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Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Surveys and Zombies

As mentioned by Richard (of RBB) we had a survey after school yesterday.  We were instructed by Ringo to make our way to a designated computer lab. and to complete a survey on the attitudes and methodologies prevalent in our school, with particular emphasis on bullying and victimisation.

(Click on the image above to make it readable)

We were told that completing the survey at the same time would reduce any environmental influences on the final statistics.  What a load of tosh.
I think we were all told to do it NOW to try and ensure a reasonable number of completed answers, because we soon discovered that:

a) It was a long survey, and took about ½ hour to complete
b) Many of the questions were very similar, if not identical.
c) The questions asked for our opinions on whole school behaviours and attitudes, and there was not a "Don't know" or "Uncertain" or "I really don't give a fuck" option.

And if we were asked to do it in our own time, many of us probably wouldn't have bothered completing it.  I was a little miffed on being herded like an unruly group of Year 9s to do as we were told, but maybe that's because I'm (like a lot of Scots) a bolshie bastard (as well as a Twisted one)

The Return to the Zombies.

After I got home last night it was like one of those "Night of the Living Dead" movies.  My beloved and my son had not recovered from the vomiting, and were still making rushed trips to the bathrooms.  When they weren't rushing about, they lay like corpses sprawled on the couches.  I kept imagining the buzz of flies, but no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see any maggots moving over their waxy skin.

I hope they'll be OK by tomorrow, the silence was quite depressing.  Especially as I could clearly hear the rumbles and gurgles emanating from their abdomens.


  1. Nobody's commenting on this; perhaps I should.

    I found the link in my email on Saturday afternoon. Apparently our Beloved Leader was going to explain it in Saturday morning's Staff Meeting. So I hastily sent in an apology for being late again to Staff Meeting (actually I missed the entire meeting - it was already afternoon), then filled in the survey. I was on the third glass (or was it the third bottle?) so it was pretty easy.

    Imagine my surprise when, arriving late (again) to Monday afternoon Staff Meeting, I realised our Not-Beloved-Leader was talking about the Survey, and we were then sent off to do it.

    Have I experienced an example of "Groundhog Day"? Have I already posted this? Suddenly I'm really worried about The Impending Rapture.


  2. Don't worry about the Rapture Clive, teachers are automatically exempt. We constantly live in purgatory.
    As for the survey?
    Quite honestly I don't give a flying f*ck.


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