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Thursday, 5 April 2012

Last Day at the Chalkface

Thanks for the Holiday.  Where's my chocolate eggs?
Easter holidays start tomorrow.  About the only good thing that came out of christianity, apart from communion wine and Christmas.

It's been a funny term.  Seemed to fly past, but we're all exhausted.

On Wednesday, our "Professional Learning Morning" was an absolute f*cking farce.

WTF?
This is an hour we get every Wednesday to exchange ideas in teaching and be indoctrinated bullshitted lectured about new techniques and paradigms eminating from the glass castles of educational academe.
We often have the adult equivalent of "show-and-tell" where we get a (supposedly) quick presentation fo an intersting teaching method used by one of our colleagues.

Basket Maker in an earlier incarnation
This Wednesday it was the turn of Basket Maker.

He had us move into a circle, and then told us the rules.
We couldn't laugh
We couldn't hide or faces.
We had to maintain eye contact with him
If we did either, we were "OUT" and had to sit quietly with arms folded.

This farce went  on and f*cking on.

This idea was going to fry my f*cking mind
Some of us tried to escape the bullshit by quietly crossing our arms and making ourselves "OUT" but we were told that only the Basket maker could so designate us.

He tried funny voices, funny stories, funny walks and funny dances. I sat there with (so I was told later) a stony faced glower.  I had much better things to do; mark assessments, work out reliever details, preparation for my classes.

But I just had to sit there like a spare prick at a wedding.

At last it was over, and he tried to explain that the whole f*cking thing was an attempt to get the kids to understand that if someone couldn't laugh or smile, then something was seriously wrong with that person.

Don't see why.

I never f*cking smiled.
I never f*cking laughed.

Old Stone Face
My Hero and peer model
I just f*cking seethed.

Seeth
I could understand a demonstration of a particularly novel teaching technique, but quite honestly I saw this as just an attempt to become the centre of attention, with a fixed (and seething) audience.

He is an actor after all, so I don't really blame him.  They're all supposed to be self-centred narcissists.

NO SCHOOL TOMORROW.

So my beloved, in an attempt to keep me gainfully occupied, has arranged for me to attend her Mah Jong club (23 ladies of "a certain age".)

I can hardly wait.

24 comments:

  1. I have walked out of similar training sessions and when later questioned by my manager about why, I explained that I thought it was an initiative test to see who was smart enough to go and do something useful instead. He thought that was a reasonable excuse. He also used to tolerate me sleeping through boring presentations from our suppliers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shackleford Hurtmore: Excellent idea. But I don't think it would work here. The management get very suspicious if they think that we're actually showing some initiative.

    Richard [of RBB]: Are you sure you're not just commenting twice just to become the centre of attention? You're a musician after all, and thats very close to being a Thespian.

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  3. Austan: I can say no to Mah Jong all day, that doesn't bother me.

    It's saying no to my Beloved that's just a little difficult. Actually, difficult is a tad understated. Suicidaly stupid is closer to the mark. Never mind, as she'll be driving (to show off her little blue sports car)I can take refuge in several large(er) shots of the bless├ęd whisky before departing.

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  4. The Mah Jong club - oh good, another comedy driving episode coming up.

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  5. looby: I am shocked, shocked that you could possibly imply that my good lady wife's driving skills are not up to standard.

    If you're referring to that bunch of ladies of the actual club, then probably. But I'm not too sure I'll want to blog about it. One of them gave me an awfully evil look last time I saw them. She just might be in the blogging network, and I really don't want to experience a "Four Pure Shifted Pungs" in the arse.

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  6. TSB,
    Had a quick listen to your son's music and it sounded very interesting - will listen more later, but chardonnay time now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sometimes I miss NLHS. More often - especially after reading this post - I feel very lucky I no longer have to go through that sort of nonsense.

    Strangely, my quiz team colleagues last night didn't mention this latest idiocy. Perhaps they were still dazed, or slept through it, or wagged.

    But I met a person not unconnected with NLHS sport this afternoon, and the perpetrator was almost all he could talk about - not flatteringly.

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  8. He does sound more like a basket case than basket maker. Or maybe just a basket!

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  9. Richard[of RBB]: I thank you. I reckon anything's better with a Chardonnay...or a nice Claret.

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  10. ex Clive: Welcome back. We all thought you were away surveying the slopes of Mt. Ruapehu.
    We could have used your invaluable services in controlling the abomination which is the LIN classes this week, but I hopedyou enjoyed yourself. Seriously.
    I feel sorry for the perpetrator. He knows what he does. His self-centred aura protects him from criticism. I look forward to seeing you next term.

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  11. Alistair: He means well, and he doesn't really have a hidden agenda, apart from seemingly attracting every piece of legal skirt within pheromone distance. We don't know how he does it. Unless.
    Has anyone checked to see if he came back from filming the Hobbit with any sort of ring?

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  12. Laoch: Mah Jong; great fun, but NO DRINK.

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  13. I cannot look at someone without smiling, which makes me a Twisted Minnesota Bastard.

    It's required, I believe.

    Don't think I've ever seen Mah Jong being played...

    Pearl

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  14. Pearl: Welcome and thanks for leaving a comment. It's nice to welcome a Twisted Minnesota Bastard, but by the appearance of your selected identifying picture, you're a lady, and I could never bring myself to call any lady a Twisted Minnesota Bastard, never mind how convuluted their thoughts, morals or sense of humour. TMB however is OK.
    Normally, like you, I find it quite difficult to go through life without a (twisted) grin on my face, but sometimes my professional duties require it. A stone face can be quite useful in dealing with naughty kids.
    Mah Jong is like a card game of rummy, but played with plastic/ivory tiles about the size of dominos. The Chinese normally play it at blinding speed, but the European (and American) version is played a bit more sedately. It's the character-assassinating conversation which is going on at the same time which can be quite fascinating.

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  15. I've become quite good at the stony faced glower.. it works well for making it clear that everyone can f*** the Hell off! without having to actually say it..

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  16. Tempo: Welcome, wow, two new commentators in one day. I am greatly honoured. The glower is exceptionaly useful, and can be used on subordinates, peers and even (with care) supervisors.

    Let's face it. If you're standing at a bench holding 5 litres of Conc. H₂SO₄AND have a glower on, NOBODY wants to f*ck with you.
    ANd the beauty is that a facial expression is not actionable.
    Can you imagine the situation?
    Lawyer: "And why did you threaten to sack the Lab Tech?
    Boss: "He looked funny at me"
    Lawyer: "Please amplify"
    Boss: "I mean he had absolutely no expression on his face, but his eyes looked mean"
    Lawyer:"So you tried to sack a man for NOT looking angry?"
    The defence rests.

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  17. Happy Birthday to me. So pleased term is over. Worked all day yesterday. No breaks. Same classes as mufti day last week, including 3 x Yr 9's. But so much better behaved strangely, despite being last day of term. Got called into DP's office after school. I asked meekley "have I been a naughty girl Sir?". NO you have been so good this term VG we would like you to come back for 6 weeks of full time teaching next term to cover Ms X's classes. She needs some urgent major surgery. I did not know whether to laugh or cry but gratefully offerred my services. I drove home thinking WTF have I done. Welcome to the Nifty Fifities VG. You are not obsolete yet. I say to myself while comforting my soul in chocolate and bubbly on this incredible milestone in my life.
    Life is good. My babies are home for Easter and my hubby has just cooked up a storm in the kitchen for my birthday dinner. I am going to the Gold Coast in a few days for a break and I have a job to come home to to pay for my birthday holiday. Life is good ATM and I am truly blessed. Ginger cats and all. May you all have a great Easter and a great holiday for all you kiwi teachers out there. You deserve a lovely series of sleepins, general mooching and blobbing days and many chardonnays/ sav blancs/ single malts or whatever your poision is. In fact just stay in your PJs for two weeks and enjoy your freedom while it blissfully lasts.

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  18. Is Basket Maker a regular character on your blog? I don't think we've met before. The whole exercise does sound like an infuriating waste of time. We have to do "team building" where I work, but it usually involves a pot luck lunch and "guess whose baby picture this is" game.

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  19. oh that whole smile don't smile thing gave me brain ache...however basket making could be a handy skill come the revolution.......happy easter!!

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  20. VG: Congratulations, on both your Birthday and in getting such a big lump of relief work. Being a gentleman, I won't even inquire as to the number of years. *coughs discretely into hand*
    I'm glad life is being good to you.

    Patience_crabstick: Basket Maker used to have his own blog (called Basket Maker!), but for a variety of reasons, he stopped and deleted it. Pot luck lunch sounds much more fun than what we did. Mind you, it did give me an opportunity to work on my glower. I'm not too sure about the "guess the baby"contest. I suppose I've got an old black and white of Bella Lugosi that I could substitute.

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  21. YaH: It wasn't too bad, because I have this ability, natural to most blokes after 35 years of "happy" marriage, of "tuning out". I could sit there quite happily, with a ferocious grimace on my face, but pleasant dreams in my mind.
    Haggis. Steak n' chips, Ringo roasting over a Chestnut fire.

    Basket making is not a skill I have acquired, nor really wish to acquire. Come the revolution I suppose I'll get some of the peons to make my baskets.
    Happy Easter to you too. Mucho chocolate.

    ReplyDelete

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