The Strange Scotsman (Part the Second)

He wasn't quite as strange as this, but close.

The Strange Scotsman

Nope.
Before anyone thinks this refers to me, they're wrong.
I admit I'm sometimes thought a little eccentric, in a loveable yet lightly scary manner, but strange?
I don't think so.

NoTime

Our senior kids have headed off to 2 weeks of exams and about 2½ months of holidays in the lovely New Zealand summer.

Numbers

Some numbers have significance.

Some numbers have more significance than others.

The List

I'm the poor sod who organises relievers for our school, Nuova Lazio High School, in New Zealand.
I don't mean I arrange who pees where, I mean I attempt to co-ordinate demand for a person to cover a class where a teacher is absent with the personnel available.

Last year I focused purely on the people aspect and ignored the financial side, but seeing as we blew out our budget to the tune of $100,000 (we had $35,000 originally budgeted) I have to be more careful this year.

Most staff don't take days off without a very good reason, but some have a tendency to use any excuse to get out of teaching for a day. We're beginning to tighten up on people, and are now expecting to see doctor's certificates after 3 days off sick.

As I've mentioned before, in Scotland, where I trained and taught for 5 years, it was expected that ALL personal appointments, for whatever reason, would be outside normal teaching hours. Time-off was simply not granted.  All courses were also arranged to fall in the holidays, weekends and teacher-only days.

I have to go for a blood test next week, as part of my annual checkup, but I'll make sure that the appointment time does not interfere with my teaching duties.

I have a list of possible relievers I can use, some I have recruited, some I've inherited, and I try to match up their personalities and skills to the requirements of the classes needing cover.  Here is a list of many of our relieving teachers.  Names have been changed to protect identities.

Bead Man:  An ex-man of religion, knows exactly how he wants the pupils (and teachers) to behave.  He has a great attitude, and a lot of heart, but sometimes prefers to sit at his desk writing screeds of notes about the pupil's behaviour rather than actually teaching the set lesson.

Doctor Death:  Lives near me and has a PhD, demands to be referred to as Doctor ******* by pupils and staff.  Doesn't like our kids, refers to them (often to their faces) as scum, does not have good interpersonal skills. Always wears her sparkling white lab coat.  I only contact her as an absolute last resort.

Bouncy Aussie:  Just taken a year off to have another baby, coming back onto the active list next month.  She's not highly qualified, but actually attempts to teach the lessons given to her, and keeps the kids under good control. She knows most of them and their families, and she gets a lot of respect form the pupils, which helps a lot.

Scottish Auntie:  Been a reliever since the European landings.  Knows about 80% of the kids and their mums and dads and grannies and aunts and uncles and has taught most of them.  Little problems with the kids, sometimes veers away from the given lesson.  Health not so great at the moment, retirement appearing on the horizon.

Jolly Dancer: Only recently qualified, but my only question is why nobody has given her a permanent job. She's efficient, focused, polite to all, and has a great control over the kids, who respect her.  She carefully teaches what is given to her, and sometimes adds suitable extension work herself.  She lives a bit far away, and because of her skills she is much in demand by other local schools.  I use her every chance I get.

English Refugee:  Great qualifications, he can teach PE, Science, Maths and History, which makes him great for relieving.  He lives only 10 minutes from school, so he's a good choice for a last minute requirement.  Gets on well with kids and staff, does not put up with any sort of shit form the kids, who seem warily respectful.  Teaches most of the material given.

Young Beardie:  Newly qualified, has been on semi-continuous relief for the last 3 weeks.  He's getting better, and has developed good relationships with the kids.  He's also on the short list for a permanent job, being decided next week.  He takes some classes which are a bit challenging, and if he can cope with them, he wont have any problems in the future.

Beginning Teacher Armour.  Normal wear in Nuova Lazio High

There are more, but enough for now.

Just as an aside to all people connected to Nuova Lazio High.

We finished the proof reading of the reports last night.  Everyone was told to print out their report comments for our perusal, and all did.

Except:

1 PE Teacher:  Understandable; a close family member is really unwell, and she has a lot on her mind.

1 Maths teacher: Understandable; he's been off sick for two weeks, and his wife is also unwell.

Head of Art::  Two for one here.  Not only didn't print out the comments, did the Form Teacher comments in the wrong place.  Semi-Understandable; All Art teachers are a bit weird.  As are Drama and Music teachers.

Ringo:  Unacceptable.  No comments printed out.  Great impression for the staff from one of our leaders.

Says it all really.

Finished

We survived, but it was a damn close-run thing.
For some reason known only to our Senior Leadership Team and the MOE (The Ministry, not the due to depart soon Man) there was a Provisionally Registered Teacher Training day yesterday.  This is where our newly qualified teachers, fresh out of teaching college, get some extra Professional Development, hopefully making them more effective practitioners of the pedagogical arts (it also decreases the chances of them running away screaming to somewhere quieter and safer, like Japan)

BUT

We have 6 newly qualified staff.
Plus we have 1 Deputy Principal recovering from surgery
1 vacancy in our permanent staff
2 off on dependency leave (close family very ill)
2 off with 'flu

This meant that I had to find enough relieving teachers to cover about 45 lessons in 1 day.

Tricky

Thank goodness some of our permanent staff volunteered to do extra hours to cover some of the lessons, otherwise it would have meant chaos.  I even had to take ½ of a class myself (Thanks Nick, for helping)


Some of our kids think they are Hard.
Ha!
 Most of them wouldn't last 5 minutes in Sauchihall Street on a Saturday Night


Even with over 12 years of teaching experience, I really struggled with the class I was taking.  There were 5 or 6 nice girls trying desperately to do some work at the back.  2 girls who wanted to do nothing but chat up some boys, 3 or 4 boys who are basically good, but who drift with the rest.  4 or 5 boys who need very tight control, and another group of 4-6 who just need some basic guidelines and restrictions.
There was no way I could rectify 5 weeks of neglect in ½ hour, but I did my best.  I even think I got about 5 minutes of work from some of them.
It's not really their teacher's fault.  He tries very hard, but he is not yet experienced enough to deal with all these difficult kids.

Any non-teachers reading this please note. 

IT ISN'T THE SAME AS WHEN YOU WERE AT SCHOOL.

Modern school children do not automatically respect their teachers, or their parents or their elders or anyone really.  If you doubt the skills needed to maintain interest, keep control, enthuse and capture the pupils' imagination in a modern school, then look at Dr. David Starkey's first class in Jamie Oliver's Dream School on UK Channel 4 or Youtube.
Here we have one of the world's leading historians trying to teach a smallish class.  He wasn't prepared, he talked down to the kids, and treated them with some contempt.  The kids reciprocated.  Chaos.
To be fair, he quickly realised his mistakes, took some expert advice of teacher educators, and greatly improved his teaching and control techniques.

I believe in sharing the pain

But, we should never have had so many staff off at once.  Everyone gets unsettled when we have a lot of relievers in school.  The kids suffer, and we suffer, and what's worse; I suffer.  It's got to stop.

Oh, while I remember, the next bloody so-called professional teacher who leaves me a lesson plan written on the back of an envelope and no bloody pupil roles or photos will discover that apart from finding and co-ordinating relief teachers I also put in the reasons for absence into our computerised pay system.  Ever heard of that delightful phrase "LEAVE WITHOUT PAY?" 
You have been warned.

Free at Last

Well not quite free, and not quite yet.

One more day.

I stayed in Nuova Lazio High until after 6 last night, checking the relief, but mostly correcting and reprinting the senior reports.
The two FuhrerMadchen finished all theirs yesterday, but the Emperor and Ringo are still completing theirs.
Every time they pick up an error, they pass it to me, I go into the computer system, make the changes and reprint.  It takes time, and today is the last chance.  We are supposed to post them out at 3:00 today, and as I'm teaching for 3 spells today, that doesn't allow for much time to fix the damned things.

Pissed of Pandas

Ringo really pissed me off yesterday.  I think he knows I don't especially like him, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is reciprocated.  But it's not personal.  I don't dislike him because he's English, or because he talks in a nasal mancunian accent, or because he looks down his nose at all and sundry, or because he walks into classrooms without acknowledging the resident teacher, or because he interrupts conversations and meetings without an apology.
No, I don't dislike him because of all of those.
I dislike him because he doesn't do what he's supposed to do.

In previous years he mucked up the timetable.  Repeatedly.
When he was in charge of relief, there were cock-ups all over the place, and some staff felt picked on.

Yesterday, this paragon of efficiency, a supposed example to us all went to a meeting outside school.

Nothing wrong with that, except he hadn't told me he was going.
I didn't have a relief teacher organised to cover his classes.
The first thing I knew about it was when a text message came through about 8:50, asking me to go into his room and collect some work for his pupils, and to print out the class lists and photos and to pick up some sheets from the library for his pupils to work on.

We have a simple system in Nuova Lazio.
If a teacher knows he/she is going to be away the next day, they print out a class role and a lesson plan for the relieving teacher, and give it to me in advance, telling me the day(s) they need of and the reason..
I arrange a relief teacher to come in and cover the class.
If someone is suddenly off sick or otherwise indisposed (like MaonofErrors.  Some people will do anything to get a few days off work) I print out the roles and try and find some work for their classes.

Ringo ignored all the rules, and dumped it onto me at the very last minute.

I don't know whether it's simple incompetence or just an indication for the contempt he feels towards everyone else.

ONE MORE DAY.

Grumpy Old Bugger

Not to be confused with GrumpyOldManReturns (The Curmudgeon)
As I've mentioned before, I'm responsible for arranging relief teachers to come in and take classes when any of our regular teachers is off-sick, or on a course, or just had enough.
I'm a methodical and systematic person.. Before I go home at night, I make sure that I've arranged everything I can.  All the planned absences have been covered, timetables and relief lessons all prepared.

In the morning when I get in, I check the phone for messages, check the email for messages from the newly sick, and I carry my cell phone, to receive urgent updates from staff stricken with unexpected illness.

Yesterday the normal routine was observed, and I did my usual bit at the morning brief explaining any special requirements (like asking a poor, tired, overworked teacher to do an extra period because i couldn't get a reliever)
Just as we finished, before we had to go and get into our class rooms, one of our younger lady teachers (S) came up and told me that she had just received a text message from C (our Head Art teacher)saying that she would not be into work today because of some family emergency.

The young lady (S) telling me this began to look apprehensive, then actually a bit scared.  I asked a few questions, nodded and went off to check C's timetable and to see what I could do to arrange cover for her first class which started in 5 or 6 minutes.  As I turned away to go to my office, I heard S give a sigh then go and sit down with some of her friends.

It was then that I realised that I had been using my "Teachers Scary Face" on the poor girl.  This is the expression I and many of my older colleagues use on kids who are stepping out of line.  It's not an expression of anger, it is devoid of emotion except for the eyes which narrow slightly, and attempt to drill through the recipients brain.  Properly used, it can be quite scary, and I had been using it on that poor young lady teacher who was just passing on a message.

As soon as I had arranged the emergency cover, I went back and found S, and apologised fully.

The Apology

But I now wonder if I have been doing this with others.  Have I turned into a Grumpy Old Bugger (GOB) without realising it?  Are other colleagues wary of talking to me in case they get the "Scary Face"?
I'll be more careful in the future, and try to be more approachable.  I don't mind being seen as "That Grumpy Old Bald Scottish Git" by the kids, but not by my friends and colleagues.
Maybe being a teacher just automatically turns you into a GOB? 
Maybe it's just life in general that turns you into a GOB?

Grumpy?  Me?

Maybe I've always been a GOB?

Ah Well, back to work.  I've just read that J-P (ManOfErrors) is a Dad again.  Welcome Rosamund, to a world full of lovely gentle guys like your Dad, and GOBs like me.


By The Way, while doing some research into grumpiness and the associated apologies, I came across this. 

TFIF

End of exams, end of trying to fit everyone into a suitable slot for exam cover or class cover.
Start of sickie month.  We've now got 11 teachers off today, some on courses, some ill, and it's going to get worse.

I was in school until 6:00 last night, trying to cajole some more relievers to come in today, but eventually I had to contact the agency (sounds a bit CIA) to get two for us.
Must be a strange life being a full time relieving teacher, waiting for a phone call each morning, going to different schools every day or week.  School children are really bad with many relievers.  They don't know them, and they have not built up any sort of relationship.  I don't think I'd like that type of job, but some teachers do it for years.  One of those coming in today is a young Canadian, in NZ on a working student visa, and he's going to be teaching a photographic class.  I can understand that, working your way around the world, making enough money relief teaching to keep you solvent and save enough to move onto the next country. (Relievers get $250 per day).

Richard (of RBB) and I know of a teacher here in Upper Hutt, who occasionally works at Nuova Lazio, and who has been doing relieving for many years.  She often complains that we don't use her enough.  Now that I'm temporarily in charge of this relieving business, I've got a list of all the relievers we use, with contact details and comments beside each name.  Beside hers is the comment, O.M.D.B.
See if you can guess.
A prize to the first correct answer.

Mondays are sometimes good

We have a two week time table in Nuovo Lazlo High.
This is good and this is bad.
It's good because you tend to have days when you get "good"classes
It's bad, because you tend to get clumping of the "bad" classes.

Today was good
Two classes only, both seniors, both nice (in the main) kids
Minus the time helping other staff fixing/setting up reports.
minus the time writing comments for the reports due by the end of the week.
(NOTO BUENO rich, 4 days left! HAHAHAHAHA)

minus the time setting work for two separate classes on relief
minus the time writing KAMAR comments on some naughty kids
minus time at an Inquiry Group
I think it's permanently minus time.
Perhasps that's why it feels that my pay is going negative as well.
Everything is negative except my exceptionally positive attitude to life and kids, and my increaing waistline.
(I blame English contamination of my Whisky)