Holidays

Being a teacher, I get plenty of holidays.

TSB Bombs (Part the 2nd)

I left the last post just as the school secretary approached at a great rate of knots, telling me that the Police wanted a word.

Absolute Power

Corrupts.

Great days ahead in Nuova Lazio High School.

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Third)

I was sitting quietly in my office (not my little office, but my big office.  I keep the little office under my control just in case I f*ckup magnificently and get demoted.  Again.)

The Strange Scotsman (Part the Second)

He wasn't quite as strange as this, but close.

Being a Professional

Some of us, including me,  at Nuova Lazio High School got an email from our Deputy Principal (DP).

Ringo Rattles Off

On Wednesday mornings, between the far-too-early times of 08:15 and 09:25, we, the Saintéd staff of Nuova Lazio High School (NLHS) are treated to a pedagogically uplifting presentation/diatribe/lecture/interactive bloody session, or what other type of communication is deemed suitable for our edification.

Advertising

Strange how adverts have changed over the years.

I somehow cannot see this being used today

There was a time, many years ago when I worked *shamefaced shuffle* in sales and marketing.

Sometimes it's almost worthwhile

I'm a teacher.

I Predict Disaster

Next week is our Camp Week.

Flaming Education

Fire and Education were in the news twice yesterday.

Being; Becoming; A Grumpy Old bastard (1)

For some unknown, but probably pathological reason, quite a few of the commentators on these hallowed pages consider that I'm a grumpy bastard.

They may have a point.

Be Careful. Be Afraid.

Image from tahra.deviantart.com

We have to do some research as a part of our Professional Learning, and during my fumbling searches of the lesser known and exceedingly dry academic web sites I came across this.

Teacher only Day

It was Teacher Only Day on Monday.
I was partialy delighted, as I normally have a full teaching load on that day, so I could relax, sort of, and just concentrate on doing some preparation for next years curriculum.

But, for non-teachers, I wonder if you really know what goes on....

The delights of an afternoon nap.

One of the many benefits of getting older is the ability to drop of to sleep during the day.  These little "Power Naps" revitalise the mind for the inevitable encounter with PC bullshit, AND as an (almost) senior citizen, it's recognised that it is a part of your normal ancient and decrepit life. 

No Kids Today

It's Teacher Only Day at Nuova Lazio High.  It seems strange to be at a school without the sounds (shouts, screams, curses, singing, blows of meaty fists against concussed skulls) of our little kiddie-winks enjoying themselves (except the poor little sods who are on the receiving end of said meaty fists)

Culture Day

The Culture Kings (I kid you not, I just did a search for "culture" and up they popped.

Today in Nuova Lazio High is culture day.

No, we're not going to spend the whole day making Yoghurt or Cheese, we're going to spend the whole valuable day investigating the various cultures which make up the society we live in, here in Nuova Lazio. The idea (I think, I've been focussing so much on the Timetable that I haven’t really been paying much attention to what else is going on) is to have 8 areas, each representing a cultural aspect that the kids can investigate through practical tasks and conceptual investigation.

The cultures will be :

• Maori
• Pasifika
• England
• Japan
• Dutch
• Fijian
• Malay
• Kiwiana

Oh such a merry time will be had by one and all, and I hope you spot the missing cultural areas like:

• Gangs
• Scottish
• Irish
• Welsh
• Australian
• Drugs
• Hoons

This is the sort of thing that as a kid at my school, I would have thrown a sickie rather than be exposed to all this. I wanted to be taught and learn the important stuff. You know; things like reading and writing. There's not going to be much teaching and learning going on for our pupils over the next week, and if there's any parents of our kids reading this, do your kid a favour, break his/her leg so they can have a week at home in bed. They'll thank you for it later. Buy them a good book, and tell them you'll break the other leg if it isn't finished be the end of the week.

Break a leg

Motivation is so important in education.

Speed Reading contest at Nuova Lazio Mall

Deadlines

Teachers work to a series of deadlines.
Every day we have to plan, resource, present and assess in 3 to 5 one hour sessions, each with it's own deadline, the bell that announces the end of each session (or spells as we call them in Nuova Lazio High, as periods have been removed from the school vocabulary as being too demeaning to menstruating females)

We have just completed the Junior exams, which had to be organised with each teacher having a set time and place to go to for their turn at supervising an exam room.  The exam papers have to be marked by early next week, because another deadline, the report deadline is rapidly approaching. 

The report deadline is itself made up of a multitude of sub-deadlines for printing, proof-reading, re-printing, DP's comments and final printing and posting.

Unfortunately, a few of my colleagues couldn't recognise a deadline if it came up and bit them in the arse.  They're always late, or in the wrong place at the wrong time, or even unprepared for a lesson.  There's not many, but they make life difficult for the rest of us.  We all can make mistakes, but when you see the same mistake happening again and again action needs to be taken, except it doesn't.  They get away with it.  I would sack the buggers.  If they're still making the same mistakes after 7 bloody years, then it should be either dismissal or death.  Their choice.

Anyway, the Reports.  We spend days weeks or even in some cases, minutes in crafting these important statements on our students' performance over the last year.  Each sentence is carefully checked for grammar and syntax.  Each paragraph is lovingly moulded to be a glittering entity, striking in it's elegant simplicity, conciseness and lack of ambiguity.  The entire statement is checked and double checked for errors and compliance to the accepted style.  Our Deans, responsible for the pastoral care of our young, will add crisp, elegant comments on the little darlings' overall attitude and achievement.  Our Senior Management Leadership Team will then grace the bottom of each report with a short but pithy sentence, hand written in a cursive copperplate script.

None of this is required.  We can autiomatically generate the results of every assessment that the students have been given.  We can automatically generate their attendances, sickness and pastoral incidents.  We can even generate all of their sporting and extra-curricular activities and successes. We only need to add the following comments to complete the picture.

Academic	Behaviour	Attitude
Good	Good	Good
Average	Average	Average
Poor	Poor	Poor
Concern	Concern	Concern
Thick as Shit	Ape-like	Complete Dickhead

Seeing as many of us use the blesséd Copy and Paste, perhaps sometimes to excess, the simple comment table shown above is possibly just as accurate, and definitely more accessable by most of our parents and caregivers.

Anyway, I must get back to finishing off my reports, as I've got a bit behind because of my timetabling responsibilities.  I've got a deadline to meet.

The Best Things in Life are Free

No, I'm not talking about the song by Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross (not as good as the one sung in the musical film), I'm talking about real life.

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day.  Blue sky, fresh, refreshing breeze and white fluffy clouds.
Free.

My little dog came up and snuggled in beside me on the couch.  Uncritical adoration shining out of its little demented brown eyes.  (I say demented, because I farted just as it snuggled in, and it didn't seem to care)
Free.

My beloved gave me a peck on the cheek as I climbed out of bed to go to work.
Free.

We teachers here in NZ had another day of action, where we refused to teach our year 9s (11 year olds), and the Ministry can't/won't dock our pay.
Free.

Pest Free

Actually it meant that we had an abundance of Free periods all through our day, and the school was Free of the little pests. (Not all, but many)
Twice Free.

Eat more Lettuce

I decided yesterday that my gut had expanded enough to warrant some action.  So yesterday (and for at least the next 2 months) I was/will be Fat Free, Alcohol Free and Sugar Free.
Guilt Free.

Three of my year 10 girls decided to skip my class and have a wander around the school.
Sense Free.
I know the title of this little post is The Best Things in Life are Free , but as these girls cause more mayhem than the rest of the class put together, believe me it was for the Best.  My class was then Free of disruption and I was Free to actually get some real teaching, learning and, Praise Be to the Everlasting Deity of Education (Not Anne Tolley), some assessment done.

I really hope this isn't the God of Education

So as I lay my (not so weary) head down on the pillow last night, I was Free from Care.

Until this morning, when I have to start worrying about timetabling, exam arranging, room allocation, new course implementation, report writing, report generation and as always, relief supervision.

Decision Made

I put in my application for the DPs job yesterday.  It was a difficult one to make, as if I get it, my teaching load drops to about a class a day.  I became a teacher because I really love to teach.  Even after 13 years in a classroom I still enjoy almost every day (there's always exceptions.)  Since I took on the extra relief stuff, I've found that I'm not as focused on the teaching and learning as I used to be, so maybe it's a good idea for DPs to only teach 1 class per day.

Richard [of RBB] seemed a bit preoccupied yesterday, maybe another couple of Ukuleles have gone walkies?

Only another 7 teaching days (minus any strike days) to go before the senior prize giving.  For some reason our little school in Nuova Lazio, where many of the inhabitants work very hard just to keep their familes just above the poverty line, has a tradition of the teachers wearing their Academic gowns at prize giving.  I'm still not sure if it's a good or a bad idea, but I always feel like an idiot, dressed up like a semi-defrocked bishop attending a black mass.
It's good we can celebrate our student's success, and we have a lot of really nice, hardworking kids in our school.  I wish them the very best.  I just wish they'd take some of our loony year 9s and 10s when they go.

Just to finish on a positive note (for once) while I was browsing through the web for some images, I can across this Stone Bowl.  Absolutely stunning.  It comes from the Harris Museum in London (never heard of it before)

Enjoy the bowl.