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Sunday 15 August 2010

Algebra


I noticed that Richard (of RBB) made a comment on Pinky's blog, that he would like to see some pictures of Algebra. As Pinky is too busy this weekend, probably being half-drowned in some icy river at the arse end of the universe, I thought I'd step in and help out.

Algebra is a country on the outskirts of Europe on the south side of the Mediterranean Sea.

It is generally an arid country apart from the coast. Its biggest agricultural export is spaghetti, grown on trees developed over hundreds of years.
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It is world famous however for the invention of brackets. These brackets were originally hand crafted, using traditional techniques, and started the world wide interest in Algebra.
You can see some of the original bracket workshops below.


The demand for brackets has long outstripped the ability of such primitive manufacturing techniques, and Algebra now uses many state of the art factories to keep up with the world-wide demand. Sometimes they use foreign specialists to help them to increase their production and quality control, Japanese are much prized in this role.


While brackets have always been the mainstay of the production in Algebra, other mathematical products have also been made.

Integer powers have become important as have operators such as minus, division and multiplication. Algebra has always wished to move into the field of plus manufacture, but this has always been the mainstay of Germany, with their interest(some would say obsession)in addition.

After Algebra tried to take over world plus production in the 1930s, Germany felt threatened and invaded in 1940.


Eventually, the Americans and British, who had developed a strong need for Algebra brackets, promptly moved in to move the Germans out, and Algebra was restored to semi-autonomous rule(the French insisted on some control.) (Always the French) in 1944.


Eventually after a long struggle, Algebra was restored to full Independence in 1956.


In an attempt to grow at an exponential rate, Algebra put much time and effort into research of the manufacture of differential brackets, an area of manufacture in which the USA was pre-eminent.
Unfortunately such manufacture requires great precision, and because of the powers involved is a hazardous process.

The first such factory went operational in March 3rd 1977 at 3:22pm and blew itself to atoms on March 3rd 1977 at 3:24pm. (2 minutes)


Being a resolute people (but perhaps lacking in common sense) Algebra tried again in 1981 (4 minutes)


And again in 1984 (8 minutes)


And finally in 1991 (2.3 seconds)


This last event finally persuaded the government of Algebra to stop their attempts in differential manufacturing. Partly it is said because even after 4 attempts, the times were reducing, and partly because the amount of land left for any sort of viable usage had shrunk to such an extent that it was threatening the spaghetti trees.

Algebra has now returned to what it does best, the making of simple ordinary brackets. With one exception.
There has always existed in a secret place on the coast (some say it's an island) the weird and wonderful manufacturing facility for curly brackets.

It's a strange place, where the normal laws of physics do not seem to apply. Curly brackets do not have a huge market, being used by only the most unstable of mathematicians (and that's saying a lot)

There have been rumours recently of an attempt, at a secret location in one of the many desolate desert areas, of a secret facility which is designed to make both differential and integral brackets, Keep listening to the news, because if anything goes wrong, Algebra may well disappear for ever.

4 comments:

  1. The Algebrarians of course invented Universal Algebra. This was a corollary of their ever expanding search for X whereby explorers travelled the world looking in both likely and unlikely places. The first places searched were obviously Yemen and Yugoslavia in the belief that X = Y but as this was fruitless they began to search in Peru, Paraguay, Poland, Portugal etc and finally Qatar.
    The more intelligent of the explorers searched for T but disaster fell upon then when they expanded this into a search for SIN(T) . This led them into some of the seedier and godless places on earth and very few returned.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This proves that TwistedScottishBastard and The Curmudgeon are the same person.

    ReplyDelete

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