After reading many of the comments left by the blogging community on my nephew’s blog, I came to realise that there are a lot of troubled souls, begging for some sort of help and solace, so I offered my services to young TSB (the Scotsman, not the arena)to publish a problem page.
The youngster looked shocked for a moment, and then he grinned and told me to go ahead, saying “I’m sure they will all support you Aunty, give it a go”. So here I am.
Pour out your troubles to me, and Aunty will help via the comments.
Dear Aunty
ReplyDeleteThere is a mean boy in the blogging community who picks on me. He is a large fellow (sort of looks like a bus station from certain angles) and says mean things about my posts. He also doesn't appreciate the minimalist approach to blogging and is intolerant of religious believers. I can safely tell you this because he is away for a few days. What can I do Aunty, what?
Dear Mr Curmudgeon,
ReplyDeleteYou poor soul. I really feel for you having to put up with such childish bullying. He (this nasty bus-station looking person) really has to learn to be more tolerant. I suspect that he wasn't breast fed as a baby, and consequently is always eager for some form of self-gratification.
I would suggest one of two things.
Either you completely crumble to his demands and write more in your blog, staying away from any mention of religion.
or
You stick a strong piece of steel up your spine and really tell him what is so upsetting you. I am sure that Mr Bus Station will listen to your complaints in a nice and accommodating way. Well he'd better, or I'll send my nephew to visit him with his trusty 7.62mm and blow the bastard's knees off.
Now does that make you feel better?
Aunty Twisted
Dear Aunty
ReplyDeleteThanks (I think). I certainly hope that alcohol is not imbibed when your family get together for a reunion.
"THE CURMUDGEON said...
ReplyDeleteDear Aunty
Thanks (I think). I certainly hope that alcohol is not imbibed when your family get together for a reunion."
Oh Ha ha ha, you silly boy, we're all Scots in out family. Do you think it would be possible for any type of family gathering without alcohol being involved?
Your a nice young man for saying so though, I think I'll ask the nephew to get after Mr. Bus Station forthwith.
Do you know if he's left or right handed? These small details can be so important during convalescence.
Dear Aunty,
ReplyDeleteIs the universe infinite?
When I die will I just go to oblivion or will there be a loving God waiting for me?
Is wwi better than xbox 360?
Who puts all those pictures on the web when I type "pic" at the end of my search?
Why do those little fly's keep landing in my beer?
Could those little fly's lay eggs inside me?
"Could those little fly's lay eggs inside me?"
ReplyDeleteToo late Second. They probably already have violated you.
Might I just remind you of Mark 7:14-16 where he says "There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him..."
So you might be OK. Just believe.
Dear Second Fiddle,
ReplyDelete"Is the universe infinite?
Probably, but it's so big the difference between infinite and so bloody big it makes your mind boggle is negligible.
"When I die will I just go to oblivion or will there be a loving God waiting for me?"
Don't know, but don't think so. If you die, come back and tell us. Oh, there's a surprise, no one has yet.
"Is wwi better than xbox 360"
Nope. A high spec PC is better than both.
"Who puts all those pictures on the web when I type "pic" at the end of my search?"
Everyone. Especially those who are catering towards naughty pictures, you dirty boy.
"Why do those little fly's keep landing in my beer?" You drink beer? You degenerate. The flies are fruit flies which actually eat the live yeasts in real beer. Change to pasteurised beer, or lemonade, or whisky. As soon as one of those bloody flies lands on a glass of whisky it's f'n toast.
"Could those little fly's lay eggs inside me? "
Not normally, but as you sound a bit of a wimp, it's possible.
Harden up, eat more meat, drink more beer/whisky, then the flies will die as soon as they land. I also recommend DDT deodorant. Works for me.
Thanks. I didn't know that!
ReplyDeleteThough I still think any modern games machine is superior to a PC.