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Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Synchronised Swimming

Ever since the Olympics introduced Synchronised Swimming as an event, I wondered what type of person would want to do it.  Apart from the idiots calling it a sport, it must be decidedly unpleasant to participate.
With your head under the water for a goodly portion of the performance, water up your nose and in your ears, trying to keep your breathing timed to your surfacing must be difficult.
But why?
Are you trying to go faster?
Are you trying to go deeper?
Are you trying to be more graceful?
You're just trying to be exactly the same as everyone else in your group.
What's the bloody point?
It must be the most boring and irrelevant "sporting" pursuit.

I met an ex-member of the NZ Synchronised Swimming team at the weekend.
She seemed almost normal.  No mad gleam in the eyes, no gills.  Quite ordinary really, though quite pretty.

When she told me of her participation, I felt quite proud of myself.
I didn't give a belly laugh of derision, nor did I snort in snide amusement. 
I just smiled, and said (lying) "How Fascinating".  I did say she was quite pretty, and like most men, I find it difficult to be rude or offensive to pretty girls.

She seemed keen to tell me more, but my beloved, who was sitting next to me gave me the subtle dig in the ribs I have come to love and expect. 
About two broken ribs worth of love I would judge.

I just sat quietly for the rest of the meal doing what every married (or partnered) man does in that situation  I fantasised about this pretty girl in a skin-tight swimsuit doing all sorts of synchronous activities.

Synchronised tea-making.
Synchronised vacuuming.
Synchronised dusting.
Synchronised car washing.

All in the gleaming skin-tight swimsuit.

My beloved had to give me another elbow in the ribs (Mach 2.5, I judged, grunting in pain) to remind me it was about time to leave.

I still think it's a bloody silly "sport" though.

Almost as silly as Solo Synchronised Swimming.  I mean to say, which fucking moron thought that one up.
Synchronised with what?
Move your left foot at the same time as your right foot. 10.0  10.0  10.0  10.0
My daughter could do that at age 3.
Solo Synchronised Swimming
(So difficult)


  1. Solo syncronised swimming?
    You've obviously got up early because this is still bugging you.
    Let it go, my friend. Try to think about something else, or you could waste your holidays on this.

  2. Solo syncronised swimming? Really? weird! I teach two girls who compete in syncro swimming and they are both very nice, normal people. I always congratulate them when they do well but always in the back of my head is a little voice saying "what a stupid sport"

  3. I'm in a syncronised swimming team. It really is good fun.

  4. Too funny saying you've come to know and love that familiar digging in the ribs. Hahaha.


    1. Even if the elbow in the ribs is semi-virtual, I still feel it.

      My Beloved can give me a dig in the ribs from the other side of the room.

      With just a glance.


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