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Thursday, 21 October 2010


Fear not gentle readers, I shall return to the engrossing and exciting series of Activities for Nuova Lazio High end-of-term tomorrow, for today I would like to expound on Envy.

I didn't think that I was an envious person. 
I would see a gleaming i-phone someone had bought, and I would think, "That's nice"
I would pass a lovely house in a lovely beach side situation, and I would think, "That's nice"
I would pass a gorgeous, voluptuous wife on the the arm of her husband, and I would think, "They're nice"

But never a feeling of envy.

Until yesterday.

We have a nice young Canadian teacher doing a lot of relief teaching for us.  He has a good range of skills, including PE and Technology, and he's really good with the kids, they like him, and he doesn't put up with any mucking-about.
I was having a chat with him in the staffroom, discussing the joys of Aoteroa.  He's been tramping all over the North Island, and he was telling me that during the relief lay-off period, which starts in November, when there would be very few teaching hours available, he had obtained a temporary position with DOC.  He was going to get paid to go tramping all over the Mainland, starting with Queen Charlotte.  I think he said he was going to be maintaining tracks and tramping huts.  This sounded nice, but I was not envious.
He also mentioned that he wouldn't be available for teaching the last week in October.
I enquired why.
He said he had another temporary job for about 10 days.
Now being a relieving teacher is not the best job in the world, but it's reasonably well paid, with most relievers getting about $200 - $250 a day, and I wondered (out loud) what job would be better paid for our young teacher/tourist.  "Oh no", he said, "it's not better paid, I just really want to do it"
Then he told me.

He has landed a job every guy in the country would desperately and deeply desire.

No, it's not being the sunblock applicator for Angelina Jolie
No, it's not being the hit man going after Hone Harawera
No, it's not being the head taster at Speights or Mission Bay

He was going to be employed for 10 days in Wellington Harbour.

Setting up the complete firework display for November 5th on a barge just off-shore.

He would be stacking rockets and mortars and giant roman candles and Catherine wheels and huge bangers and whizz-bangs of every description.
He would also be there when they set the bugger off.  He would be igniting a lot of the stuff.  He would be responsible for a huge mass of bangs and flashes for almost 40 minutes of mayhem.

I was envious.  It hit me out of blue.  I really wanted to do that.  I wanted to make huge bangs and flashes that were frightening but harmless.  Well almost harmless, as I believe that a few pyrotechnic engineers are killed every year, but it's not designed to hurt people, just to thrill.

I was very envious.

Ah well, back to the grind of the chalkface.


  1. It must be a guy thing, cause I don't get it. I like to watch them but I would get bored putting it all together - In fact I would prefer to be the sunscreen applier for Angelina Jolie

  2. What about being the guy making fireworks with Angelina Jolie (after having been tasting Mission Estate Jewelstone Chardonnay).

  3. "In fact I would prefer to be the sunscreen applier for Angelina Jolie."
    Fflur, do you remember what happened to the (not so) good people of Sodom?
    I hope you're not considering joining the other team.

  4. Reminds me of those two guys on "Myth Busters".
    Big bangs are just fun!

  5. I do absolutely love Mythbusters, but not for the big bangs. I have not idea what happened to the good people of sodom, but the name of the place is giving me a clue - Not considering the other team...yet

  6. Not too sure about the Sodom thing as I've got a bad dose of piles.
    Wouldn't it be great to be watching Mythbusters explaining/testing/making fireworks as you lick an oil covered Angelina Jolie with fireworks exploding above you?

    Sorry, going for a cold shower and a change of keks.

  7. "THE CURMUDGEON said...
    What about being the guy making fireworks with Angelina Jolie (after having been tasting Mission Estate Jewelstone Chardonnay). "

    What's so special about this Jewelstone then?

  8. Jewelstone is the top of the range, limited edition release from Mission. The Chardonnay is sublime.


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