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Thursday, 19 April 2012


I'm so glad you lost your job you really DUMB B*TCH
(Judith Collins, ex-Minister of Education in NZ)

We (My Beloved and I) had planned to go back to the UK in September this year (and I had also planned to buyanew f*ckingkeyboard, because this one iscompletelyF*cKED, especially the spacebar andtheshiftkey)

I had already booked the tickets through Expedia when we found out thatm'daughter was expecting and that everything had to be changed.

It was decided (my Beloved and m'daughter had a 4 hour session on Skype and everything was planned out but nobody told poor old Dad) that I wouldn't travel back to the land of Haggis, Forfar Bridies, Deep Fried Pizza, Irn Bru and Champit Tatties, but would stay in lovely sunny Godzone, and that my Beloved  would travel back in October and return in december (f*cking bloody aweful ShiFt key is sticking something f*cking well you woUld't belieVe)

After I had spent 12 hours celebrating my 3 month aloneness (with plenty of my Beloved's prepared food in the freezer) SHE decided that NOW was the time to change the booking s with expedia.

I phonedthem and started the process.

No problem (except the $300 cancellation feewithQUANTAS) for my flight, but as Iwas on the phone to Expedia's agent, and was on "hold" (Why TF do they playsuch really awful f*cking music on hold.   It drills throughthe mind like a laser on 50 GJoules) while they contemplatedthe requestedchange to my Beloved's change to her flights, my Beloved began to talk to me.

She said "Have you thought about completely cancelling the flight and changing to another airline?"
I said "I'm in the middle of making the changes now Dear, it's a bit (thought: "FUCKING", said "nothing") LATE. 

My Beloved left in the HUFF (I know she's telepathic) and muttered something along the lines of "ignorant bastard".  From such is married bliss made of.  Yeah right.

I'vestopped writing this and ordered anewf*ckingkeyboard from Ascent, because the bloody sticking spacebar isdriving me            nuts.

All flights changed   successfully.  Sanity maintained.

I'll miss seeing my daughter in the UK, but if everything goes well, she and the baby willcomeover in JanuarY.

Just had a thought.

I'll be completely on my own for THREE F*CKING MONTHS.

Yippee ki yay.

It's almost as good as h  avi  ng three months holiday in BOra borA.

Ahh, stuff thisuntil mykeyboard is fixed I"M Of the blogging business.

(OHStuffthisblooDyf*cking keyboARD)


  1. KeYboard prOB lens?/ i D oNT sEe AnytHiNg Wr ong!1
    Ah, you're kidding yourself mate, Youre going to miss her terribly..

  2. TEMpo; I kNOw, bUT w Hat can I DO. I"VE ordered a NEWcHerry KEYboard that should fix thisf*ckingGEniusthing.


  3. TC: WHy wouldigoblind/
    i don"t neednewglasses or contacts, and even a new keyboard wouldn'teffect mysight

  4. I think it's the impending hairyness of your right hand that the Curmudgeon's concerned about.

    I had to replace the keyboard on my computer a year or so ago when any word including the letter b would come out bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbuggered.

    They don't like red wine tipped over them, apparently. Fusspots. Enjoy your time alone!

  5. looby: myHands don"tgo hairy. THey just wanttosmash this f#$%@^^&ing keyboard. WHICh is developinga mindofit'sf*xcking own.

    THat's what ICan'tunderstand. I"ve never spilledanything onit. CheapTaiwaneseCRap. I"M Going for a CHerry thistime.

    Mind you, I"VE Found that a gentle applicationof cherrybrandy doeswonders for navelslurping.

  6. 3 months - I think that you really need to find some form of live in help to just get you through don't you? Oh I see that the lady I had thought of is already in the picture you just posted... ;-)

  7. furtheron; while imay occasionaly havea lovely young thing on my postsI"M not suicidal. IF myBELoved evensuspected the presence of such a youngthing CHEZTSB, I"D Betoast.

  8. That young lady in the photo has an impossible body

  9. nursemyra: Sorry, she's actually a real and un-photoshopped person called Francoise Boufhal, an English actress/presenter.

    see this youtube site here


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