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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Report Tuesday

This recording was discovered in the remains of the hall after the police had cleared the riot. It appears to have used a voice-activated microphone, but only one side of the conversation was actually recorded.

"Well hello."
"Sit down, sit down."
"So you're Report Evening's Dad?"
"Oh, sorry, Report Evening's Uncle then, how do you do Mr. Evening?"
"Oh, you prefer to be called Drunk and Disorderly?"
"No worries, let's get started Drunk."
"I take it you've seen Reppy's Report Card?"
"Let me check the address we've got on file"
"Hmmm, a bit different from what we've got."
"So you don't live in KeriKeri then?"
"That's OK, I'll get it updated."
"Now then about Reppy."
"She means well, and is normally good natured, but she talks far to much, and often doesn't pay attention"
"She hasn't achieved any of her major milestones this Term, and her attendance is way down, less than 25%."
"She really doesn't know what she's supposed to be doing."
"No." "I agree." "It's not good enough, and we're going to have to make some changes."
"First we need to see her attendance go way up."
"She often seems hungry and thisty, so perhaps you can ensure that she has access to snacks and tea/coffee/juice."
"Some people work better with some light background music, so perhaps we can try that."
"Oh." "I agree." "No Double Bass music, it's far to moody and depressing for Reppy."
"One area I'm worried about is the quality of work taking place."
"It's no good just covering things she already knows, we'll have to go into new areas, see things she doesn't know about, discuss things outside of her comfort zone."
"I'm glad you agree."
"Sorry, what was that again?."
"Do I know Reppy's cousin, Learning Conferences?"
"Yes I know LC, sometimes I think she's more trouble than she's worth, but we get good results, so I can't complain."
"I see."
"You prefer LC to Reppy?"
"Well we'll see what we can do, but I can make no promises."
"What do you mean typical teacher, never listens?"
"I'll have you know I'm the best teacher here, and I know considerably more about Education than you do."
"Don't call me an opinionated Irish bastard, you colonial oik, I'm Scottish"


  1. "Oh." "I agree." "No Double Bass music, it's far to moody and depressing for Reppy."
    On a gig everyone talks through my bass solos, so probably good advice.

  2. What good is melody, what good is music
    If it ain't possessin' something sweet
    It ain't the melody, it ain't the music
    There's something else that makes the tune complete
    It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that swing

  3. I think The Wine Guy might be drunk.

  4. I think he is quoting from a jazz song.
    Aurel Mueller

  5. I think you're correct Aurel, but I think what Richard (of RBB) means is that why would he make that quote on a blog about a report evening?
    I agree with Richard (of RBB), he's pissed.


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