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Monday, 23 August 2010

A Shortage of Humour

During another gruelling day at Nuova Lazio High, when I was running around like a sheep with a banger up its arse, organizing exam supervision and emergency cover for "normal" classes, chasing up work for the teachers who were actually relieving the classes, I was approached tentatively by one of the F├╝hrerM├Ądchen (the good one) over a sensitive topic.
Ever since I had taken over arranging relief, I had occupied an office in "Officer Country", and to explain my presence in such an exalted environment, I was in the habit of putting identifying notices on my door, of (I thought) a humorous mien.

I was told that someone had complained that these signs were not exhibiting the professionalism expected in Nuova Lazio, and could I please amend them to suit this person's sensibilities.

I complied.

I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I wonder however how you feel about these signs.

I've put some examples of them below.  Please feel free to comment.  Share your opinion.
Sign 1
Sign 2
Sign 3
Sign 4
Sign 5


  1. I liked the 3rd one. What do the innitials after the science degree mean?
    Pretty Good Cool Educator. Hates Naughty Children And I Mainly Like Scots?

  2. You know I loved these signs! Especially how they kept changing... like the Faulty Towers sign.
    What are we to get now?
    Something 'professional'?

  3. "I was told that someone had complained that these signs were not exhibiting the professionalism expected in Nuova Lazio."
    I'm picking Blind Date 12.

  4. PGCE(S) is a UK qualification, stands for Post Graduate Certificate in Education (Secondary), and is an essential qualification if you want to teach in Scotland.
    HNC is a Higher National Certificate
    AIMLS is Associate of the Institute of Medical Laboratory Science
    These last two were qualifications I needed when I worked in a Biochemistry laboratory in the Royal Hospital for Sick Children in Glasgow.

    Ah fun times. Analysing Gallons of Urine and Buckets of shit. Rather like teaching, insofar as marking my year 10 assessments is concerned.

  5. hi tsb,
    i read a joke about scottish people. i thought you might like it, here it is:

    A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when
    he gets a call on his cell phone.

    He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces,
    his wife has just produced a typical Scottish
    baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

    Nobody can believe that any new baby
    can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs,
    "That's about average up our way, I said - my boy's a typical Highland baby boy.."

    Two weeks later the man returns to the bar.. The bartender says,
    "Say, you're the father of that typical Scottish
    baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you?
    Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks how much does he weigh now?

    The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds".
    The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened"?
    "He was 25 pounds the day he was born."

    The father takes a slow swig from his Johnny Walker Whisky,
    wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender
    and proudly says, "Had him circumcised".

  6. Now Mein Name, I know hat this is all bullshit because you said that the story is about a Scotsman. It cannot be true because you said "He orders drinks for everybody in the bar..."

  7. "He orders drinks for everybody in the bar..."

    Let me go through this"joke" and do a quick deconstruction.
    A Scotsman would not buy drinks for a whole bar
    Scotland, like all of Europe is metric, so weight should be in kilos.
    Johnny Walker is not a popular whisky for Scots. It's an "international" brand. Although I grant you that as the bar is in England, where they are not terribly au fait with the subtelties of the whisky culture, it would indeed be likely to have a bottle of JW on the gantry, no self-respecting Scot would buy the stuff.
    (Please note; He wouldn't actually choose it or buy it, but if bought by another, the Scot would certainly drink it)

  8. hm...ok...i´ll try to find a better joke

  9. richard, you are a true friend!


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