Why Can't They Make Up Their (little) Minds

My Beloved planned to fly back to the UK in August and had graciously aquiesced to allow me to accompany her a wee bit later in September (our Spring Break Holiday), then we would fly back together.

She had originally wanted to go back in December (our Long Summer Holiday, 6 weeks) but I had screamed begged put my foot down, as I had absolutely no inclination to experience another Scottish winter. (See I miss NZ and other posts around this period.)

Never again

So we booked and paid for the flights.  Cost about $3000 each (economy, Qantas)

So all was set.

Ha.

We got the news in March that my lovely daughter was now expecting, and that changed things.

My Beloved went into hyper-broody mode. Knitting hats, socks, jumpers and woolys of all description, in preparation for the great day.

And she made plans.

Her plans had plans .

Her plans had plans which had plans, all based on a hidden agenda.

She wanted my lovely daughter to come to NZ to be with us.

So she decided that this was what would occur.

I wouldn't go to the UK, but she would go in October, and abandon me for 2 MONTHS, so she could look after our wee dear in Scotland, cook for her, make lots of little treats, and generally treat her as a princess.

My wee Princess

Then the money saved from my ticket would help pay for my lovely wee daughter and the lovely wee babe to fly out to NZ in February, where they could both be given the utmost in pampered care.  My lovely wee daughter's husband could, probably would, come out later.

All clear.

Good.

So last week I started the process of cancelling and changing the flights.

We were booked seperately because of the different times we originally wanted to fly out, so I cancelled my flight first.

No real problem, except for the cancellation cost of nearly $300.  *sob*

Then I changed her flight to the new dates.  I was on the phone to Expedia for almost 1½ hours trying to get the change through to comply with her wishes, but finally I succeeded at another cost of $60.  *small sob *

So all was set.

Ha.

Then my beloved came to me as I was relaxing with a rather large and restorative Whisky and said:

My Beloved (MB): "Dear?"  (Every bloke knows that tone of voice.  Wheedling and irritating)
Me: "Yes my Darling" (Nauseating I know, but needful)

MB: "Which airline am I booked on now?"
Me: "Qantas my Dear, same as before" (Which is why it was only a $60 change fee)

MB: "I don't like Qantas", "They're racist"
Me: "What?"

MB: "They're a bunch of rude racist Aussies, I don't want to fly with them"
Me: *stares goggle-eyed at my Beloved* "Eh?"

MB: "last time I flew on my own, they wouldn't serve me, and one of the Aussie b*tches shouted at me because I asked for some boiling water for the hot water bottle I was using on my back"
Me: "Are you sure my Dear?"

MB: %%#$%^^&**  %^&%$##&*&&   "&&&**%%$##"
Me: "Oh"

*long pause while I sip gulp the amber nectar*

Me: "Well, in that case, I'd better change it my Dear"
MB: "Yes please"  "NOW"

Me: "Yes my Darling"

After another 2 hours on the phone, I'd managed to change the flight to another carrier, Singapore Airlines, which are definitely NOT racist.

Cost; $300  for cancellation of the original changed Qantas booking, PLUS another $600 for the difference in fares. *Big sob*

Me: "All done Dear"
MB "You took your time, didn't you?"

*exceptionally long suffering look to the dog, which ignored me and continued gnawing my slipper*

Me "Yes Dear" (God, I'm really a wimp sometimes)

Never mind, all was now set.

Ha.

Next day.

MB: "Darling?" (OH DEAR GOD, WHAT NOW?)
Me: "Yes my Dear?"

MB: "I've been thinking" (OH SHIT...the end of the universe is fast approaching)
Me: *cautiously* "Yes Dear?"

MB: "If the new flights are so expensive, why don't you look at some other alternatives" (Unspoken; "Why didn't you do this before")
Me: *incrediously* "What?"

MB: *THE LOOK*
Me: "Yes Dear" (in a broken, plaintive, but curiously dignified voice)

After another 2 hours on the web, searching for ANYTHING that might fit.

Me: "I think there's two alternatives my Beloved"
MB: "Hmm?"

Me: "Either cancel the last-changed flight and rebook with Air New Zealand or?'
MB: "Or what?"

Me: "Or you could fly over there on your own little broomstick dear"
(I didn't actually say that, just thought it.  Lovingly)
Me : "Or cancel and rebook on Singapore Air ourselves" "It'll save about $400"

MB: "I think Air New Zealand then."
Me: "Yes my Dear, I'll get right on it"

1½ hours later.

Me: "Right Dear, I've cancelled the booked changed booked flight (another $300), and I'm just about to confirm the flight with Air New Zealand"
MB: "Hmm"

Me: "WHAT?"
MB: "I've been thinking" (Will there ever be an end to this f*cking nightmare?)

Me: ""WHAT?"
MB: "I think I should fly with their Premium Economy" "As it will only be me, it won't cost too much"

At this point I would like to state categorically that I really do love my Beloved.  But to quote a Yorkshireman I met in a pub, "they can make it awfully hard"

I should also like to point out that I have suggested many times that we fly Premium Economy or Business Class, but have been over-ruled on the reason of  "We can spend the money much more usefully later"

There's some rules for them, and then there's the rules for the rest of us.

1½ hours later.

Me: "I'm just finishing the booking dear, you happy with the Premium Economy Class?"
MB: "I've been thinking..."

I've still not booked the f*cking flight.

I still think she'd do better on her broomstick.