two hours a night, over a period of about four days now. It's weirding me out, and I've gone and password protected some of it. Wish they'd just leave even a very brief "Hello, I am not a weirdo" comment--even though the sentence "I am not a weirdo" means "I am a really weird weirdo, weirder than a normal weirdo."

    I get lots of traffic from the salwaar kameezed and burkured areas of the Middle East, all landing with iffy search terms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Milton Keynes?
      That's bad. Any place that has concrete cows, and has more roundabouts than it has pubs, is not on my "want to see" list.

      Our blogs are out there for anyine to read, and It's actually quite nice when someone starts to systematically trawl through the posts, but I agree, they should leave the occasional comment.

      Sometimes I think that these burkured areas are so filled with supressed sexuality that one day they'll explode in an Onanistic orgy.

      Delete
  15. Perhaps that image is the closest thing to porn that gets through the Great Turkish Firewall? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship_in_Turkey

    As a public service to the repressed population of Turkey, I think you should increase the number of "aesthetically pleasing" images per post. Y'know. To help spread freedom and liberty. Honest. Not just for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great idea. I'll ry and increase the number of educational images.

      Delete
  16. I sympathise. For some reason, over half of all my traffic comes from USA to this post: http://shacklemore.blogspot.co.nz/2011/07/uncanny-valley.html
    And then they leave without reading any more. I don't blame them.

    ReplyDelete

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