Actually, what we're saying is What The F*ck Happened.
Go and sit in a quiet place.
No music, no TV, no voices, not even the sound of birds singing.
Sit upright, straight back, head balanced perfectly on the supporting vertebrae.
Shut your eyes.
Now turn your head slowly to the left, then slowly to the right.
Turn your head
If you listen carefully while you do this, you'll be able to hear the very slight grating noise produced by the degenerating load-bearing surfaces of your ageing vertebrae and supposedly lubricating cartilage.
That grating noise is the sound of old age
Sometimes life's a real pisser.
I read this to my beloved and she proudly said "yes, I can hear it". But I can't. At least not from here!
ReplyDeleteSecond: Hold your breath for about 10 minutes. You'll hear it then.
ReplyDeleteTwistedScottishBastard come back to my flock.
ReplyDeleteIt is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a IT teacher to get into Heaven. Yeah, well people have often misquoted me on that 'eye of a needle' thing. I was actually intending it to be about IT teachers but, back then when I said it, no one knew what IT teachers were; so the picked up on the rich man thing. I never actually said 'rich man'. They just weren't listening. Anyway, I'd like you back in the flock.
AJ: No. Please try and get it through your thick head that I never will "return" to your "flock" (you into sheep or something?) unless you or anyone can offer substaniated proof of the existence of any sort of Deity (Your Dad in your delusional paradigm)
ReplyDelete" substaniated proof"
ReplyDeleteIs that like proof that has been proven. But if it's proven why do I need more proof... ok I know, I'm holding my breath.
I thought that we had kicked this religious mumbo-jumbo to touch?
ReplyDeleteI stumbled into this blog through your comment at Tired Dad, and enjoyed the whole IT expat in NZ thing. I'm definitely not a CIA agent monitoring you as one of the suspicious persons on our list.
ReplyDeleteShackleford Hurtmore: welcome to our little but weird world. CIA doesn't worry us. FBI does, see here .
ReplyDeletewe're not suspicious, just criminally challenged.