Farts and Friends

We all fart.

Bored and Bloated

I'm bored.

Wood

Now sit down, and take a deep breath.

The Art of Shopping

To put it simply, guys don't shop.

Isn't Modern Technology Great?

Well mostly.

The Gullibility of Women

Sometimes I wonder at what actually goes on inside the brain of a woman, or at least, inside my Beloved's head.

My Sort of Christmas Song (Again)

Thanks to The Wine Guy and Nicola for reminding me of this Christmas Classic, and again to Nicola for posting it last year.

Life is Hell

I'm bored

Literary Meme

I had never heard of a "meme" until I saw this on Fatuous Observations, so I thought I'd try one myself, using Patience_Crabstick's as a template.(with her permission)

Christmas Decorations Around The World

Even though many nations on our blue planet are at odds with each other and not all really celebrate Christmas, many do try and brighten up their lives with some sparkling Christmas decorations and illuminations.

Here are some examples

I've Got A Problem (Part the second)

Jason, my pet Amoeba (He's got more spine than me some days)

In my last post I alluded to the fact that I had a problem at Christmas.

Books for Christmas

Seeing it's the time of giving, I thought I'd give you all some ideas for presents.

Most of these books are aimed at the impressionable young, so be careful which you choose.

WARNING

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS POST.

THIS POST IS NOT EVEN AWARE OF THE CONCEPT OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.

THE MAIN OBJECT OF THIS POST IS TO AMUSE AND OFFEND ALMOST EVERYONE

Enter at your peril

I've Got A Problem (Part the First)

The problem is that I quite like Christmas.

House Art

I've had a lot of discussion recently about what is art and what is crap.

Beware

The news that a healthy NZ Fur Seal was shot dead on a beach near Foxton should be making many teachers, bureaucrats and politicians very nervous.

200,000

Wow.

Thank You All

We couldn't have done it alone.

Take a bow.

Bitter? Moi?

I briefly mentioned during the week that through the school roll dropping a bit this year, the Principal decided that they couldn't afford to pay me the extra Management Unit (worth round $4000 per year before tax) I get at the present to help everyone with the KAMAR (computerised school management system) and to produce the student's reports every term.

Oh Shit takes the lead

The winner

For the last year and a half, ever since Richard [of RBB] introduced me to the delights of blogging, I have been keeping an eye on the statistics of my little posts.

The Last Day

We did it.

Electives

No, this has nothing to do with the general election that NZ has just finished, but it is about choice.

Dirty Habits

Don't get too excited about the title, it may not be what you think.

Complete Serenity... Until

Lying on the garden swing

Finished

I finished the timetable last night.

It's that time of the bloody year again

Look you poor sods who live in the Northern Hemisphere, this is our Christmas scene.  Depressing, isn't it?

It's December.

My EBook Reader

It was my birthday earlier this month, and my family bought me an ebook reader.

We're going to be Kiwis

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!",

Professional Wednesday

Oh dear!

It's WEDNESDAY

Our day for being told to find out how to be better teachers.

It's Strangly Quiet

And I am calm.

There's Something Wrong

In one of my recent posts, I alluded to the shock that almost overcame me when I heard my son mention that he'd lost his ear-ring.

NoTime

Our senior kids have headed off to 2 weeks of exams and about 2½ months of holidays in the lovely New Zealand summer.

The Delights of Cottage Cheese

Last night on the TV, an advert came on for Cottage Cheese and it included a competition asking for the best Cottage Cheese recipe, so here's mine.

Things I wish I hadn't seen (3)

Finishing the list of things burnt into the memory circuits of what now laughingly passes for my mind.

Things I wish I hadn't seen (2)

A continuation of my previous list (obvious I know, but I do like to explain.  I'm a bloody teacher for goodness sake, that all I do, every bloody day to a bunch of **********, and that's just my colleagues)  I've added some general advice ( a moral, if you please) after each cautionary tale,

Style Nazis are genetic

Yes I said genetic, not generic.

Things I wish I hadn't seen (1)

I mentioned earlier some of the things I wished I'd not said.  Here's a list of some of the things I wish I had never laid eyes on.

Ethics, Love and Dinner.

I love my Beloved.

Every day, in many ways I demonstrate my devotion to my Beloved.

Vitamins and Whisky

According to the French, the way to health are these Glycerin suppositories.  Stuff them.

My Beloved (note the promotion to the full capital. Again) has said I must adopt a more healthy lifestyle.

I was right, it was a bastard of a day

I predicted a hard day of relief, but it got much, much worse.

It's going to be a bastard

I just know that today is really going to be a bastard of a day.

Activities (Again)

It's that time of the year again, when we try and figure out something for our juniors to do on the last week of term.

Sunday Sublime

What a lovely day

Dolls

I finished a long term restoration on a chaise-lounge which we keep in the bedroom.

Things I wish I hadn't said

We all make mistakes.

Here are some verbal mistakes of mine, in ascending order of cringe-making, fear and embarrassment.

If anyone asks

My beloved and my son and I have just applied for New Zealand citizenship (this has really nothing to do with the fact that the Abs have just won the Rugby World Cup (eat mud you cheese-eating surrender monkeys)

Yes, Yes, Yes

But it was a damn close run thing

Zen and the Art of Garden Maintenance

Become one with the Universe

Curses

I kid you not, ths popped up on the browser after a search of "Murrain".  If I get a terminal disease, I want it to look like this.

A Murrain on Tele-Marketers and Estate Agents.

Re-Awakenings

I'm on holiday for 5 more glorious days, and I can now manage to have a lovely long lie in bed.

France

This Sunday, the Pride of New Zealand; The All Blacks, face the perfidious French in the RWC® final.

Just saying

It's been a long, long road.

Just an experiment to see if I could create an animated gif and have blogger show it.

And of course to support the All Blacks.



Vive Le Tout Noir