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Thursday, 29 September 2011

Spring is here

Luckily my Beloved didn't spot my previous blog on her addiction (almost female universal) to shoes of many colours, so I can enjoy the beautiful New Zealand Spring.

The teachers are almost frisky, going to their assigned classes with hardly a grimace of pain or horror.

The pupils are enjoying the full flower of springtime hormonal excess, with cuddling couples and coupling crowds everywhere.

It really puts me off my Horlicks and Digestives,

We have only 7 more days to go before the release of the Spring break, and I for one am really looking forward to days of completely bugger all.

  • No lessons.
  • No students.
  • No Ringo

It's not that I object to my poorly remunerated task, or not-so-sick colleagues putting on I'm really sick voices (quite a laugh really. I wonder if they know I record each and every one.  My compilation audio blog at the year end should be an absolute cracker.) it's just that I'm getting tired of:
  • Being awoken at 4:30am by a text message detailing symptoms and a provisional diagnosis.
  • Getting the late call at 8:55 saying they've suddenly developed dysentery and probably The Black Death in the last 10  minutes.
  • Not getting any bloody call at all, but them not turning up.
  • Getting the message that they're sick, arranging a relief teacher and then they actually turn up for work
  • All of the above, but NOT sending in anything for their classes to do. (Quite honestly, a lesson plan of "SIT AND WATCH THE F*CKING VIDEO DVD OF SCHINDLERS BLOODY LIST " is not what I would call a lesson plan. Neither is "Here's 20 pages of word searches based on my subject", or even "Colour in the map of the world. When they've finished they can start on the book of individual countries"  Come on.
If you look like this, you can have ½ day off


I'm looking forward to the plaintive cry of the Tui, the sweet twitter of the Parakeets as they skitter down our gully, the demented groans of the English, Irish, Australian, South African and English teams as the Mighty All Blacks whip their collective backsides to quivering jelly.  (I know I mentioned the English twice.  I just want them to suffer.  Much)

Until then, I can sit quietly on our deck, sipping drinking gulping gargling a long, ice-cold Gin and Tonic with a splash of fresh lime juice from the fruit of our tree, and just look out at the Vale of Tranquility which is the Upper Hutt Valley.

Or my neighbour, who always give me a wave when I'm walking our little shit machine (The dog, not m'son)
Hello neighbour


  1. That neighbour {if she's waving at you at all, is probably just feeling a bit sorry for you.

    I love the idea of sitting back with a G+T of manly proportion laced with lime juice from MY OWN TREE! That make me fair jealous.......

    and I'm really not the jealous type.

    I hope you enjoy the holiday when it comes - and of course the humilation of the English - I said THE HUMILIATION OF THE ENGLISH deliberately twice too.


  2. The neighbour is more likely waving you away. Does she say "Shoo?"

  3. Enjoy your gloating in advance while you can. 48 hours' time and it might be a different story.

  4. Alistair: Of course the neighbour feels sorry for me. Everyone feels sorry for me. As soon as they hear I work at NLHS, I immediately get loads of sympathy. If you feel jealous because of the lemons and limes,several of our neighbours have grapefruit trees, which are absolutely delicious when eaten right off the tree. Thanks for your support vis a vie the ABs thrashing England. Unfortunately, there's a Scotland v England this weekend, and quite honestly, the way Scotland have been playing, they're going to get stuffed.

    TC: She actually doesn't say a word. I think she's either
    struck dumb by my own incandescent beauty
    involved in her own secret fantasies
    politely trying not to laugh at the sight of me walking the little white furry shit-machine (the dog not m'son)

    looby: 48 hours? You think Canada is going to beat the All Blacks? *chortles mightily with evil grin* At least we don't cheat.


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