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Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Activities 2

The second exciting installment of things to do (and be done to) for the last week of term.

Find the Virgin.

A simple and fast activity, suitable for all boys.

  1. A map of Nuova Lazio is given out with a red and a black pen.
  2. The boys are allocated diferent areas of Nuova Lazio to investigate.
  3. Each boy marks with a black pen the inhabitations (houses, sheds, tents and dug-outs common to Nuova Lazio) where non-virgins abide.
  4. Each boy marks with a red pen the inhabitations where they discover a virgin.
  5. All virgins below 12 are excluded.
  6. When they return destroy the maps, there's no point.  There are no virgins over 12 in NL.
  7. An excellent exercise in futility which builds character and wastes time.
  8. The perfect end-of-term activity

Dig a Hole

A complex task, suitable only for the high achievers.  Needs some preparation and equipment, 1 Moro bar and a small bag of raw peanuts.

A paddock is obtained from a local farmer/marijuana plantation owner (NOTE: Definitely NOT the same paddock as used for find the landmine)

  1. Both boys and girls can participate in this harmless activity
  2. Each person is given a shovel or a pickaxe
  3. The group (maximum 100 participants) proceed to the paddock, where you have already marked out separate digging areas of 5 metres square.
  4. The participants work in groups of 4, digging out the indicated area.
  5. Care must be taken not to:
    1. Throw soil into an adjoining marked area (bad form, not cricket) (Not that the bloody Black Caps would recognise a real game of cricket if it bit them in their collective arses)
    2. Bury tools under loose soil
    3. Bury other participants
  6. The holes dug have to be at least 5 metres deep
  7. At 1 O'clock, the groups change areas and proceed to fill in the recently dug holes.
    1. Be especially careful to note 2 and 3 of step 5 above.
  8. The first group to complete the fill-in do NOT get the Moro bar.  You eat it as you watch.  Seeing other people working hard causes a great hunger, and must be treated quickly.
  9. Remove all tools and COUNT THE PARTICIPANTS.
  10. Any missing can be accounted for as evolution in action
  11. Clean tools and return to Nuova Lazio High.
  12. Explain to the participants that they may as well get used to it.
  13. Distribute two peanuts each (2½ for the fastest group), and explain that they may as well get used to it.
More exciting activities tomorrow.

To complete today's package is a video expounding the reasons why men should by a certain British 'newspaper'.  The video needs sound and I recommend caution, as some naughty words and pictures are included.


  1. Good morning TSB (not the arena, the Scotsman). It's good to see you having fun.

  2. Joseph Goebbels would have had to be concerned about his job if you had been in Nazi Germany in the 30's and 40's.

  3. So, no virgins over twelve? Any wise men? {other than your good self?}

    Looking at your activities I need to ask....did you teach at Auchinleck in the late 70's????

    Ref reading material........



  4. Thanks Alistair,
    what's wrong with my books?

    regarding the virgins, probably not. I may have exagerated for some comic effect, but where I teach in NZ, think of a real Knoxland, but with bungalows instead of high-rise.
    And no I didn't teach in Auchinleck in the 70s, but I did teach in Fife and Perth in the late 90s, after I retrained after a long redundancy.

    I did however base these ideas on concepts delivered by a mad teacher I had in Hillhead in the late 50s.


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